I am Sam
by iamtryN
Summary: "It's Sam.Sammy was a chubby 12 yr old."Sam-pilot.Here is my version of where that came from.This is the summer bef. Sammy turns 12.So bef.he won the soccer trophy and Dean decides to embrace the hunter's life.For Fuzzball457, here's eating disorder Sam.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own, still not mine, never will be. (Sob quietly in the corner)

**NOTE#1**: I am sooooo sorry for the long delay. Pneumonia sucks. Still have the cough but feel better now. (I know it's no excuse) I'm very nervous about this story. I'm crossing everything that it won't be absolutely hated. Cause that would probably make me cry... LOL... Something is out to get me! "My Space" attacked my computer! Slid a malware virus called "Vista Total Security 2011" under my anti-virus and destroyed my computer! This was an updated version of this virus and the way they have posted to fix it is no longer valid, leaving us only the option to wipe our system and loose everything. My husband saved my stories and our pictures only, but thank god for that!

**NOTE#2**: I want to thank everyone so much for all the reviews on the last story. As well as for the continuing reviews on the other stories and of course for favs and alerts.

**NOTE#3**: This is my attempt to give Fuzz ball457 a story that will please and once again I hope this has been worth the wait!

Chapter 1

John was talking to Bobby on the phone in the motel room where they were currently located unaware that Sammy was standing outside that same motel's door as he listened to his father's conversation. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop; he'd walked up and placed his hand on the door handle when he heard his dad's raised slightly slurred voice and paused to listen, "Yeah, but Bobby… Sammy is so fat right now he'd never make it on this case… You have to keep him." John did some u huh's and yeahs and then replied, "But we'll be trekking through rough terrain he can't do it with his weight. He barely made it last time and that trail wasn't even that rough." and once again there was a slight pause of silence after which John sighed in obvious relief, "Thanks, Bobby. See you in a few days." Sammy heard the phone in the room being hung up and his father started shuffling around the room.

Sammy rapidly backed away from the door as he turned quickly the tears in his eyes caused him to trip over his feet. He went down hard as his chin hit the edge of the impala's bumper it cut him. He ignored the stinging sensation and the blood as he scrambled to his feet blindly turning again as he raced around the end of the building. Since they had taken the end room it was easy to get to the woods behind the room and a place he could hide in his shame and his tears.

Dean was occupied with video games, aka busy flirting with girls at the motel restaurant's arcade and would be busy for awhile longer. He wouldn't miss him. Sammy thanked God for small favors as he ran into the woods.

If his dad was this ashamed of him, _was Dean_? Neither one of them had ever acted like it. But if dad talked about him like that when he thought he wasn't around to listen, _did Dean_? Oddly enough he was more disturbed by the thought of Dean being ashamed of him than his dad.

He wasn't sure how long he ran before he tripped over a tree root and fell; hitting his head on the ground or a root he wasn't sure and didn't really care. He lay there stunned a few minutes as he breathed heavy; not that he cared where he lay he just wanted to stop thinking for a few minutes.

But he couldn't because he was fat. Dad had told Bobby he was too fat to come with them; to be a part of their lives. Dad was ashamed of him and he was not wanted; not anymore. Dad didn't want a fat son so he was giving him to Bobby. But what if Bobby didn't want him around either? He bit his lip as he tried not to cry.

Sammy felt he would have to change to be allowed to stay with Dean. Maybe then dad would let him be with them. He would have to be like the son dad wanted; like Dean. No more Sammy. Dean was thin, coordinated and he was everything Sammy was not. Sammy laid his head on his arm and gave up the effort not to breakdown as he cried himself to sleep.

Sometime later Sammy was startled awake by Dean calling his name. He sat up and shivered. He didn't remember where he was. He was cold and one foot was wet. He pulled his foot up and felt it; he was surprised to find his shoe was gone.

_Shit_, he mumbled. _What the hell_?

It was dark. _Why was it dark_? He rubbed his forehead and hissed in pain at the instant throb that started at his touch. Why couldn't he remember? He heard Dean call out a little more desperately this time and a whole lot closer.

Suddenly he heard his dad yell his name. _Oh… God… dad_… he thought frantically as it all came crashing back like a tidal wave. _Shit. I'm a burden_. This is just one more nail of proof in the Sammy coffin of fat. Sammy curled into a tight ball. He just wanted to disappear. _Right the hell now_. _Maybe_, he sat straight up; _if he ran like hell they wouldn't find him… he could disappear until he was as thin as Dean_. Then he could come back. Be a Winchester again.

Dean came crashing through the brush as he carried Sammy's shoe, his flashlight beam careened over Sammy's curled up frame as he hid against a tree.

"Sammy?" Dean gasped as he lunged over to him. He dropped the shoe next to Sammy as he flashed the light over him to check for injuries. He quickly took in the bruised and cut forehead and cut chin. He checked for a concussion as he worried that Sammy still hadn't responded.

"Dad! Over here!" Dean yelled. Then turned his attention back to Sam as his hands flew deftly over Sammy while he physically checked for injuries he talked gently to Sam, "Sammy, buddy, what the hell? What happened? Talk to me?" Dean's panic level sky rocketed when Sammy still didn't respond to him.

John charged through the underbrush to his boys in time to see Dean put Sammy's shoe on him and then pull him to his feet. As John saw Sammy virtually unhurt his rage started to role in, "What the hell have you been up to boy? You know better to be out here after dark. I know I have definitely made the right decision taking you to Bobby's for the next job."

"Dad!" Dean snapped instantly pissed off as he glared at his father. "Sammy hasn't spoken since I found him; I don't know why he was out here. So shut the fuck up. He's hurt! He's probably in shock." Dean shook his head in wonder at his dad's lack of concern, "_SHIT_!" Dean snarled when he pushed past his dad he took Sammy with him as he talked softly to him. He chose not to care that his fifteen year old ass was about to be in a sling for daring to talk to his dad like that.

Oh, god Dean knew. _Dean knew_. Tears ran unnoticed down Sammy's cheeks as Dean led him back to the motel room. Dean placed him gently on the bed they shared closest to the bathroom as he knelt in front of him and gently moved Sammy's face side to side. Worry notched even higher as Dean spotted the tears. He was silently kicking himself for his choice to stay behind to chat it up with that redhead while he played it cool and waved Sammy off not really paying attention to the time when Sammy left. So he now had no idea how long his Sammy had been in the woods or why. _Shit, he was an ass_.

"Sammy." Dean murmured gently as John watched from the open doorway. A few minutes later he came in quietly as he closed the door behind him. He leaned against it he watched Dean take care of Sammy.

Dean pulled the first aid kit out from under the bed and opened it as he ripped open bandages and antiseptic cream to get them ready to take care of his little brother. He didn't think he would have to stitch anything. _Thank god_, Dean thought silently. Besides it had been too long to do stitches. "Sammy, I need you to tell me what's going on. Okay, buddy? Can you do that for me?" Dean was worried because at this point Sammy still wasn't responding to him at all to his voice or to the cleaning of his cuts.

What the fuck had happened? Sammy had gotten bored as he watched him play at the arcade again aka flirting and was going to go back to the room to read. Dean had teased him about that being the more boring one and Sammy had grinned and had taken off and now this. It didn't make sense…

Dean glanced at his dad… what the hell was dad spouting off about Bobby's' for? What was that about the next job and leaving Sammy? Sammy first, then Dad… Dean decided.

Dean went back to concentrating on Sammy, "If you don't start talking kid, like right now. I'm loading you up and taking you to the hospital." Dean got nose to nose with Sammy as he told him, "I mean it, dude, I'll do it." It was starting to freak Dean out how Sammy still hadn't blinked; didn't even look like the kid was breathing.

"Samuel Winchester, what the hell were you doing in the woods?" John snapped tired of Dean's babying Sammy and getting nowhere.

Sammy jerked and nearly tumbled off the bed as he looked at his dad he tried to focus on him; he grabbed at the bed covers as he tried not to fall. Dean grabbed him and sat him upright as he soothed Sammy as he muttered softly to him, "its okay, Sammy."

"Running… fell… I… I… woke up when… I heard Dean… I was confused… I didn't remember… I… I… uh…" Sammy's lower lip started to tremble as he began to stutter.

"Was something chasing you?" Dean asked as he went instantly in protect little brother mode.

"I was training. Dad says I need to be able to run longer." Sammy said as he looked down in shame, "But I fell. I'm not good like you." Sammy looked all puppy dog eyed at Dean and he turned to goo.

Dean's hand reached up to ruffle Sammy's hair as he grinned at him, "Nobody's as good as me, no even dad. Besides I call bullshit! Sammy you're eleven. When I was eleven I was a klutz too, you'll out grow it." Dean said as his hand moved down to rub Sammy's shoulder.

John beamed as he thought about how Sammy had been training. _Maybe someday_… John frowned as he growled, "Don't go off alone… you gotta let one of us know… you hear me?"

"Yes, sir." Sammy said as he stared at his feet not daring to look at his father.

"I'm going out for a few hours Dean." John told Dean. Translation. Going to the bar. Going to drink. Maybe hustle some pool. Maybe I'll be back tonight. Maybe not.

"Okay." Dean told John as he stood then followed John to the door. He then closed and locked it behind his dad. He turned and headed back across the room.

"Thanks, Dean." Sammy said quietly still watching his feet intently.

"For what, bub?" Dean asked, reaching for a bag of M&M off the top of the TV on his way past it. He turned to watch Sammy as he blushed while he struggled to find the words he wanted to say.

"For lying to try to make me feel better." Sammy said bluntly as he picked at an imaginary piece of fuzz off his shirt.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked with a mouth full of M&M's.

"You have always been the perfect son. You have never been a klutz. But it was nice of you to say so." Sammy got up and wandered towards the bathroom as he glanced back with such sad eyes he closed the door behind him that Dean had to fight the urge to run after Sammy; bang on the door and demand that he let him in.

**TBC**

**Little note: **Done the chin meets bumper thing when I was about that age, but my encounter was with a Ford Galaxie 500, I think... It was a retired police car my dad just had to have. My sister had me convinced it was haunted. (yep, older sis)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Still do not belong to me… except when I'm dreaming up a story… but then all too soon I have to come back to reality and… again (sob) their not mine…

**NOTE#1**: Thanks to Hotshow for her suggestion on how to post my story and Thanks to Fuzzball457 on how to add chapters! Thanks for the reviews! and as always the favs and alerts. Awesomely cool!

Chapter 2

Dean stood still for a couple of seconds as he stared at the closed door before he thought _the hell with it _as he dropped the M&M bag on the table on his way by. He started to knock on the door when he heard Sammy's soft crying, "Awh, Sammy…" Dean said softly as he silently tried the knob, surprised to find it unlocked.

He opened the door and looked for his little brother. He found him wedged in the corner between the sink and the tub. He knelt down and grasped Sammy's elbow and pulled sliding Sammy along the edge of the tub to him. He finally pulled his little brother into a hug as he settled against the tub with Sammy in the crook of his arm snug against his side. "Now, you want to tell me the truth? What really happened?"

Sammy cried harder as he thought, _Dean didn't think he was able to even train_… he did think he was too fat.

"Hey…" Dean gave him a little shake as he questioned his little brother, "I expected to have to break a door and you didn't even lock it."

"Dad said he'd beat your ass if you broke another door over me…" Sammy bit his lip and a sniffle escaped before he corrected himself. "over my being a girl…"

Dean sighed as he asked, "So, you heard that did you?"

"Dean… the whole motel heard dad…" Sammy rolled his eyes then went on to say, "He'd just come back from the bar where he'd lost all that money. He was pissed off already. I was just another…" Sammy was looking at the wall as he talked.

"You _are not a burden_, Sammy." Dean interrupted, "Dad didn't even remember calling us that the next morning. I asked him. It was the anniversary of the fire. He never takes that well… you know that. The longer not finding the thing that kill…" Dean shook his head as he stopped himself before he changed the direction of where he'd almost headed concerning their mom. "It just wears on him that's all… _it's not us_. I promise." Dean said as he rubbed Sammy's arm while he talked.

"Dean, dad didn't call '_us_' a burden he called '_me_' a burden. I'm not like you…" Sammy started only to have Dean turn on him.

"You are my gift from mom. Mom gave you to me. She gave me the job of being your big brother so don't ever let me hear you say that again." Dean snapped angry, unable to think of why he was so mad. It wasn't like he hadn't had this conversation with Sammy before. He wasn't sure what was going on now but for some reason Sammy was feeling like he was a burden again and it had happened after the arcade and before Dean had found him. But he was missing a key element that was the exact _what _that made him feel that way this time.

Sammy smiled and moved to stand thinking to himself, _pretend nothing is wrong _as he asked aloud, "Want to run a mile with me?"

"What? You're kidding right? It's dark." Dean looked at Sammy stunned enough that he loosened his grip on him.

Sammy scrambled to his feet and as he turned he backed up against the opposite wall to stare down at Dean.

"Okay… Sammy. You're kinda freaking me out. What is going on in that freaky head of yours?" Dean asked bluntly as he then made a move to stand as well.

Sammy plastered a bigger smile on his face and shook his head as he told Dean, "Nothing. Just lets… um, spar or something before bed or something… maybe a pushup contest?" He knew he was trying too hard to appear normal and he thought maybe he'd just repeated himself.

"No way, little man. You have one hell of a bruise on your head and a matching one on your chin. I think you can take a night off. Besides you usually beg out so you can study or read or some shit. Documentary anyone?" Dean joked as he stood while he watched Sammy closely. He noted the hurt look on Sammy's face at his words.

Sammy jutted his chin out which meant trouble. Dean knew that look, he groaned as he prepared to take the fallout of that stupid choice of words.

"Maybe I'm done being a kid, maybe it's time I grew up." Sammy said as his voice trembled slightly and he stormed out the door slamming it closed behind him.

Dean said in his, I'm being a smartass-find it funny please cause I really don't want to eat crow and do something sappy to make you happy tone, "That was really grown up Sammy-boy, slamming the door in my face." He expected to see his little brother thrown across their bed pouting. So when Dean got out into the room he was surprised to find Sammy between the beds doing military pushups.

Dean came over to the end of their bed and stood silently watching Sammy for a minute and when he counted ten he put his hand on Sammy's shoulder, "Stop, Sammy. Let's eat, you missed dinner you must be starved."

Right on cue Sam's stomach growled. Dean smiled as he told Sam, "See your stomach agrees."

"Dean, I'm not hungry." Sammy told his brother looking up at him even though Dean had it right, _he was_ hungry.

"Well, let's put it this way. I haven't eaten. I'm starved. But, I'm not eating a damn thing until you do." Dean stated as he stood and crossed his arms.

Sammy knew Dean was in always hungry mode and if he missed dinner for him he couldn't let him not eat. That would selfish and he'd already done that tonight when he'd made Dean worry and hunt him down in the woods. So he stood plastered on a smile and asked, "What are we having?"

Dean walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bucket of chicken. Securing it in the crook of his arm he pulled two plates out of the cabinet of the small kitchenette and marched over to the table. Plopping the bucket down he sat a plate down in front of the spot next to him and one in front of himself as he commented, "We really didn't need plates but I thought being Sammy you'd like some elegance with your dinner." he finished his sentence with a smirk.

Walking back he grabbed two glasses as he asked, "Milk, water or soda?"

Sammy bit his lip, water had no calories…he could drink all that he wanted, he smiled as he told Dean, "Water."

Dean frowned as he told him, "You need milk for the calcium and vitamins. Milk it is."

Sammy stomped his foot as he snapped, "Why'd you ask me what I wanted, if you were just going to give me milk anyway? Jerk." Sammy plopped down in the chair. Didn't Dean understand? He had to be like Dean to stay.

Dad said he was going to leave him at Bobby's for the next job. _But he knew his dad_. It would start with the one job, then one more, then the one after that and then pretty soon Bobby would have to enroll him in school to stay out of trouble. Then dad would think it would be a great idea for him to spend the year with Bobby. For school. Then they would forget about him. The visits would get farther apart then eventually stop all together. It had almost happened before. But this time he was certain his dad would follow through and leave him completely. If he did it gradually enough maybe Dean wouldn't notice this time.

The last time it had happened Dean hadn't been interested in girls so he noticed and missed Sammy more. Dean didn't allow it and Sammy knew that was really why he was even here now. It was because Dean wanted him around. He lunged at Dean startling him, "I'm sorry Dean. You're the best brother. I love you. Don't stop being my brother, okay?" Sammy pleaded puppy dog eyes in full glory.

Dean carefully set the glasses down over Sammy's shoulders on the table before returning the hug, "Stop being your brother?" He laughed as he told him, "You're stuck with me you little bitch."

Sammy beamed up at him then stepped away to sit at the table. Noticing his glass of water he glanced over his shoulder to beam a full dimpled smile at Dean, "Thanks, D."

Dean nodded as he smiled back but his mind was swirling at Sammy's mini-melt down over drinks. What the hell was going on with his little brother? He was definitely acting weird. Dean sat down and took out a leg out of the bucket quickly followed by a thigh. He sat a moment then grabbed another piece not even looking to see what he got.

At the expression of wonder on Sammy's face Dean shrugged, "What? I'm hungry, dude."

Sammy shook his head as he reached and pulled the skin of his piece of breast meat. He picked at the meat, spreading it all over the plate to look like he was eating it. He'd heard the cheerleaders at their last school talking about different ways to loose weight. At the time he'd just been curious why they were worried about it in the first place. They were all beautiful. They all said he was adorable and naive. That they got skinny by dieting. One ate nothing at all, except lettuce. He didn't think that type of diet would slide past Dean unnoticed. Another ate everything she wanted then went to the bathroom and threw up as soon as she got the chance. That was just gross but he remembered back to one time last summer when he'd been sick with the flu. He'd thrown up everything Dean gave him, even water. He'd lost six and a half pounds. Dean had been beside himself with worry. He grinned as he decided that was the way to go. Dean would never suspect. Because Dean would see him eating and he would be happy. Sammy would feel full because he would eat; cause to tell the truth he enjoyed eating. But he could throw it up first chance and boom… no calories. The best of both worlds.

Sammy grinned as he stuffed a large piece of meat in his mouth and chewed happily.

Dean blinked in confusion at his brothers quick change then smiled, kids_ who could figure them out_?

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: It is so sad… (sniffle) They still aren't mine! No matter how much I beg and plead… meanies…

**NOTE#1: **Thanks so much with all the help with the tips on posting! I love the reviews! (anybody that says they don't enjoy getting reviews- is lying!) LOL. Thank you so much for the encouragement as well as the favs and alerts.

**NOTE#2**: I am so sorry for the late post. Trying to post from my laptop... argh... Stupid tiny keyboards... might have to cut my nails, keep hitting the wrong keys... oh, well. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Sammy finished his meal completely with bursting enthusiasm and even got both of them milk to finish off the dinner with.

After dinner when Dean suggested watching a monster movie marathon while he was throwing M & M's at Sammy; he agreed to if Dean promised not to throw anymore candy. What Sammy didn't say is that he wanted to eat that candy so it was imperative to get Dean to stop.

He wondered if maybe he could just not eat tomorrow or maybe throw up every other day. Would that work? He was sure that the food would not taste the same way coming up as it did going down. Maybe his plan wasn't the greatest after all. He wished he could talk to Dean about it, but Dean would shit bricks. He wouldn't let him explain why before Dean blew a gasket so better to say nothing. He'd figure it out on his own.

So he sat down to watch the first movie with Dean. They must have dozed off as they watched them because Sammy woke up to the white snow of the TV and the noise that always accompanied it. But that wasn't the noise that woke him, neither was Dean's occasional snore. It was the banging coming from the kitchenette.

_Shit_. Dad was home. From the sounds of it he was not happy. He knew he should stay where he was and pretend to be asleep. But the curses were getting louder. He was afraid if he didn't get up and try to calm his dad down, at the very least he would wake Dean. At the worst, he would wake other people in the motel and get the manager called on them. With each year that passed Dad seemed to get more angry and he seemed to be able to make dad worse by his meer presence. Sammy gently pushed the covers off so he wouldn't wake Dean and padded silently across the small space and peeked around the corner.

His Dad was pulling things out of the fridge and apparently when not finding what he was looking for he would throw what ever in his hand in the sink.

Sammy bit his lip and then stepped out into view as he waited silently for his dad to notice that he was there.

His dad was muttering; about what he couldn't tell when he turned and noticed Sammy, "How long you been standing there spying on me?" he snapped as he threw something.

Sammy thought it was thrown his direction causing him to instinctively cover his face. After he heard a thump he looked between his crossed arms at the trashcan. _Oh_, he felt his face redden as he lowered his arms to grin foolishly at his father.

"If I was going to hit you… you'd know it boy. There'd be no doubt." John snapped his anger overriding his mouth. He'd had a bad night. He'd been tense with the whole Sam disappearing act. Then to top everything off he'd lost a hundred dollars he didn't have to lose at poker. He should have stuck with pool. He'd won three hundred playing tonight. So, he was still two hundred ahead. The beer and whiskey hadn't settled his nerves… he was still wired from earlier. _Sammy_. Why couldn't he just be more like his…

"Did you eat all the chicken and drink all the milk?" John snapped as he halted the thoughts in his head.

Sammy shook his head no… _he and Dean had_ he thought silently.

"_Did Dean_?" He started to walk over to the bed to wake up Dean.

"No. I did." Sammy said quickly as he tried to halt his dad with his words. Dean always took the fall when dad was mad; he felt it was his turn to do the same for his big brother.

John blinked rapidly, "You…" He pointed his finger at Sammy, "You lied to me." His voice incredulous. _The little brat_! "Like you need to eat all that! You can barely keep up with us as it is…" John growled even as he thought to himself that he needed to just shut up he continued aloud, "You really could afford to loose a few pounds…" He looked at Sammy in disgust as he snapped without censure. "Maybe skip a few meals." He was hungry, it was late and nothing was open. _But it wasn't really Sammy's fault _his brain finally managed to relay. "Sammy… I…" He started to apologize.

Sammy held up a hand while he simultaneously backed up a step as he said, "You're right dad… it won't happen again." and Sammy turned and bolted back for the bed. He crawled under the covers as he buried his head he started to cry. Well at least he knew where dad stood beyond any doubt. He knew he shouldn't cry because he didn't want his dad or Dean to hear, but it was so hard not to.

The next morning Sammy woke up to his dad and Dean yelling at each other; he stayed frozen in place as he pretended to still be asleep.

"No… I'll stay too then." Dean stated stubbornly.

Sammy could almost see Dean with arms crossed, feet braced slightly apart as he held his chin stubbornly jutted out because that was the stance he used with '_that_' tone of voice.

"Like hell you will. It will do you both some good to be apart." John stated as he continued to clean his gun.

"_You tell me_…" Dean growled and then stopped himself as he took a deep breath and restarted in a lowered voice, "you have drilled it into me my whole life… _he's my responsibility_. How the hell am I suppose to watch him if I'm not there?" Dean whispered harshly at his dad, not wanting Sammy to hear.

"Dean, it's been settled…" John said tiredly as he tried to reason with his oldest.

"Then unsettle it… either he goes or I stay." Dean demanded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I give the orders around here, boy… _not you_." John snapped as he started to get pissed.

"Yes, sir." Dean replied automatically even as he continued to look mutinous.

John sighed as he tried to reassure him, "Dean it's only one job… _that's it_. Then we will swing back by and get him." John watched Dean as he continued, "Besides he'd probably have more fun there than traipsing around the woods with us. Bobby's going to put him to work alphabetizing all his books. With his library he will probably still be doing that when we pull back in."

Dean looked as if he was considering it when he said, "I'm just worried dad. I mean we almost lost him just yesterday and now you want to leave him somewhere." Dean ran a hand through his hair as he asked, "What kind of message is that giving Sammy?"

"Sammy will be bored…" John stated then added, "and it's just one case. He won't even miss us. Besides it's Bobby's, not just some random place. He likes it at Bobby's. We can get in and get back out a lot quicker if he wasn't dragging his feet behind us."

Dean studied his father and then glanced over at the bed as he chewed his lip. He knew that Sammy loved Bobby and still occasionally called him Uncle. Dean frowned as he thought about how much Sammy loved reading books in general. It was one of his favorite things to do. He also knew how much his newly growing body was starting to trip him up. He always been a little uncoordinated, but now it seemed like his feet were always tripping him up and making dad mad.

Dean gave a slight nod as he told his father with a sigh, "I'll talk to him… explain to him that it's just the one case."

John released a sigh of relief. Now that Dean was on board Sammy wouldn't be a problem because Dean would smooth everything over.

Dean went over and sat on the edge of the bed beside Sammy. He wanted Sammy to know that it was because he thought Sammy would be happier without Dad breathing down his neck every five seconds that he was going along with this.

Sammy pretended to still be asleep until Dean reached out and gently shook him awake by his shoulder. Sammy pretended to stretch and yawn as he slowly opened his eyes to find Dean watching him closely. "Hey, Dean." Sammy yawned again as he pretended to just be waking up.

"Hey, Sammy. No nightmares from the movies last night?" Dean asked with pretend cheer. He knew that if Sammy guessed how worried he was it would only serve to upset him.

"No, I might be getting allergies or something. My eyes are watering and burning." Sammy lied to cover up the truth of the tears as he sat up.

Dean looked closely at Sammy as he noticed _his eyes were red_. His eyes narrowed as he realized it looked as if Sammy had been crying with the tear tracks left behind on his cheeks to prove it, "Sammy?"

"What?" Sammy sniffed as he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

Dean started to follow but was stopped by John's comment, "I think the boy is old enough to go to the bathroom by himself Dean."

Dean bit back the angry retort he felt immediately pop to the surface. Sammy was old enough for what John felt he was old enough for; anything else then it was 'he's too young' when he didn't want Sammy to do something. Dad was being a hypocrite and Dean found that extremely aggrevating. He wanted to tell him so, but knew it would be more fighting and he didn't want Sammy caught in the middle. He was jostled around so much as it was with the kind of life they led. He didn't want to add to it. Besides he could argue it out with his dad when they got to "_the all important job_" that Sammy wasn't good enough to go on.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I still jump into the sandbox everyday to play but it always stays the same. Those meanies find me, drag me out and _here's the cruelest part_… tell me the Winchester boys aren't mine… (Rubs eyes with fist as wails whaaaa… aaah!) LOL

**NOTE#1**: Thank you so much for all the reviews, as always I love them! Also the amount of favs and alerts is awesome as well! Hopefully now my life can be some resemblance of normal… Oh, who am I kidding… there is nothing normal abOut me… (Smile) but I did get everything moved over to the laptop. So, fingers crossed (and everything else) for smooth sailing from now on.

Chapter 4

Dean ignored his father and walked to the closed bathroom door while he knocked softly as he said, "Sammy I need to talk to you about something."

"What D?" Sammy asked through the door because he wanted that barrier between them so Dean couldn't tell that he was upset.

"Well," Dean started adding sarcasm as he continued, "It'd be a lot easier to explain to you if I was talking you instead of a door."

Sammy gave a soft sigh as he opened the door and stood there waiting.

Dean studied Sammy as he asked suddenly, "Why don't we walk over to the burger joint and we can eat lunch and talk."

Sammy asked with a thin smile, "We just got up shouldn't it be breakfast?"

Dean spread his arms wide as he grinned and said with words coated with fake cheer, "Burger joint… burgers… their great anytime…"

Sammy quickly agreed to go with his brother. Anything to get away from dad; not that he was about to eat anything after what dad had said to his face. He could almost pretend to have misunderstood his dad's phone call with Bobby. It was impossible to pretend that last hadn't happened even though he desperately wanted to.

At the door Dean turned to ask their dad, "Do you want us to bring you back something?"

"Yeah, two the usual way." John said not bothering to look up.

As Dean turned back towards the door John added, "Large fries."

Dean chuckled as he asked, "Okay dad, anything else?"

"Pie if they have it. Couple pieces." John added as he pulled out his wallet, "here."

"Hey, Sammy, you want to grab that?" Dean asked Sammy who was behind him.

Sammy looked like he wanted to say no but he turned and silently went to get the money from John.

As Sammy went to take the money, John looked Sammy in the eye as he told him softly, "Sorry, son."

Sammy turned red and nodded as he took the money and hurried back to Dean. He really didn't believe dad when he said sorry anymore. He was always saying little mean comments and then later he would sometimes try to apologize but Sammy didn't think he meant it.

As they walked Dean kept looking at him and then quickly looked away, "What D?"

"You seem upset." Dean commented as glanced once again at his brother.

"No." Sammy answered not looking Dean in the eye.

"You aren't?" Dean asked as he continued to study his baby brother.

"No." Sammy repeated as he looked the other way.

"Are you going to tell me what happened in the woods?" Dean asked quietly.

"No." Sammy said while he kicked at an empty pop bottle.

"Ya know you can tell me anything, right?" Dean looked away as he said it.

Sammy studied Dean. He could tell Dean _almost _anything, but _not everything_. He knew that. He'd known it for years. When it came to their dad he kept his own council. Because telling Dean all that happened would either; _one_ make Dean mad at him or _two_ mad at dad. He really didn't really want either one. So with that in mind he chose not to say anything.

Dean sighed as he pressed on with the questions. "Did anything happen on the way back to the room?"

"No." Sammy answered again with the one word response.

"Sammy. I need to know you're okay." Dean finally said with a sigh.

Sammy thought to himself, _He needs to know I'm alright so he won't feel guilty for leaving me alone at Bobby's._

Sammy plastered on a smile as he looked Dean in the eye and lied, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, well you look like shit." Dean deadpanned before grinning as he grabbed Sammy in a headlock and nuggied him.

Sammy whined as he tried to push Dean away, "D, quit it."

Dean moved his arm to across Sammy's shoulders as they walked along a few steps. As they closed in on the hamburger joint Dean dropped his arm from Sammy's shoulder and straightened up taller.

Sammy followed Dean's gaze, _Oh_, the girl from the night before. Sammy stepped away from Dean as he muttered, "I'll just go…" He stopped he didn't want to go back and he didn't want to eat, he stood there undecided, trying to figure out which way to go.

"No." Dean said simply pulling him back next to him by his light jacket. As they walked up to the doors Dean stopped to talk to the girl. "Hey, Mandy."

"Sandy…" She paused a second before continuing, "Hi." She said.

Dean pretended to misunderstand on purpose as he stated, "No, I'm Dean."

She blushed and giggled as she swatted at his arm, "Silly… _I'm _Sandy."

Dean smiled that knockem' dead smile at her as he drawled, "Hey, Sandy."

She giggled as she twirled a strand of hair she asked while batting her long eye lashes at him, "Want to share a burger and fries?"

"Sorry, Sandy… I'm hanging out with my little brother today." Dean said with a look that said he really wasn't sorry.

She looked very disappointed as she offered, "He can tag along."

"Sorry, hon… we're doing a brother thing." Dean said as his smile disappeared. She made it sound like Sammy was some puppy that they could drag along behind them if they had to and he decided he really didn't like her as he pulled Sammy into the building.

Sammy said softly, "You can eat with her, its okay."

"Not with me bro… you trying to bail on me? What's up with that?" Dean said in a mock scrawl.

"No… I just don't want to cramp your style or anything." Sammy looked at Dean with such a sad look that Dean felt instantly guilty.

"Sammy, I'm sorry about last night. I should have hung out with you. Then last night wouldn't have…" Dean said in a guilt ridden voice.

"No. It's not your fault. I'm responsible for me. _Me-Sam_. Not anybody else. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting a life that doesn't revolve around babysitting me." Sammy said miserably as he looked away.

"You heard me and dad?" Dean asked flatly with a frown.

Sammy nodded still not looking at Dean.

"Sammy I don't regret you being in my life. I wouldn't want to be here without my sidekick… you get me?" Dean shoulder nudged him as he waited for a response.

Sammy gave a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes as he faked cheerfulness for Dean's benefit, "Yeah, but maybe you're the sidekick."

Dean smirked as he slugged Sammy on his upper arm as he said, "Yeah, right… have you seen me? I'm obviously Batman… that leaves you Robin."

Sammy thought yeah, Robin_. _Short_ and _fat. Sammy sighed as he commented, "I thought you were starving."

"You can't distract _the man_… we'll finish this after breakfast, let's order." Dean stated firmly as he herded Sammy towards the counter.

After they sat down Dean frowned at Sammy's selection, a plain burger and a small fries. "That can't be all you're eating." Dean stated.

"Why not? I'm not that hungry." Sammy stated as he took a bite of fry.

Dean frowned at him before he brought up the subject he'd brought Sammy to the restaurant for in the first place, "So if you heard us then you know what dad's proposing."

Sammy sat down his fry when he suddenly felt nauseous as he nodded.

Dean watched him set down his food as he responded to Dean's statement.

"Sammy it would only be one case and you wouldn't have dad breathing down your neck like he's going to be mine." Dean said stuffing a couple of fries in his mouth as he carried on with the one sided conversation, "Dude, you'd have days to just read whatever you wanted… as long as you wanted."

"Dude, "Sammy said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "That's gross. I thought this was a hamburger joint, not a sea food place."

Dean opened his mouth wider as he stuck a couple more fries in he grinned then stuck his tongue at Sammy to show him even more food.

Sammy shook his head when he couldn't help but grin back at Dean.

Dean finished chewing up his fries as he asked Sammy, "We good, bro?"

Sammy nodded, and then looked out the window as his smiled faded away.

Dean watched worriedly as he pretended not to be watching Sam as he took a bite of his burger. Something was up and he had tonight to figure out what. They were leaving later the same day to drive to Bobby's then they would be there a few hours before heading out. This was his only chance to really talk to Sammy.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: Still don't… yada yada ya… we don't own them… never will…

**NOTE#1**: Thanks so much for all the reviews and wonder comments! Love them! As well as the favs and alerts. I am sorry my life has been bleeding over into my writing world and I missed a posting day! _begging on knees... lip stuck out in pout... forgive me?_

Chapter 5

"So, little brother… How are you going to spend your down time… reading or _reading_?" Dean asked after inhaling one burger and ordering a second. He finished off his fries while he waited on his second burger to be cooked.

"Training." Sammy stated as he turned to look at Dean, square in the eye.

Dean looked for a sign that Sammy was joking but when he didn't find one he asked, "Sammy?" Dean continued in a questioning tone, "What is up with you?"

"Nothing." and out jutted Sammy's chin again.

_Shit_! Dean thought as he watched Sammy's face close off indicating he was done talking.

"Reading is your favorite thing to do and you're going to be in a house for several days filled to the brim with books and you're telling me you're going to train." Dean leaned across the table and pressed the back of his hand to Sammy's forehead to check for fever.

Sammy jerked his head away as he snapped, "Don't. I'm fine."

"That doesn't sound fine to me. Maybe you're coming down sick…" Dean mused and then added, "Maybe I should stay with you. I'll tell dad that…"

"No!" Sammy snapped, "All that will do is piss dad off at me more than he already is. It's like he said, _I'm old enough to go to the bathroom by myself_."

"Sammy, what _is_ going on with you?" Dean asked as confusion slid headlong into worry.

"Not a damn thing." Sammy said flatly.

It sounded funny coming from his eleven year old little brother. "Ok then… I guess your fine." Dean said as he leaned back against the bench back.

"I guess I am." Sammy agreed as he stuffed a small fry in his mouth.

Dean was hurt that Sammy was shutting him out when it suddenly hit him what Sammy had said, "Why do you think Dad is pissed at you?"

"I didn't say I did." Sammy mumbled as he stuffed another fry in his mouth to avoid talking.

"Yes you did, _you said if I stayed with you dad would be even more pissed at you than he already is_, which indicates you think dad is mad at you. Why do you think that?" Dean asked again demanding an answer.

"I don't." Sammy stated his tone remaining flat as he looked back out the window.

"Hummm. Maybe I should ask dad? Did you have a fight? Is that why you…" Dean wondered out loud.

"God, D!" Sammy yelled causing people to turn and stare at them.

Dean waved with a smile as he turned his attention back to Sammy.

Sammy lowered his voice as he leaned forward, "It is _not_ important. Drop it or I swear I will fucking walk to Uncle Bobby's right now then you won't have to bother driving my fat ass there." Sammy snapped as he shoved his food at Dean and stood. "I'm going to go pack my shit so dad doesn't bitch at me for that too." His frustration at a boiling point as he turned and stormed out of the building.

Dean sat there for a moment as things sank in, _so dad doesn't bitch at me for that too _meant that he and dad had had a discussion about _his fat ass_?

"What the hell?" Dean muttered as he stood up leaving everything on the table. He took his hamburger and tossed it in the bag with his dad's order that he picked up as he walked out.

As he ran back to the motel he wasn't sure if he would find Sammy there or not. As pissed as his little brother was he wouldn't put it passed him to carry out his threat and walk to Bobby's.

When Dean walked in and handed the bag of food to his dad, he noticed Sammy's bag was packed on the bed and dad was beaming at Sammy. _Okay, weird_. Dean thought as he asked, "What's going on?"

"Sammy's come up with a great idea. He's going to catch a bus from here so we don't have to go out of our way to drop him off." John stated proudly beaming at Sammy again.

_OK, that alone was creeping him the fuck out_… "_NO_." Dean stated firmly.

"Why not?" They asked in unison his dad clearly surprised.

"Because if you want me on this case, _WE_ will take him to Bobby's and drop him off. _NO_ _BUS_!" Dean snapped as he glared at both of them. Dean was half worried that if he let him on that bus he wouldn't go to Bobby's he'd run to god knew where and then he'd have to kill him when he finally caught him. _So, uh… no. Not happening_.

Sammy jumped up and stormed from the room and slammed the bathroom door behind him. Dean heard the lock click into place. Dean would deal with Sammy in a minute. _First dad_. "Dad, you want to explain to me why Sammy thinks you're mad at him?"

"I'm not." John stated as he looked towards the bathroom door then back to Dean.

"Then why does he think that?" Dean persisted.

"How should I know… I'm not in his head. I have no idea what he's thinking." John stated and then looked thoughtful, then his eyebrows shot up as he semi remembered saying something to Sammy when he got home and was trying to find something to eat.

"What dad?" Dean asked because he could tell by the look on his dad's face he remembered something.

"I don't… _I apologized_." John stated defensively as he stood. "I'm the dad here, _boy_. You need to remember that. I'm going to gas up the car. Be ready to go when I get back." He snapped and then stormed out the door.

"Yes, sir." Dean said as he walked towards the bathroom door. He started to knock but suddenly stopped and stood listening at the strange sound coming from the bathroom. He leaned closer as he tried to decide what the sound was. He heard it again; it sounded like gagging and then puking. _Shit_! Sammy must be really upset to be throwing up. Dean thought as he knocked softly.

The bathroom got silent.

"Sammy, let me in bub." Dean said as he tried the knob, he wasn't surprised to find it still locked.

"No. I'm fine." Sammy stated finally.

"Puking your guts up ain't fine. Dad told me you two had words." Dean said as he leaned his forehead against the door.

"Where's dad?" Sammy asked suspiciously.

"Gone to tank up. He wants us ready when he gets back. You seem to be coming down with something… I don't…" Dean started but stopped in mid-sentence, he was getting uneasy about leaving Sammy anywhere, especially if he was sick.

"Dean…" Sammy sighed as he told Dean tiredly. "Dad said what he needed to and that was it. I went to bed… maybe I have got the flu…" Sammy decided that would be a good cover for puking.

"Well, let's get you some orange juice on the way out of town and then we'll get some soup and stuff for you to eat at Bobby's. How does that sound?" Dean asked as he turned and leaned against the wall beside the door.

There was the same silence as before… Dean brought his hand back to rap his knuckles against the door.

"D… I don't feel good." Sammy said suddenly and then Dean heard Sammy puking again.

Dean turned back around to face the door again. Wiggling the handle Dean told Sammy, "Open the door, Sam or I will break it down."

Silence again from the bathroom.

"I mean it, bitch. Now open up. One…" Dean paused for dramatic affect and then continued, "Two." He took a step back as he prepared to kick the door.

He heard the lock turn as his little brother wisely chose to unlock the door. "Smart boy." Dean muttered aloud as he opened the door.

Sammy was sitting on the floor with his back against the bathtub with his head resting on his drawn up knees.

Dean sat down beside him and put his arm across Sammy's shoulders, "Feel better?" Dean asked as he leaned down to try to see Sammy's face.

Sammy nodded yes without looking at Dean. He felt if Dean could see him he would know that he'd made himself sick on purpose. Sammy was ashamed for getting caught but he was glad Dean fell for the _just being sick_ bit. He could work that angle for a week at least.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: Oh, well I can live with borrowing the boys… they don't belong to me… of course; I may have a relapse in the near future… LOL.

**NOTE#1**: Thanks so much for the amazing comments when reviewing! Love them! Adore the reviews! As well it is always cool to see adds to favs and alerts! Also got a community add… _dude_!

Chapter 6

Dean heard the motel door open, close and then silence… in which he imagined his dad looking around and getting pissed because nothing was packed. A few seconds later he heard his dad stomp across the floor towards the bathroom. Dean thought that was impressive since it was carpeted concrete.

John stopped in the doorway as he took in the scene before he snapped, "What's wrong now?"

Dean stared at his dad before he returned the nasty tone, "He's sick; he's been throwing up since before you left."

At that time Sammy didn't have to make himself puke, he just felt it coming. He'd been queasy since the last time he'd forced himself to puke. He cradled his midsection as he lurched forward and spun around to puke in the tub.

Dean gave his dad a _see I told you so_ glare as he turned and rubbed Sammy's back as he told him softly, "You can go lay down in the backseat. I'll load your stuff."

"Hey, I give the orders around here, little man." John said waspishly.

"Dad, do you really want him puking all over your shit?" Dean asked not fazed at all by his dad's tone.

"Dean, take him to the car; grab a pillow off one of the beds. They can charge the card for it. Also grab a trashcan just in case he has to puke on the way. Then come back in and help me load the rest of this." John ordered as he turned and walked over to the table to load the weapons bag.

"Come on, Sammy. I'll even ride in the back with you." Dean promised as he helped Sammy stand and led him outside to the car. He stopped only long enough to grab an empty trashcan and a pillow.

_Wow_, Sammy thought, _puking can sure wear you out_. Or it could have been a combination of throwing up and the fact that he hadn't had much sleep the night before. He decided he was tired whatever the cause as he let Dean open the back door and help him into the car. Sammy gave a sudden shiver as he leaned back against the seat.

Dean noticed and told Sammy, "Hold on… I'll be right back." He jogged back into the room snatching a blanket and bed spread off the bed and the second pillow. Let them charge the card; Dean didn't give a shit, it wasn't theirs. Normally he didn't do anything that added extra money to the charge but this was Sammy. Sammy's needs were his exception to the rule.

He ran back outside to the open car as he sidestepped the door and leaned in he said, "Ok, Sammy…" Dean stopped… blinking as he realized Sammy appeared to be asleep. _Huh_… Dean thought as he wrapped the bed covers over his little brother tucking it in around him. Then he locked the door and tossed the extra pillow in and then shutting it before he turned to go back into the room.

Walking back into the motel, John asked sarcastically. "What… you had to sing him a lullaby before coming back in?"

"_What the hell _dad? No wonder he thinks you hate him… is this how you talk to him when I'm not around?" Dean demanded after he stormed over to his dad and stood nose to nose with him.

Dean was totally unprepared for the shove that sent him slamming into the wall next to the bathroom; the corner of the wall hitting him in the middle of his back as it followed beside his spine. He couldn't help the groan that escaped as he slid down the wall. Dean closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing; it took him a second to realize his dad was holding his head up with a giant paw while trying to get Dean to talk to him. When the buzzing in his ears and the pain in his back died down enough for him to get a few breaths in he concentrated on what his dad was saying, "Dean… Dean… talk to me. I'm sorry… I didn't mean… I…"

Dean pushed his dad's hand away as he brushed a lone tear off his cheek, as he said between gritted teeth, "I'm fine." Slowly Dean made to stand but couldn't help groaning as he used the wall to push himself up.

John reached out and took hold of Dean and pulled him to his feet.

Another groan escaped as Dean stood; when he could stand on his own he pulled away from John as he told him, "I'll get mine and Sammy's bags. We're packed. I'll be in the car with my brother."

John nodded as he felt he had no right to demand anything from Dean at the moment. Dean was going to be sore and possibly be unable to help him with the hunt. He had no one to blame but himself… and Sammy. Why was Sammy always so much trouble? The only time Dean gave him hell was over Sammy. Sammy sure could be a pain in his ass.

He watched Dean laboriously grab one bag and sling it on his shoulder. He hissed with pain as he leaned down for his bag. Then he slowly made his way out the door.

John quickly gathered the rest of their things and set them by the door. Doing the routine once over, he grabbed a pair of Dean's socks from under the bed and a book of Sammy's from the chair at the table. Satisfied the room was clean he gathered the things he'd gathered and left the room closing the door behind him.

Glancing at the impala he noticed Dean was in the backseat with Sammy… figures. He walked to the back and opened the truck. Dean must have put their bags back with them so he wouldn't have to talk to him. _Well fuck that_, he thought walking over and opening the back door. Pulling out the bags he closed the door not saying anything. He did notice however that Sammy's head was in Dean's lap as Dean sat pushing Sammy's too long bangs back while he slept.

He dropped the boy's bags on top of everything then shut the trunk before he walked back to the room and opened the door to yank the other two pillows off his bed. He shut the door once again before he brought them back he opened Dean's door and gently pushed him forward to place a pillow at his lower back and then the other one above that then he pushed Dean gently back against them. He then squeezed Dean's shoulder slightly and when he looked at him, John gave him a slight nod.

Dean looked away. There was no way in hell he was going to let his dad see him cry. Or see the hurt and disappointment he was feeling towards him at the moment. So he looked at Sammy. He wondered if his dad did talk down to Sammy like that. Then he wondered what the hell he could do about it if he did…

Maybe Sammy being with Bobby was the best place for him… At that thought Dean bit back a sob because he really didn't want to loose Sammy. He was his last link to his mother; his last gift from her and his only chance to be a big brother. It was a job, his dad had drilled into him that taking care of Sammy was the most important job he had and now he wanted to push them apart. Separate them. Well, he loved his dad but he couldn't give up Sammy. He needed him; _they needed each other_. Dean closed his eyes as he kept his hand busy, alternating between brushing Sammy's bangs back and rubbing circles on his forehead something he did when Sammy was little to put him to sleep.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: Not mine… but ha… not yours either so it makes it easier for me to handle… LOL.

**NOTE#1**: I love all the wonderful reviews that everyone has been kind enough to leave for me to find! ;) Since I was so late posting last night... ending up being in the early am and I missed one day I am posting a second chapter today! Hope everyone enjoys!

Chapter 7

John watched the boys in the rearview mirror as he drove down the almost empty highway. Sammy was asleep and Dean appeared to be uncomfortable as he chewed on his bottom lip. John sighed; he'd fucked up with Dean. He'd gone too far and he hadn't meant to… it had all happened so quick; he hadn't even thought about it. He had just reacted. Now he was going to have to tread lightly to fix it.

Dean adjusted himself in the seat as he tried to get more comfortable while he bit his lip to hold back a moan when he moved the wrong way. Maybe he'd just stay at Bobby's with Sammy. Dad could do what ever the hell he wanted.

But Dean knew either way he'd be stuck worrying about one of them. It was like dad was on one scale and Sammy on the other and he was stuck holding them both up as he tried to keep them balanced… even and everyday it became harder and harder to do. Dad used to be so kind and just; but over time he was growing angry and cynical and they were the ones paying for it. It wasn't fair to Sammy to have to grow up this way. Maybe they could have more for themselves than this lifestyle as long as they didn't become bitter like their dad; overcome by vengenence.

He loved his mother. She was perfect, she had loved them with a sweetness that he remembered like those cheesy fairytale happy endings. There was no need for anything else when mom had been alive. They had lived in a normal house, had a normal family and a normal life. That had all ended… shit! Dean leaned back and closed his eyes. He didn't want to remember.

A tear slid down his cheek, _Fuck_! He wanted to swipe it away before Dad saw but he knew if he did then dad would be sure to notice and decide that it would be a good time to talk. To be honest he wasn't ready to forgive his dad yet. He turned his face towards the window away from his dad.

John sighed again as he watched Dean. How could he screw up so royally? He could see it with Sammy, he had to try so much harder to have a relationship with him. He loved him, he really did. But it seemed that it was just so much harder the second time around. Dean had been such a happy child, easy to raise and easy to love. Sammy was full of whys and how comes. Like he didn't trust his dad to raise him right.

Dean usually did what he asked without question only seemed to argue when it came to Sammy. He had stuck Dean with the responsibility of Sammy at age four and to now tell Dean to hand back the reins when he wanted them seemed to cause Dean to be rebellious. So they needed to spend time apart. To him it seemed like the only logical solution. Get Dean interested in other things so that getting Sammy to grow up and start to contribute to the family cause would not be so hard fought. If he could get Dean on his side that would be half the battle with Sammy. He knew that. It would be nice to have Dean back in his corner. Like old times. And maybe some alone time with his oldest would do just that; cementing the cause in Dean's head and strengthening their bond. He was certainly ready for that; now to convince Dean. With that solidly set in his mind he concentrated on the road to Bobby's place.

Hours later Dean woke slowly as he realized the car was no longer on the move. He sat up and involuntarily hissed at the pain that sliced down the middle of his back. Dad sure knew how to pack a shove. It still hurt like a mother to move. He decided he must have bruised his back when he hit the corner. Well wasn't that going to suck trying to run around the woods and chase badies. He might really have to stay with Sammy and that would leave dad solo unless he could get Pastor Jim or Caleb to help and still he would feel guilty. He wished they could be normal but as the years went by and they came no closer to finding his mother's killer it seemed more like a dream every year. Like he'd never had normal… that was an illision; a place he escaped to in his dreams. He doubted anyone could understand that when half the time he himself couldn't make it make sense.

John opened the driver's door and climbed in. After he shut the door he turned around to face Dean. "I got you some pain pills. You need to take one; see if it helps if not let me know and I'll give you another one." He said while he opened the bottle and pulled out a pill, "Here." He said as he handed Dean the pill and a pepsi to wash it down with.

Dean took it and as he looked at it, "Is this thing going to knock my ass out?" he asked while he turned it over in his hands.

"Probably." John chuckled as he watched Dean. As he saw Dean frown he told him firmly, "Take it. That's an order."

Dean asked instead, "Did you get meds for Sammy as well?"

"Dean." John frowned at him as he glanced suggestively at the pill.

"Fine." Dean growled.

John smiled when Dean took the pill swallowed it with the pepsi and handing the rest back to his dad.

After John took the soda back Dean asked again, "Did you get anything for Sammy?"

"I will stop once we hit Souix Falls and get stuff. I thought Sammy might want to pick out his own soup." John said but to be honest he hadn't really thought about it.

"Chicken noodle soup." Dean stated firmly.

"What?" John asked as he backed out of the parking spot.

"Get him chicken noodle soup." Dean stated again.

"That's what he likes?" John asked as he started out of the parking lot.

"That's what he's getting. He'll eat it." Dean said as he watched his dad's face in the rearview mirror.

John went through a myriad of expressions before he finally said, "Dean you need to let him make his own choices. You can't keep babying him."

"How the hell is that babying him?" Dean snapped feeling an overwhelming sense of aggravation.

"Dean, don't use that tone with me boy." John snapped right back.

"But…" Dean started but was interrupted by John.

"Just go back to sleep, Dean." John said wearily.

"I'm not tired." Dean stated but mucked it up with a yawn.

"Yeah, I can see that. Go to sleep. We can argue when you wake up." John glanced back at Dean to see him grin.

"Ok, sounds like a plan." Dean replied as he settled back against the pillows and the seat and leaned his head back as he closed his eyes.

John watched Dean until he was snoring softly in the backseat, hand still tangled in Sammy's hair as Sammy still slept in Dean's lap.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine… BUT it's not my fault they leave the sandbox unguarded… I was only going to peak, not touch… BUT again… no guards… so I might have taken advantage and played a little hard with them, BUT I gave them back. That should count for something. Right?

**NOTE#1**: Thank you so much for the awesomely uplifting reviews! Love them, adore them! Thanks as well for the favs and alerts!

Chapter 8

Sammy suddenly shot straight up as he cried out, "Dean!" at the same time he held out a hand in front of him as if reaching for Dean in his dream.

Dean grabbed Sammy across the front of his chest just below the collar bone, resting his hand on Sam's right triceps as he pulled him back against him. He soothingly told Sammy, "I gotcha little brother. It's ok."

Sammy continued to struggle as he continued to reach out for the Dean in his dream.

"Sammy," Dean said a little louder as he used his other hand to reach around and push back Sammy's bangs.

Sammy instantly stilled when he leaned back against Dean as he asked in a shaky voice, "D?"

"What was up with that, Sammy?" Dean asked as he continued to hold his little brother snugly against himself. "Nightmare?" Dean guessed.

"I… I…" Sammy started to say and then seemed to deflate further as he said softly, "don't 'member."

Dean frowned as he held Sammy close; this was just another reason to stay with Sammy instead of going with their dad.

Sammy looked towards the front seat. "Where's dad?" Sammy asked, secretly glad their dad wasn't in the car to witness him freaking out.

"In the store, getting you chicken noodle soup and 7up." Dean stated and waited for the response he knew was coming.

"Ewh, Dean… do I have to?" Sammy whined… _he didn't want soup_.

"You know the rules, Sammy. You puke… I feed you chicken noodle soup." Dean stated as Sammy sagged even more against him which let him know that Sammy had finally accepted he was eating soup.

"Bro, it's just until you quit puking… then I'll have Bobby cook all your favorites. Deal?" Dean asked as he moved his legs into a more comfortable position.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Sammy asked sadly.

"Dad says just the one case. I don't know… a week? Maybe two?" Dean said hesitantly as he tried to gauge Sammy's reaction by his movements.

Sammy sighed before he stated softly, "I don't want you to forget me…" and then he chewed on his lip. _Shit,_ he really wished he'd kept his big mouth shut he thought silently.

Dean chuckled as he replied, "Like I could ever do that." he ruffled Sammy's hair with the hand he had used just seconds before to move Sammy's bangs back as he continued, "You're my Sammy, bitch."

Sammy turned and impulsively hugged Dean his arms encircled his big brother as he squeezed.

Dean tried not to but apparently the pain medicine was wearing off because he couldn't help the hiss of pain that escaped.

Sammy instantly let go and his face scrunched up as he questioned Dean, "What happened? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I…" Dean looked out the window; he hated lying to Sammy but he really didn't want the hard feelings between Sammy and Dad if he told him the truth so he looked back at Sammy and grinned as he asked, "You know how you trip over your feet?"

Sammy turned pink but nodded while he waited for Dean to finish.

"Well, apparently so do I… trip over my feet, not yours…" Dean was trying to be funny so that Sammy would feel that nothing serious had happened so he continued, "but if you give me a minute I could probably manage that too." Dean grinned at Sammy's giggle.

Sammy shook his head as he commented, "I never see you fall."

"Cause I'm just that good. I'm talented enough to fall when no ones around to witness my embarrassing moments." Dean lied but Sammy needed to not worry about the things that were not his fault.

The front driver's door opened and John tossed a couple of bags of groceries into the passenger seat as he commented, "I still don't see why we couldn't wait till Sioux Falls to get this… he can't eat it until we get to Bobby's anyway." Then he glanced behind him and noticed both of them were awake.

"Oh, hey Sammy… feeling better?" John asked as he picked the bags off the seat and placed them on the floorboard.

"Dean's in pain, why?" Sammy asked immediately.

John looked up startled into the mirror and his eyes met Deans' as he started to reply, "I didn't…"

"Dad feels guilty because I fell and he wasn't able to stop it, huh? Cause you were outside loading the car." Dean said quickly, as he tried to let his dad know he covered for him.

Sammy looked back and forth between them. Dean was lying he was sure of it, _but why_?

"Let's get this show on the road, boys. The sooner we get there…" At that point John stopped himself before he finished his sentence and drove the car silently out of the parking lot.

Sammy sullenly folded his arms across his chest as he finished John statement for him, "The sooner you can get rid of me." Then he turned towards the seat and folded himself into a ball.

Dean placed a hand on Sammy's shoulder, "Come on, Sammy… it's not like that. _Tell him dad_." He said as urged his dad to convince Sammy.

John glanced at Dean before sighing as he told Sammy, "We aren't trying to get rid of you. If we were we wouldn't come back."

"Dad!" Dean snapped with a glare that flew across the seat directly to his dad, "_That's not helping_."

"Dean, he's not two. He needs to realize _sooner_ than later the world doesn't revolve around him and his hurt feelings." John snapped as he concentrated on driving, effectively ending the conversation.

Sammy had curled into an even smaller ball and cried softly into his arms that he'd wrapped tightly around his knees.

Dean squeezed Sammy's shoulder and tightened his grip as Sammy tried to pull away.

Dean grimaced silently as he leaned towards Sammy to say gently for Sammy only, "I can't be a big brother without you and I love my job. I think I'm damn good at it, _don't you_?"

Sammy spun around and told Dean, "You're the best big brother ever!"

"Well, there you go… would the best big brother ever abandon his baby brother?" Dean asked as he watched Sammy's face.

Sammy shook his head vigorously no.

John sighed as he stated loudly, "You boys about done trying out for chick hood?"

They looked at each other and grinned as they said in unison, "We love you, too, dad."

"Ornery little shits." john said with a grin as he started driving once again towards Bobby's salvage.

After a few hours of silence, a handing over of another pain pill after, of course, Sammy had fallen asleep and the car was silent as both boys once again dozed in the backseat. John had the radio down low to where he could barely hear it himself, just briefs snatches here and there. A couple more hours and they would be at the yard and he could relax a little. Then he could decide if he would take Dean or leave him with Sammy. He really wanted him along on this one. He wanted that time to renew their bond. He missed the closeness he once shared with Dean.

He looked back in the mirror at the boys. He wasn't as close to Sam. He hated to admit it, but he'd only had the first six months with him and then he'd felt like the moment Mary died he'd started to shut his heart down. It wasn't Sam's fault… he wasn't responsible. But all the same it was what it was.

It was just that he was spending more and more of his time on the bad things out there that more often than he'd like to admit he forgot what was right there in the backseat; snoring in harmony with each other.

He grinned. After this hunt he'd make it up to Sammy and Dean. Spend a little down time just them… maybe hang out with Bobby and forget the bad for a little bit. With that decided he turned the music up and listened to what was playing '_Carry on my_…

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: Let's do a sandbox raid! I know… just ruin it for me… that won't make them ours… (Pouting in the corner of the sandbox)

**NOTE#1**: Thanks to all the readers and the R&R's out there! I really appreciate the effort you take to review! It's very uplifting to the spirit! Thanks as well to the favs and alerts!

Chapter 9

As John pulled into Singer Salvage and drove up the long driveway there was a weight lifted off his chest that John was surprised to realize had even been there. He was tired and felt drained for some reason he had no explanation for. He sighed with relief when he finally stopped in front of the house.

Bobby's dog just stared not bothering to bark when he seemed to recognize the car. When John roused the boys awake they grinned at each other and Sammy scrambled out of the car and ran straight for the dog.

"Sammy, stop." John started to say but stopped when the dog tackled him to the ground. Dean was standing beside him by that time and pushed the gun that John had drawn and pointed at the dog down towards the ground.

"Dad, Thor remembers us… look." Dean pointed as Sammy stood only to be knocked down again and licked by the giant rotty. "Besides I don't see Uncle Bobby being too happy if you take out his dog."

"No, I wouldn't." Bobby commented as he watched Sammy and Thor from the porch.

John grinned as he said with a smile, "Bobby."

Bobby smiled back as he commented, "Dean, you want to go see if you can help your brother get away from that worthless mutt."

"I thought you said you'd be upset…" Dean started as he too grinned at Bobby.

"You boys have ruined him. You two could rob me blind and that dog would roll over for a belly rub… _plum worthless_. Come on in, John… I think the boys will be a little while." Bobby said, turning to walk back into the house. "The puppies are out back with their mother Jezza." He mentioned over his shoulder at the boys.

John grinned at Bobby before he looked Dean over critically, "Be careful with that back, boy. Pain pill wearing off yet?"

Dean shook his head as he lied, "Naw, I'm good."

John frowned at him before he turned and followed Bobby into the house.

Dean took another step toward Sammy and Thor but not close enough for the dog to knock him down. "Did you hear Uncle Bobby? Jezza had puppies with Thor. I bet their huge…" Dean commented at the top of Sammy's head.

Sammy scrambled up and away from Thor as he asked, "Jezza?"

Dean smiled as he replied, "You remember the last time we were here? He got her. Jezebel... dude, the girl was a terror."

Sam's eyes widened as he remembered, "I don't like her."

"She liked you." Dean smirked as he retorted.

"Yeah," Sammy mumbled, "For lunch."

Dean laughed as he grabbed Sammy by the arm and pulled him towards the front door. "Sammy come on then, I bet Uncle Bobby made cookies since he knew we were coming." He waited a few seconds for Sammy to comment then added, "Cookies, Sammy… and probably pie." Dean continued as he thought about what Bobby kept around the house when they were there. "I'm starving Sammy… come on, dude."

"jerk." Sammy said with a smile as he finally said something.

"Don't test me, bitch." Dean said with a return grin. Dean didn't want to admit it, but his back was starting to ache once again with the intensity that made him want to chew a hole through his bottom lip.

Sammy placed his arm through Dean's as he told Dean softly, "If it hurts too much, lean on me. I'm strong enough to hold you." It looked to him like Dean's back was causing him alot of pain.

Dean tried to not lean on Sammy all that much, just enough for him to feel helpful, but he was hurting alot more than he cared to admit by the time they made it to the kitchen.

Dean grinned as he gingerly sat down at the table, "See Sammy, what I tell you… pies and cookies. Thanks, Uncle Bobby." Dean yelled towards the living room where John and Bobby were talking and drinking beer.

"Sure thing, Dean. Knew you'd be starving when you got here." Bobby replied and then resumed what he was saying to John.

A few seconds later John yelled at them from the other room, "Change of plans, since we came early, we're staying the night." Then went back to his other conversation.

The boys smiled at each other, _Good old Bobby_. They knew why they were staying the night Bobby had talked their Dad into it.

Sammy looked at Dean suspiciously as he told him, "I thought you wanted me to eat chicken noodle soup."

"Sit down, Sammy. Maybe one cookie, if you eat all your soup. Deal?" Dean asked as he watched Sammy sit down and stare at the pies and cookies. "Then if you want, we'll go see the puppies." Dean saw Sammy shiver slightly as he turned away to look out the kitchen window.

"Sammy, you okay? Feeling nauseous again?" Dean guessed.

Sammy nodded as he looked from the window to Dean and told him quietly, "I think I'm gonna lay down for a little while."

Dean stopped shoveling pie in his mouth as he asked, "Come here and let me feel your head."

"Gross D, chew your food first. Seriously, man." Sammy grinned as he told Dean about his bad habit of saying whatever he needed not caring if his mouth was full or not.

Dean opened his mouth wider and grinned before he turned serious and lay down his fork as he gestured in the _come here now gimme_ gesture.

Sammy rolled his eyes as he muttered crankily, "I was just gonna lay down D…"

"You're turning down cookies and pies… cherry and apple pies, dude… seriously… and the cookies, nuts and chocolate chip… bitch, their awesome…" Dean commented as he reached for his brother.

"Dean what'd I say. Watch your mouth." John called from the living room.

"Can't watch mine… but I can watch Sammy's… will that work Dad?" Dean said in a smartass tone.

"Fine." John stated not missing a beat, "Sammy… you watch Dean's" and then went back to talking to Bobby.

Sammy snickered as he went over for Dean to check him for fever.

Dean stated after checking Sammy, "Don't think you have one now… I'll bring you up some soup in a couple of hours, okay?"

"I can do it myself, D… your back." Sammy started only to be interrupted by Dean.

"My back is fine. You are the one that's sick." Dean stated firmly.

Sammy paled as he thought about how he was lying to Dean. _His brother _who always looked out for him. _His brother _who would never understand what he was doing.

Dean noticed the change in color on Sammy's face and stood quickly and was instantly at Sammy's side, "What's the matter? Are you going to hurl again?"

Sammy looked at Dean and felt the tears come. He had to get out before Dean saw or even worse… Dad.

He turned and raced upstairs and into the bathroom. Locking the door behind him he squeezed himself between the sink and the bathtub. Curling up he tried not to cry but in the morning Dean was leaving. He really didn't want to be alone in their room. It was scary to be here without Dean. He tried to be brave, but he'd always had Dean until Dad decided he needed Dean as a partner in the hunt instead of taking care of Sammy. Leaving him alone. _He didn't like alone_. He knew Bobby would be here, but it still wasn't the same. He knew though what would get them to take him back. Now he just had to man up and do it. Wasn't that what dad always said?

Sammy heard a soft knock at the door and knew it would be Dean. He sniffled before he cleared his throat and asked, "Yeah?"

"You want to let me in?" Dean's voice sounded funny to Sammy.

Sammy stood and walked slowly over to the door. "Dean…"

"Sammy, open the door. I really don't feel like walking all the way back down stairs to get the key from Bobby." Dean said tiredly. After a few seconds he turned to do just that when he heard the lock turn.

Dean tried the knob and then he opened the door to find Sammy standing there with a look of defeat.

"Sammy…" Dean sighed as he stepped in to the bathroom.

"What?" Sammy asked as he took a step back.

"Tell me what you're keeping from me." Dean demanded in a gentle tone as he closed the door behind him.

"I…" Sammy paled once again before he said to the vicinity of Dean's chest, "I'm not keeping anything from you."

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**: I just wish they were mine! **But** I'd only be distracted by all the maintenance of keeping Winchester boys happy… _what a job that would be_… I wouldn't have time to write… so it is better this way…. (Sniffle)

**NOTE#1**: To all my fellow Sandbox Raiders: Thanks for the R&R's! Love the reviews! Thanks too for favs and alerts!

Chapter 10

Sammy turned his back to Dean as he slumped his shoulders in defeat while he murmured, "Don't make me lie to you."

Dean blinked a couple of times before he told his brother in a blunt tone, "I think you ought to think about that before you do."

Sammy turned and stared at Dean while he tilted his head to the side as he told him, "I have. So don't ask and I won't have to lie to you."

Dean sighed and gave Sammy a look of disappointment before he turned to open the door. With his hand on the partially opened door he mumbled, "You can trust me Sammy. I thought you knew that by now." and then he pulled the door the rest of the way open as he left the bathroom and Sammy behind him to walk slowly down the hall to their room.

_He knew Sammy_ and he would follow behind him shortly.

He went into the bedroom and was shocked to feel the familiarity of it. Bobby had given them that room years before as something of their own. A place they would always have to come back to. They were allowed to decorate with what ever they wanted and leave whatever there and it was always there when they came back. _It was awesome_.

He wandered over to his bed, the one closest to the window and sat down to wait.

He sniffed as he looked down he realized that he had fresh linens on the bed; Bobby always tried to make them feel like they were welcome. Having the beds made up; if they gave him advance notice and their cookies and pies as well as their favorites in the meals he cooked for them.

Right on cue Sammy wandered in looking sheepish as he glanced at Dean then quickly away. He came in and sat down on his bed as he concentrated on the rip in his tennis shoe.

After several minutes Dean cleared his throat as he asked his little brother, "So, are we going to talk about this?" He watched Sammy's body language until he could see his face.

Sammy shook his head no but still didn't look up.

"Sammy… I can't help you if you won't talk to me." Dean continued to watch his little brother and then he sighed as he told Sammy, "I guess it's a good thing Dad needs me, 'cause I guess you're doing good on your own." Dean knew he shouldn't be mean but he was trying to get Sammy to talk to him.

Sammy sat stunned for a few seconds then he looked up at Dean with a heartbroken expression and a trembling lip as he said, "Yeah, I guess so." Then Sammy turned and threw himself on the bed.

He couldn't win… he was going to loose Dean either way. If he told him, Dean would get mad and Dean _was_ already mad because he wouldn't. He tried to cry silently so Dean couldn't hear when he heard Dean sigh again. He tried to curl up into a tiny ball and hide his face. He felt the bed dip and Dean was sitting beside him as he placed his hand on Sammy's quivering back.

"Sammy." Dean said softly as he kept his hand firmly on Sammy's back.

Sammy froze and tried not to move a muscle.

"Sammy, I know you're awake. So, sit up and talk to me…" Dean was about to take out the big guns, "My back is killing me dude."

Sammy immediately sat up as he looked at Dean anxiously, doing the intake of signs with his eyes. _Chewing the lip_. Check. _Pale_. Check_. Slightly sweaty_. Check. _Frown_. Check. Course the frown was probably _his fault_. _Barely breathing to control movement_. Check. Sammy jumped off the bed and stumbled barely able to catch himself before he fell and then turned as he asked, "Where is your medicine?"

"Dad has it. Thanks Sammy." Dean lay down on Sammy's bed and waited for Sammy to return.

Sammy tripped on the last three steps and fell on his knees hard, "Shit!" He snapped as he scrambled to his feet as he yelled back upstairs, "I'm fine Dean." _Because he knew Dean_. He'd come to check on him and since he was in pain, Sammy wanted him to stay where he was.

He raced into the living room and stumbled to a halt as his Dad said in a slightly sarcastic tone, "I see your feeling better."

Sammy nodded as he told him, "Dean back is hurting real bad." John raised an eyebrow but didn't reply so Sammy continued. "Dad, he says he needs a pill and asked me to come get it. That means it's bad! Can I get one for him?" Sammy asked as he wiggled from one foot to the other in impatience.

John immediately stood as he sat his beer down on the end table. "I'll get the pills and your bags while you get him some water. Go ahead and wait for me upstairs."

Sammy nodded as he raced to the kitchen.

As he grabbed a cup he was startled when Bobby laid a hand on his shoulder, "How you feeling, boy? Dean said you were sick."

"I'm fine. Dean's back…" Sammy started as he turned off the water from filling the cup with tap water.

"Yes but Dean ate earlier. Well, pie and cookies. Your plate was clean. Looked like you didn't eat. I may have made the pies for Dean, but I made the cookies for you." Bobby asked as he watched Sammy.

Sammy searched frantically for a way out. "Dean says I can't have any until I stop puking and then I can have one."

"When has that ever stopped you boy?" Bobby asked with a frown as he stared at Sammy. Something was off with the boy. He wasn't sure what, but something was. He'd bet his Bo Derek Poster down in the panic room on it.

"I got to beat dad upstairs or he'll be pissed at me." With that said Sammy dashed out of the room. He really hoped to beat dad there but he had used the excuse to get away from Uncle Bobby.

He thought about the cookies on the way back to the room. He really, really wanted them. He wanted more than one. Uncle Bobby had made them for him. He should get to have at least one. But he hadn't had a chance to start his training yet. Maybe he should… his thoughts were interrupted as he stepped into the room and found his dad glaring at him from Dean's bed.

"What took you so long? Have to stop and eat the plate of cookies, maybe wash it down with a couple of glasses of milk?" John snapped because he was angry at himself for causing this whole mess with Dean and angry at Sammy for once again not following orders.

Sammy looked at Dean quickly, who appeared to be asleep. He had a fleeting thought that if Dean had been in a lot of pain, how was he sleeping?

Then his attention snapped back to his dad when his father growled, "Well answer me boy."

"About what, sir?" Sammy asked because he wasn't sure if his dad had asked him something else or if he was still waiting for an answer on the first question.

"Sammy." John snarled as his anger rose he stood up.

Sammy took an involuntary step back and bumped into something. Surprised he glanced quickly back to see Bobby there. He turned bright red with embarrassment that someone else had witnessed John's apparent dislike for him.

Bobby laid a hand on Sammy's shoulder to calm him as he addressed John. "The boy refused the cookies _I offered _saying he needed to get the water up here quickly for Dean. I kept him in the kitchen trying to convince him to eat. That's not the boy's fault." Then he squeezed Sammy's shoulder in silent support.

"Bobby this is between the boy and me." John snapped in anger at Bobby.

"_The boy_ tried. I explained what happened. I think maybe you need to go sleep it off and Sammy and I will get Dean his meds."

"Bobby this ain't your business." John said with a little more growl.

"I beg to differ since this is my house you currently have your ass planted in." Bobby said with a smile because John's attitude had no affect on him. He just didn't give a shit, that in its self could be a very liberating feeling.

John sat the pills on the nightstand as he told them, "One pill… if he wakes up in pain in the next couple hours, he can have one more then nothing for 6 hours." Then he walked past Bobby and Sammy without saying anything else.

Sammy looked back at Bobby and asked softly, "Why does he hate me? Is it because I got my mom killed?"

Bobby looked fiercely at him as he spun Sam around and placed both hands on his shoulders and leaned down enough to be eye to eye with him. "You had nothing to do with that, you hear me? Your dad has just been drinking a little too much and not sleeping. Makes for a bastard of a cranky shit for brains attitude. He'll sleep it off and I'll discuss it with him in the morning. He doesn't mean it… It's just a stupid defense mechanism he shouldn't be using with his kids."

"Sammy?" Dean mumbled sleepily.

Sammy got a panic look on his face, but Bobby shook his head slightly and stood up as he let go of Sammy. Sammy flashed him a grateful smile and spun around almost spilling the forgotten glass of water.

Dean tried to sit up but hissed in pain and fell back against the mattress with a muttered _shit_.

Sammy sat the glass down on the nightstand and helped Dean sit up as he fluffed a pillow he then lifted Dean forward and placed it behind him. Turning he got a pill out and then replaced the cap and set it back down. Sam picked up the water as he turned back and held out both to Dean. "Take this and call me in the morning…" He grinned.

Dean frowned as he mumbled, "What?"

Sammy smiled as he told him, "Never mind."

Sammy looked over to where Bobby had been and was surprised to find him gone.

Dean smiled as he took the pill and handed a nearly empty glass back to Sammy. He sighed, "I don't suppose you'd feel like getting me some more water?" and he lay back against the pillows. Sinking slowly down Dean sighed as he mumbled, "Just tired, Sammy."

"Sure… I'll be right back." As he hurried from the room he hoped Dad had already gone to bed because he really didn't want to face him again so soon.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer**: I want I want I want to play in the sand of Winchesterland… yes… shhhhh… I know they don't belong to me… shhhh I'm trying to concentrate… fine… not mine. Happy now? (smile)

**NOTE#1**: To all my fan fiction pals: Thanks so much for all the wonderful encouragement and witty comments, Love them! I'm glad to be a part of this fan fiction community! Thanks for the favs and alerts 2!

Chapter 11

He tried to go quietly and quickly so his dad wouldn't see him. He made it to the kitchen without being stopped and snarled at; he counted that as a plus. He turned the water on and filled the glass once again. As he turned and started back towards the stairs he saw the plate of cookies.

Sammy stopped and stared at the huge platter of cookies his favorites… Bobby had made them for him._ He really wanted a cookie_. He was really hungry _in fact _it felt like he was starving. He chewed his lip as he walked over to stand beside the table. Now he could not only see them but he could smell them as well. He blinked a couple of times as his hand snaked out and touched one. As soon as his hand connected he jerked his hand back as if burned by the contact. His breath quickened as he looked around to make sure no one was there to see him. He felt a little like he was stealing even though they were made for him.

Sammy slowly reached out once again and took a cookie. He brought up to under his nose and sniffed. His mouth instantly started to water. He practically threw it back on the plate. _He couldn't_. He didn't want to get fatter. He turned away from the table only to take two steps and turn back around and lunge at the table. He grabbed a hand full of them and then he raced up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom.

After he sat the glass down on the counter he looked at the handful of cookies and thought about throwing them away. But the closer he got to the trashcan the more his stomach growled. _Maybe one_? He laid the wad of crumbling cookies on the counter and picked up a crumb, sticking it slowly in his mouth… _holy shit_… that was good.

Before he'd really blinked the rest were gone. He'd eat all of them. He felt sick at that realization. No wonder he was a fat slob. He felt so ashamed. What was wrong with him?

He walked over to the toilet and looked down. If he threw up now… it would cancel out eating it, wouldn't it? He stuck his finger down his throat until he gagged. After what seemed forever he felt like he'd thrown all of it back up. Nothing else was coming up. He still felt he had to try one last time.

A soft knock came to the door as Dean asked quietly, "You okay? Sounds like you're puking up your guts there can't be anything left…" Dean tried the knob. "Sammy?"

Sammy looked around in a panic as he thought frantically _he couldn't get caught, he just couldn't let Dean see this_. He grabbed a towel and swiped at the crumbs on the counter. Throwing it aside he looked in the mirror. He quickly wiped off his mouth with his sleeve as he snaked his other hand out to flush the toilet.

"Sammy…" Dean's tone had changed which meant he had about two seconds to open the door or Dean would. With his foot and that would piss off Dad and Bobby. Besides Dean was hurt and doing that would only hurt Dean more.

Sammy opened the door just as Dean was lifting his foot.

Dean slowly placed his foot back on the floor as he looked worriedly at his brother. "Sammy I thought you were feeling better?" Dean questioned as he looked Sammy over from head to toe.

"I was but…" Sammy said with a shrug as he shoved Dean's water into his hand and slid past him for the bedroom.

Dean quickly snagged an arm and swung Sammy back around. "_TELL _me you're really okay?" He asked as he stared deep into his eyes.

Sammy felt the tears well up so he looked away and took a couple of deep breaths before he looked back to stare Dean in the eye, "I'm okay Dean…" When Dean didn't look convinced he tried again, "Really, D." Once again he tried to walk away from Dean.

"Sammy, I'm telling dad I'm staying besides my back still hurts like a mother." Dean told him solemnly and then he released Sammy's arm.

Sammy spun back around to face Dean as he snapped, "I am Sam, _not Sammy_… If you don't go Dad will get mad at me. He says I need to grow up… how can I do that if you won't let me?"

Dean dropped his hand away as he stared at Sammy the hurt evident in his eyes and on his face.

Sammy bit his lip as he turned and raced towards their room.

Dean stood there wondering if maybe he was holding Sammy back… He hadn't been meaning to but maybe his own need to make sure he kept a promise he made when he was four was standing in Sammy's way. _Priority One _his whole life had always been to keep Sammy safe. Now both Sammy and Dad wanted it to stop. So suddenly he was supposed to flip a switch and stop. Stop doing what was engrained in him now as automatic as breathing.

He scrubbed a hand over his face as he wondered what to do from here. He closed his eyes as he made his decision. He would do what they both wanted. He would be Dad's right hand man and back the fuck off. He turned with sudden anger and punched the wall. _But he'd be damned if he had to like it_.

When he finally went back to the room Sammy was laying on his back with an arm slung across his eyes. Dean stood in the doorway a few seconds before he walked over to Sammy and pulled his arm away from his face. Apparently he really was asleep. Dean frowned as he leaned closer, _Shit_… it looked like Sammy had cried himself to sleep. He needed to talk… _fuck_… **I'm not going**… Dean sighed then continued silently in his head, _it's not my business anymore. They have both made that more than clear._

He went over to his bottle of pills and took another pain pill with the water still in his hand and lay down to go to sleep.

The next morning Dean was shaken awake by his father.

Dean looked at him sleepily.

John looked at Dean assessing his condition, "You ready to load up?"

Dean frowned as he snapped, "I just got woke up by you, what do you think?"

John grinned as he told Dean, "smartass. Ready in five…" and he stood up.

"Why do you suddenly have a fire under your ass?" Dean asked his dad.

"Another couple hikers went missing, Caleb just called." John told him with a hint of excitement at the thought of the chase.

Dean grinned as he told his dad, "So you don't need me."

"Yes I do. It's a four man job. You, me, Caleb and he called Jim in. They are already there. So we need to get on the road." John told him firmly.

"Are you sure I won't be in the way? With my back…" Dean began as he tried to find a way out of going without actually saying he didn't want to go.

John looked away guiltily before he turned back and said, "I think you can keep up."

Dean nodded and sat up. He looked around at Sammy. Sammy was awake, _he knew that_. But he also knew that Sammy didn't want their dad to know he was awake.

But both Sammy and Dad wanted him to distance himself he reminded himself. So he stood and walked out of the room not speaking to either one of them again. He wanted desperately to run back in and say goodbye or hell even stay behind with Sammy. He sighed as he looked back towards the bedroom before he went into the bathroom and shut the door. Locking it he leaned against it, _he had to go_. He'd take the pain pills to make him mobile and he'd pretend that he wasn't spending the whole time worrying about what was wrong with Sammy and why he wouldn't talk to him.

He pulled his toothbrush out of the cabinet. They both had stuff like that here in the upstairs bathroom, it made it a lot more convenient when dad forgot to leave stuff here for them when he dropped them off at Bobby's and took off without getting out of the car.

Dad rapped sharply twice on the door, "Get the lead out Dean, we're out in five." Then he heard his dad stomp down the hall.

Dean brushed his teeth and decided maybe it was time to grow up and be more like Dad. That seemed to be what everyone wanted. So no more babying his baby brother. No more making sure he brushed his teeth, did his homework, ate his dinner and got enough sleep. _Dean would be responsible for Dean_.

He sighed as he put away his toothbrush and leaned against the sink, looking in the mirror… _Who was he if he wasn't the protector anymore? Where did he fit in if he wasn't Sammy's big brother? Sammy didn't want him around anymore for the job._

"Dean. Move your ass, boy!" John bellowed from downstairs obliviuos to his oldest's turmoil.

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: Darn it all… I know they aren't mine… So, I'll have to settle for sandbox raiding… (pout)

**NOTE#1**: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! Love them, adore them… don't want to live without them! LOL thank ya'll! Thanks for the favs and alerts 2!

Chapter 12

Dean chewed his lip because he wanted nothing more than to go to Sammy and beg him _to want him _to stay. _How stupid was that_? He was fifteen for god's sake, not two. Sammy wanted him to walk away… _he was walking_. He didn't have to like it he reminded himself as he turned and walked out of the bathroom to proceed down the hall. He didn't look back at the bedroom which housed his baby brother because _He could do this _he told himself repeatedly as he walked down the stairs.

Sammy waited until he heard both of them leave and then opened his eyes. _Boy_, Dean was really mad at him. But he knew after dad went downstairs Dean would come back and they could apologize to each other before Dean had to leave. Dean never left mad because they always talked everything out. Dean was good about that.

He heard dad at the bathroom door. A little bit later he heard him bellow from downstairs for Dean to hurry. A few minutes later he heard Dean open the bathroom door. _Any minute now_, Sammy thought as he smiled slightly. After a few minutes he began to wonder where Dean was. He hadn't heard him walk towards the bedroom so where was he?

He was shocked into motion when he heard the impala rumble to life. He dashed to the window and shoved the curtain aside as he searched for Dean. Dean was just about to open the passenger door when he must have sensed Sammy and looked up at their bedroom window. Dean didn't smile or wave he just climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door.

Sammy stared down in shock. _This never happened_. He dropped the curtain and dashed for the door. _He would apologize_ he thought frantically as he raced down the stairs tripping over his foot on the last one. Scrambling to his feet he stumbled to the front door. As he pulled it open he was just in time to see them leave in a cloud of dust. _He wanted to cry_. He hung his head as he stumbled back towards the stairs. He limped up the stairs and went back to the window in his room to see the last bits of the dust cloud settle back down as the roar of the impala's engines died away.

_He couldn't believe it_, Dean had left him without saying goodbye. Dad he expected it from but never Dean. Tears slid down his cheeks as he wondered if he'd lost Dean forever. He'd known Dean was mad but he never expected this. What if he had pushed Dean so far away that he wouldn't come back?

He ran over to Dean's bed and fell on it burying his face in the pillow to cry so Bobby wouldn't hear him. Sometime later when Bobby came to check on him he was asleep having cried himself that way previously.

Bobby worried that not waking him up would highly upset Sammy and had requested John to go ahead and wake the boy. John had refused saying it was better for Sammy to rest and they would call later from the motel to talk to him. Bobby had glared and John had ignored him as he climbed into the car. Bobby had wondered about Dean. He hadn't said a word just looked up at their bedroom window and then looked away to stare out the passenger window. Something weird was definitely going on. He turned to leave the room when he saw an envelope on the side table addressed to himself not Sammy… _absolutely weird_. He picked it up and walked out.

Taking it downstairs to his desk he opened it as he sat down. It was written in Dean's _I'm in a hurry don't let anyone catch me writing this_ handwriting.

_Bobby,_

_Please watch after Sammy. They both want me to give Sammy room to grow up… So I am, but I can't help it. I'm worried about Sammy. Something is off with him and he ain't talking to me._

_Dean_

Bobby frowned as he put away the note. Dean thought Sammy didn't want him around and John wanted… _who the hell knew _what John wanted these days. He seemed to be getting more obsessed with the hunt and less worried about the boys. He'd seen it happen to many a man but really never thought he'd see it take over John Winchester.

He moved towards the stairs as he heard Sammy moving around upstairs. At the bottom of the stairs he yelled up, "Boy, why don't you get a quick shower and I'll start breakfast. How's bacon and eggs with flapjacks and even gravy if you want?"

At the sudden silence Bobby stepped onto the bottom step. "Sam?"

"Fine, Bobby… sounds good." Came Sammy's muffled reply.

Bobby smiled and headed to the kitchen. He would make Sammy a great breakfast and then he would find Sammy a interesting text to entertain him for several hours.

Sammy sighed he wasn't hungry but he didn't want to argue with Bobby. So he would eat and then he could get rid of it later. When he'd made that decision it did make him feel better. He smiled as he walked in to take his shower. About half an hour later he trotted down the stairs with a smile on his face. He had a plan…

Bobby turned at all the noise Sammy was making. "Hey, boy. Looks like you're feeling better."

Sammy grinned back at him as he said, "Yep, after breakfast I thought I'd run the mile."

Bobby frowned as he told Sammy, "You're just getting over the flu. I don't know if that's such a good idea. Dean…"

Sammy glared at Bobby as he snapped, "I don't give a shit what Dean wants… or thinks… or… or… If he cared he'd have said goodbye. _So I don't care_." Sammy stated as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sammy, Dean…" Bobby started to explain about what Dean said in the letter when the phone rang. "You want to grab that for me, Sam?"

"Okay." Sammy agreed as he went over to the kitchen phone and grabbed the receiver off the wall, "Hello?"

"Where's Singer? And who is this?" asked a suspicious voice.

"At the stove at the moment." Sammy replied in a matter of fact tone.

"Tell him to get his ass over here to the phone I need to talk to him." The person demanded.

"Well, who is this?" Sammy asked.

"Listen you little shit…" The voice growled.

"Do you want me to hang up?" Sammy asked crankily.

"Tell him Marco Edell is on the phone, you brat." Marco snapped.

"Sure thing Marcus." Sammy agreed with a smile cause he'd picked up a few things from Dean along the way.

"It's Marco." Marco corrected.

"Hold on a sec, Marcus." Sammy covered the mouth piece as he told Bobby, "Marco Edell on the phone… demanding you come right now." Sammy told Bobby softly then moved his hand from covering the receiver.

"Tell Marcus I'm on my way." Bobby yelled with a smirk.

"Sure thing, Uncle Bobby." Sammy yelled back with a snicker and then spoke into the phone in a normal voice, "He's says he's on the way."

Marco cleared his throat as he said, "Hey kid, I didn't mean it earlier."

"What?" Sammy asked as he enjoyed the man's discomfort, "When you called me a little shit or when you called me a brat?"

He heard the man gulp as he replied, "I didn't know Singer had any nephews."

Sammy replied gleefully, "Yeah, he's got two."

Bobby took the phone from him and smiled down at him as he pointed at the stove and handed Sam the spatula.

Sammy grinned back at him as he told him, "Sure thing, _Uncle_ Bobby."

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: The Sandbox Raiders strike again… read all about it! Ok, _so what if it's all in my head_, don't care… its all for fun so what's the harm? Exactly… (Beaming smile)

**NOTE#1**: Thanks so much for all the encouraging, funny and interesting reviews I have received on my stories! You help make writing even more fun! As far as favs and alerts go, I love to see those lists grow too! Again thanks to the readers and to the reader /reviewers. Here's to all my new fan fiction friends! Hope you enjoy cheers! (Holding up my Pepsi one can in toast) Ok, sleep might help with my craziness... no, probably not (shakes head no) Smile, dude!

Chapter 13

After Bobby got off the phone he told Sammy with a grin, "I think you enjoyed that man's discomfort a little too much."

Sammy shrugged as he put the plates on the table while he replied, "Yeah, maybe."

"No maybe about it." Bobby laughed as he walked over to pick up the food and sit them on the table as well, "Sam, that bacon looks perfect."

"I'm awesome that way." Sammy said with a smile as he picked up his glass to take a drink.

"I have a question for you." Bobby said as he sat down and started to dish out the food.

"What's that?" Sammy asked after swallowing his sip of water.

"Well, Marco needs a couple of ingredients for a banishing he's working on. Apparently he's too lazy to go get them himself. He'd rather pay me for them and even extra to bring them to him… Do you want to ride along? Or would you rather stay here and watch TV or play with the dogs and read?" Bobby asked with a grin.

"Stay here? _By myself_? You'd let me?" He looked at Bobby's suspiciously before he asked. "How long would you be gone?"

"Well, it's about a two hour drive… then probably an hour to help him make it and then two hours back. So about five…" Bobby said calculating in his head.

"Sure… I can find something to do… _Oh_…" Sammy jumped up and raced out of the room.

Bobby chuckled as he wondered what Dean had been talking about because Sammy seemed fine. In fact he was getting over whatever bug he'd had.

Sammy came back into the room with a large book and held it out to Bobby. "Can I read this?"

"You want to read this? I figured it would be one of the forbidden ones." Bobby said in a serious tone as he sat down the spatula to take the book.

"Later after you leave." Sammy said with another grin.

"That's more like it. So, Dakota Haunts, huh? Sure…" He handed it back to Sam.

Bobby grabbed a piece of bacon and stood as he told Sammy, "I'm going to say I'll be back by 3 pm at the latest that gives me six hours. Work for ya boy?"

"Yep." Sammy said as he watched Bobby he sat the book on the table so he could follow his surrogate Uncle.

"You have Father Jim's number if you need anything." Bobby said absentmindedly as he made a mental list of the items he needed.

"I can't call him; him and Caleb are with Dad and Dean." Sammy stated as he watched Bobby move from place to place around the kitchen.

"Oh, then I'll call and check in every hour." Bobby said as he stopped in mid step to look at Sammy.

"Why don't you just call when you get to Edell's or when you go to leave?" Sammy asked as he tried to make it easier for Bobby.

Bobby said as he resumed his gathering up of needed items. "Follow me to the basement, I'll show you the herbs I have to take to him."

After they came back up from the basement Bobby told him seriously. "If someone shows up, you can let the dogs loose if you need to. They'll take care of the problem. Would you put away any leftovers or you could give them to the dogs, they would like that."

"Sure thing." Sam agreed as he followed Bobby to the front door. He locked it behind Bobby after he left. He watched until Bobby was out of sight and then wandered back towards the kitchen.

It was nice that Uncle Bobby trusted him enough to leave him alone in his house, but… _hello, creepy as hell_.

But Dean and Dad wanted him to grow up…

He sat down and felt like he could eat finally. No one was here to catch him. He smiled as he stuck as piece of bacon in his mouth. _Awh, yeah_ that was good. He chewed happily as he opened the book, careful not to get anything on it.

He reached for the spoon and filled his plate with eggs. As he sat the spoon down he looked at the flapjacks; he grabbed two then he shredded them and covered them in gravy. Taking a bite he groaned. It was good and he really was hungry. He ate the whole plateful in record time.

With a moan he looked at the empty plate, he would gain ten pounds from all that.

Suddenly he lurched to his feet and ran for the downstairs bathroom. He barely made it before he started to throw up. After a few minutes he finally stood up and backed away from the toilet until he was braced against the opposite wall.

As he stood there his chest heaving and tears running down his cheeks he wondered why he had to be the misfit. Why couldn't dad and Dean like him the way he was?

Was he really such a bad kid? _Apparently_ he answered himself, _he was bad enough to be dumped with anyone who would take him_.

He stepped forward and flushed the toilet. Looking around as he slowly headed upstairs to the bathroom where he kept his toothbrush and after brushing his teeth and putting it away; he washed his face. Drying his face he looked in the mirror and stared. _He was a misfit_! After a few seconds he threw the towel down in disgust. _He was such a loser_.

He probably was switched at birth and their perfect Sammy, _that was a carbon copy of Dean_, was wondering how the hell he ended up in a geek filled family that he didn't fit in with. _Well the Winchesters sure got the shitty end of the stick_, being stuck with him he thought as he stared at himself in the mirror.

He finally turned away from the mirror and ran down the hall down the stairs and out the back door.

He kept running. He wasn't sure how long he ran but he had circled around the salvage yard and had run deep into the bowels of the yard. He'd never even been in this section before and the cars were old and rusted out. He stopped and stared as he tried to catch his breath. He leaned on a rusted out car and ended up on his butt leaned up against a hunk of twisted metal.

Why wasn't he good enough?

He wished he had the Winchester kick ass and take names attitude that Dean had inherited from their father or even the looks that he'd inherited from their mother.

He looked at his watch as he realized two hours had passed. This meant he had at least three. He thought about hanging out where he was, but he had a thought hit him. What if Uncle Bobby called and he didn't answer. He would freakout.

He ran back towards the house or the direction he thought the house was in. Twenty five minutes later he finally stumbled back into the house.

Making it back into the kitchen, he fell into the nearest chair. As his breathing slowed he looked at the table. He was hungry again… He slowly picked up a piece of bacon and looked at it. One piece shouldn't hurt… besides he'd thrown up breakfast and then ran for he wasn't sure how long. So one piece would be fine. He smiled as he popped it into his mouth and chewed happily.

He was on his second piece of bacon when the phone rang. While he walked over to pick it up he swallowed his food, "Hello?" he said cautiously.

Silence…

_Okay, weird_. He thought as he said again, "Hello?"

Then a soft, "Sammy." Came across the line.

"Dean?" Sammy said in surprise.

"Yeah, it's me… I just wanted to let you know we made it to the motel and we'll be away from a phone for at least the next week." Dean said and then went silent.

"Ok…" Then Sam was silent for a few seconds before he blurted out, "You didn't tell me bye, D." He couldn't help the hurt that slid into his voice as he said it.

"Yeah… well…" Dean started and then swallowed before he continued, "You were asleep. You've been sick and I didn't want to bother you."

"That never stopped you before. You always tell me when you're leaving. I'm sorry I made you mad…" Sammy said softly before blurting out, "Maybe soon you can be proud of me again." Sammy said tearfully and slammed the phone down.

The phone started ringing again almost immediately but Sam stood there just staring at it. He couldn't face Dean now; not even on the phone.

He walked away from the ringing phone and sat down. As he pushed his plate away he pulled the bacon platter over in front of himself. He looked at it as he listened to the phones' continous ringing. He ate everything on the platter.

Standing he walked over and filled the sink with water to wash the dishes. He added the dish washing liquid; he watched the suds as he noticed the phone had finally quit ringing. Dropping the platter in the sink he went back to the table and picked up his plate and Bobby's just as the phone started to ring once again. He knew it was Dean. But he didn't want to hear it in Dean's voice that he was disappointed in him. He already knew that.

He put the plates in the sink and then went back to the table. When he looked down at the gravy and flapjacks he realized he wanted them so he sat down and ate them right off the platter and then he went on to finish off the eggs.

Taking all the empty dishes and putting them in the sink, he took a rag and wiped down the table.

The phone was still ringing. Dean was stubborn, he'd give him that. But so was he. He was not going to answer that phone. He walked back over to the sink and finished the dishes.

He was about to open the fridge and get a glass of milk when a wave of nausea hit him. He barely made it back to the sink before he threw everything back up. In the back ground the phone was still ringing. As he stumbled to the table he suddenly felt tired.

He grabbed the book and went upstairs. He stopped in the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

He lay down on Dean's bed and closed his eyes. It was nicer up here. He could barely hear the phone. After only a few seconds he was asleep.

Bobby arrived to a silent house. He felt really bad for forgetting to call and check up on Sammy. Marcus had been a real pain in the ass and he had tried to speed things up so he could get the hell out as quick as possible.

_Huh_, he thought as he came in carrying two pizzas from the pizza place in town. Taking them into the kitchen he noticed the dishes were done and the book gone. He smiled, Sammy had probably found some nook to hole up in and read.

Just then the phone rang so he sat down the pizza on the table as he answered it, "Hello?"

" 'Bout fuckin' time. _Shit_! I was about to head that way." Dean snarled as he let his anger mask the relief he felt that someone had finally answered the phone.

"What the hell are you talking about Dean?" Bobby asked, suprised by the panic radiating through the phone line.

"Sammy hung up on me and hasn't answered the phone in the last three hours. I told dad I was taking a bus back. He's so pissed; he went to the bar about an hour ago." Dean stated loudly as he still felt the aftershock of the waves of frustration.

"Well, let me go find him. You want to stay on the line or call me back in fifteen?" Bobby asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I'll wait, now that I actually have someone on the damn line." Dean snapped.

"You're turning into a sailor boy." Bobby commented with a smile.

"Damn straight. Bobby. Now can you go find the little shit?" Dean asked with a hint of a chuckle. Now that he'd reached someone he could finally allow himself the luxury of starting to calm down.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer**: All I know is if my computer doesn't quit erasing the shit I type I'm going to scream! What? Oh, nothing Supernatural belongs to me… (sniffle)

**NOTE#1**: I was in a panic since last night when FF wouldn't even let me log on... Jeez... Are they just trying to keep us stressed? JJ. This is a huge site to try to keep rolling. Anywho... I thought since most people haven't had a chance to probably read chap 13 I would hurry and post this and people can read them at the same time... Enjoy!

**TIDBIT**:Oh, yeah... the Dew Drop Inn was actually a tavern Ben Walton owned on the Waltons. But the one I am actually taking the name from is a tiny bar on Old Hwy 71, just past the "Hilltop" trailer park(left side of rd when headed to Fayetteville) in Springdale, AR. Both the Dew Drop In and the Hilltop are long gone to make room for the all consuming progress of our world... (also made up #, hopefully don't get yelled at for being an actual number)

Chapter 14

Bobby made a quick sweep of the downstairs without including the basement because he knew Sam would stay out of there if he wasn't with him so that left upstairs or outside.

He walked up the stairs and as he reached the landing he stopped to listen. It was quiet; normally if Sammy knew someone was in the house he would come to check out who it was. The bathroom door was open so he just went straight to the boy's room.

Bobby smiled when he found out Sammy was asleep on Dean's bed. He walked over and felt his forehead. It felt normal but his cheeks looked a little flushed causing Bobby to frown as he thought maybe he wasn't over the bug after all and maybe all that food made him sick?

He remembered Dean and rushed back down through the hall and down to the bottom of the stairs to the hall phone. As he picked it up he heard Dean sigh and mutter, "About damn time."

"Dean… he's asleep upstairs on your bed." Bobby stated flatly.

"He's asleep?" Dean repeated before he said quietly, "is he sick?"

"Well, his cheeks are a little flushed but as far as I can tell he's fever free." Bobby declared as he glanced back up the stairs.

Dean sighed in relief. "Well…" He could get mad now; now that he knew Sammy was okay. "Why the fuck didn't he answer the phone?"

"_Oh, I don't know, Dean_… maybe because he was asleep?" Bobby declared sarcastically.

"He was asleep when he hung up on me?" Dean retorted in his _still angry here _tone.

"Well, if you were talking to him the way you're talking to me, I'd a hung up on you too boy." Bobby snapped back as he tried to get past Dean's defensive anger so he didn't continue with the freakout mode he was currently working under.

Dean sighed again as he said contritely, "I'm sorry, Bobby."

Bobby could image Dean running a hand through his hair in agitation as he apologized. "If it makes you feel better I'll discuss it with him when he gets up."

Bobby could hear the relief in Dean's voice when he said softly, "Thanks Uncle Bobby."

"So, do you think maybe you should go retrieve your Dad from the bar before you catch more hell than he's already got planned for you at this time?" Bobby prodded gently.

"Yeah I should but I really wanted to talk to him, Bobby… I feel like something's wrong and he won't talk to me. They both say I'm hindering his growing up and I need to back off." Dean sighed before he continued, "How can I do that when my whole life has been about _protecting him_?"

"But boy…_ should it be your job_?" Bobby questioned gently with another glance up the stairs.

"Not you too, Bobby." Dean said the disappointment strong in his voice. "How can Dad tell… _Dad wants_ me to protect him when He needs me to… but back off and let him grow up when Dad thinks that needs to be done."

He growled in frustration as he continued, "Makes me feel like a damn yo-yo. I can't switch it on and off like that, Uncle Bobby. It doesn't work that way." Dean went silent for a couple seconds before he added softly, "Besides Mom told me it was a big brother's job to protect the younger… to keep him safe. That supersedes everything else…" Dean said in a tone that clearly said… _I'm so confused_.

"Dean that boy loves you… probably more than anyone else. I'd say his feelings are hurt because you didn't say goodbye this morning." Bobby said as he tried to make Dean feel better before he changed the subject, "When are you leaving?"

"In the morning… We will use this as base. We have the room for the next two weeks." Dean said in a business tone _because we are discussing the job_ voice he probably had no idea he used.

"Give me the number. I'll have Sammy call you when he wakes up." Bobby stated before he asked, "How's that?"

"Cool, Bobby. We are staying at the Dew Drop Inn. The number is 270-233-0151. The last three digits is the room number. If you can't reach us, just let it ring the desk will pick up and you can leave a message. I'll check for messages each time we come in."

After they hung up Bobby opened one of the pizza boxes and pulled out a slice and took a bite. Maybe he'd wake up Sam and have him eat while it was hot. He wandered back up the stairs as he finished off his pizza slice.

Going back into the room that Sammy was sleeping in he went over and gently shook him.

Sammy slowly opened his eyes and stared groggily at Bobby as he sat up.

Bobby stood as he told him, "Hurry up, boy. Your pizza is getting cold."

Sammy lay back as he mumbled, "I just ate."

Bobby leaned back over and shook him again.

Sammy opened his eyes again as Bobby told him, "That was hours ago and its way past lunch. I bought pizza and it's getting cold. So move it." He told him before he turned and walked to the door.

As Sammy slowly got up Bobby told him, "By the way, Dean called when I was putting the pizza in the kitchen. Want to tell me why you hung up on your brother?"

Sammy's expression closed off as he said, "No…" then after Bobby's look he added, "Sir."

Bobby sighed as he started out of the room as he called over his shoulder, "I told him it was probably because he left without saying goodbye to you." then he smiled at the shocked look on Sammy's face. _Yep, he'd pegged it._

Sammy watched as Bobby left the room, he really didn't want to eat in front of Bobby and he really, really didn't want to talk to Dean. He sat there for several seconds as he tried to figure a way to get out of both. He gave a loud sigh as he stood to follow Bobby. _That was just it_, he couldn't get out of anything.

Sammy sighed even louder as he heard Bobby say, "Yeah, well. I told you I'd have him call when he gets up and down here. He ain't in here boy." Bobby stopped talking as he listened for a minute before he responded with, "Well, I guess you need to work on that. Because if you don't concentrate someone will end up hurt." He heard Dean say something loudly before Bobby interrupted Dean, "I didn't say that boy. I know you've been in the business a lot longer than a lot of men out there, I'm just saying you need to pay attention to the job you're on so you don't end up hurt because you were worried about what's happening here. That's all I meant." Bobby turned at that moment and spotted Sammy, "Here." Bobby said as he held the phone out to Sammy to take.

Sammy frowned at Bobby but took the phone. As he held it up to his ear he mumbled, "Hey, Dean."

"Sammy." Dean said cautiously.

"I thought you were on the job. I didn't think you'd be near a phone in the woods." Sammy finally said as he chewed his bottom lip.

"I'm still at the motel. We're leaving in the morning, but we rented the room for the next two weeks. It's going to be base."

"Oh." Sammy said to let Dean know he was listening.

"So, I'll call you whenever we come in for the night… we won't be in every night, but when we do, I'll call."

"Ok." Sammy agreed.

"Sammy, I'm sorry I didn't say bye. Dad was in a hurry and you were sleeping…" Dean tried again to apologize to his brother.

"You said that already, Dean. I don't want to talk about it anymore." Sammy stated as his chin jutted out.

"Sammy, come on, man. Don't be like that." Dean pleaded.

Sammy handed the phone back to Bobby and left the room as he headed straight for the library.

Bobby put the phone to his ear as he told Dean, "Dean, he left the room. I don't know… call back in a few hours. I'll talk to him…"

Sammy heard Bobby sigh as he said, "I know I said that before. But _you_ called back. You didn't wait for me to talk to him and call _you_ back."

Sammy frowned as he kicked at the trashcan by the desk. _He wished they would just start the damn job they were in such a hurry to leave him for and quit harassing him_.

Bobby said from behind him, "I hope you know you're cleaning up that mess boy."

Sammy looked over his shoulder and grinned as he bent down and righted the trashcan and started replacing the trash that he had spread onto the floor when he kicked the trashcan in his frustration.

"So you plan on telling me what is up with you and Dean? You know you have him pretty worried, right?" Bobby asked as he watched Sammy.

Sammy frowned at him as he stood and turned to face him, "I don't think so."

"You don't think he's worried about you? Well, I can tell you for damn sure he is. Enough so, that he's pissed off your Dad just to talk to you before they leave. Even told him if he couldn't get a hold of you after you hung up on him he was coming back… _on a bus_… the first one out of town he could find. _How pissed do you think your Dad is at Dean right now_? Hum? Think about it boy…" Bobby turned to go back into the kitchen before he turned back and said, "by the way pizza's getting cold." With that said he walked back to the kitchen.

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer**: Winchesters are not mine…no matter how much I like to steal them from the sandbox they live in. (Concludes statement and glares behind her to the people in suits with the cattle prod) Finally turns and states angrily, "Don't even think about touching me with that or I will ask Sammy and Dean to put that in an very… um… uncomfortable (nods with a smile) yep uncomfortable place. Smiles triumphantly when they walk away shaking their heads. Turns back to the crowd as gives a thumbs up…. On with the show… story… whatever. LOL

**NOTE#1**: Thank you all so much for the reviews! You know I adore them! Writing has been something I hadn't realized I missed or that it helped me relax so much until I started writing again. How funny is that! So thanks for making it such a fun time for me! As always thanks for adds to favs and alerts! (I know that sounded a lot like, it's about me, me, and me) But I really wanted to thank **you guys **the readers and reviewers! So **THANK YOU**! (blows kisses)

Chapter 15

Sammy frowned, _He wasn't even around and he was still managing to cause trouble for Dean_. He had hoped that he could be a different person before there was anymore trouble _but no_ it sounded like he'd struck again and he hadn't even been there. _Shit! _He groaned as he headed back to the kitchen.

As he plopped into his normal seat he mumbled, "I didn't mean to."

Bobby didn't even look up at him from where he was about to pour the milk to drink with the pizza as he told Sammy, "I know you didn't kid. So does Dean. But you need to let him know you're ok."

Sammy stood and shuffled towards the phone only to have Bobby call him back.

"At least eat one piece before you call him. You might not get off the phone until the pizza is stone cold if you call him now." Bobby stated as he sat a glass of cold milk in front of his place at the table.

Sammy shuffled back to the table and sat dejectedly down. He sat with his hands folded in his lap as he looked down at them. He didn't want Dean to be unhappy, but he couldn't seem to get things right. No matter how hard he tried.

If he hadn't been born Dean would be happy now with Dad and a Mom living in that house from the picture where they all looked so happy by that tree in the front yard. Maybe he'd even have a good little brother that never got him in trouble and that was just a miniature of Dean.

His lower lip started to tremble he knew he was selfish because he didn't want Dean to have another brother that he liked better. He wanted to be the brother that Dean loved best. He told himself he wasn't going to cry because he was too big to anyways. _Winchesters don't cry_, he heard in his head his dad's voice say sternly. He thought mutinously, _then it's a good thing Dad doesn't consider me a real Winchester._

"Sammy." Bobby said as he sat down and noticed Sammy had yet to take a bite of food.

Sammy looked up and it struck Bobby that he'd seen that look before from Dean when he was little and would peek around from behind his daddy's pant's leg while holding on with one tightly fisted hand as his lower lip trembled when he tried not to cry.

Bobby laid a hand on Sammy's arm as he asked him, "Sammy, what's wrong?"

"I tried really hard to be good. I don't want to be his job anymore… I just want to be his brother." Sammy looked down again as he mumbled, "Not his burden."

"Sam… Dean doesn't look at you as if you're a burden to bear." Bobby told Sammy gently as he pat his arm in silent comfort.

"But I am." Sammy snapped as he jerked away and bolted out of his chair and towards the back door. Yanking it open he started to run, but Bobby's voice stopped him, "He thinks of you as his last gift from your mother."

Sammy froze as he turned to stare at him before he said sadly, "I'm the reason he doesn't have a mother. Ask Dad he'll tell you. Dad tolerates me because of Dean. When Dean doesn't want me around anymore, I'll be gone. Leaving me here is Step One of getting rid of the stone around everyone's neck. I think he's trying to place that stone around _your_ neck."

Bobby stared at Sammy speechless. Sam was only eleven but he had always sounded older than his years. Which he attributed to Dean being around the kid constantly. He acted more Dean's age than his own. Then he would turn around and say something that truly told his age, like believing that his family felt he was a burden because he was left somewhere safe. "Boy the case was too dangerous for you. I thought your dad explained that to you."

Sammy just stared at him with his chin jutted out.

"Sammy," Bobby tried again, "I want you to call Dean and _really listen to his voice_. It will tell you what you need to hear."

Sammy looked like he was still planning to still bolt when he suddenly pushed away from the screen with a sigh that resounded through the kitchen as he made his way back over to Bobby.

Bobby placed his hand on Sammy's shoulder as he picked up the phone with his other hand to call Dean.

"Oh, hey, John… Is Dean around?" Bobby asked, his hold tightening on Sammy as he tried to scoot away from Bobby.

"What?" Bobby asked John as he listened and then told him, "Dean asked Sammy to call him back so he could talk to him before you all headed out."

Bobby let go of Sammy has he told him softly, "Go feed the pups would you? And why don't you run them around the yard a few times to wear them out. Maybe they will sleep tonight instead of barking."

Sammy frowned at Bobby, _he wasn't stupid_, Bobby wanted him out of the room. So he went out of the room just like Bobby requested and straight over to the hall phone and quietly picked it up.

"You listen to me John Winchester, I don't care that you're drunk and you will regret what you have said in the morning, _providing_ you even remember it. If you were here I'd shoot you so full of buckshot you'd be shitting lead for the next six months!" Bobby snarled at John while still trying to be quiet so Sammy wouldn't hear him.

"Singer you can go to hell. I'll come get him and he can go with us." John growled.

"You know that ain't what I'm sayin' so stop being a bastard. The boy needs to hear you say you love him and that you don't blame him for Mary." Bobby stated flatly.

"That ain't your business." John snapped coldly.

"Like hell it ain't _you_ made it my business when you brought those boys into my life." Bobby commented angrily.

"Well that can be changed." John growled back.

"You ass, why don't you go sleep it off and have Dean call me when he gets back. Can you manage that?" Bobby asked the last part soaked in sarcasm.

"Oh, go to hell, Bobby." John said without much vigor.

"Why don't you check it out first, pick out the prime real estate down there and I'll meet you there." Bobby snarked.

"Dick." John growled.

"Bastard." Bobby shot right back.

Sammy placed the phone gently back on the cradle and snuck outside. By the time Bobby came to check on him he was racing back and forth with the pups. _He was like those pups_, Bobby thought as he watched. Those pups were all legs with huge paws they hadn't grown into yet, but once they did, they would be one hell of powerhouse to reckon with. Sammy was going to be like that, if he had anyone listening, he'd have them to mark his words. One day Sammy would come into his own and he'd be a Winchester that no one wanted to fuck with. But right now he was still an unsure pup that needed to know he was loved.

Dean did that for Sammy he knew. Sammy knew Dean cared about him but with the way John was talking he wasn't sure that Sammy knew how John felt. The years had definitely set about to change John from the caring father he first met to the slightly obsessed man he was turning into.

He just hoped that John realized what he had before he ran it off. Because if John didn't fix the crack now it would end up too broken to stay together; Sammy would walk away and he was afraid that would devastate Dean.

He stood leaning against the porch post as he watched Sammy play with the pups.

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer**: I have been told they are not mine and I have to always play nice… Since when have I ever listened to what I've been told? Uh, never! (evil smile)

**NOTE#1**: Sorry so late have been having problems logging on… So thank you to my readers and reviewers… I adore you! HOPE YOU ENJOY!

Chapter 16

Later that night as Bobby lay in bed trying to go to sleep it dawned on him that Sammy hadn't eaten. Crap! They'd been distracted by the phone call. He wondered if John had told Dean that they had tried to call because Dean never called back.

Sammy tried not to show it but he had watched the clock and the phone for three hours straight before Bobby had sent him to bed apparently without dinner. Shit! He turned over, _well there was no point in waking the kid now at_… He squinted at the clock that glowed red numbers at him from on the night stand, _3:07 am. Double hell_… he groaned as he turned over and thought before he fell asleep once again, _I'll fix him an extra big breakfast in the morning_.

3:19 am found Sammy standing in the kitchen as he held the refrigerator door open while he stared inside. He'd been blankly staring into it for 3 minutes and still hadn't made a decision to pick something to eat. He was hungry, starving it felt like if the current stomach ache was any indication. He was worried because Dean had not called him back, he was worried about Dean and Dad being safe on the case and he was worried that they might not even come back for him. Maybe Dean had finally decided he was too big of a pain in the ass to mess with and it would be all his fault.

He finally grabbed a couple of pieces of left over pizza and set them on the counter and then poured a glass of milk. He let the door fall shut as he grabbed a piece of the pizza and took a big bite. While he ate he thought _one day I will be bigger than Dean_ _and then they'll want me on the cases too_. He quickly grabbed an apple off the table after he finished the milk and pizza. At that point he headed for the back door. He went straight to the puppies and started to play with them. After he finished off the apple he threw the core as hard as he could towards the stacks of cars.

He stood and did fifty jumping jacks and then he dropped to do twenty-five pushups. He was getting hot _good_ he thought, _sweating was a good thing_. Then the thought of pizza popped into his head once again, he wanted another piece really bad. He stood, as he jogged in place, he really shouldn't he thought just before he took off into the house. Before he'd really thought about it he'd eating the whole box of pizza. He race back outside past the dogs and made himself start to throw up. It was like his body was learning what he wanted. He only had to stick his finger down his throat once to start puking this time.

He startled when a hand landed on his back. He jerked and stood quickly to look behind him, "Uncle Bobby?" Sammy said softly as he wondered just how much he'd seen.

"Still got the bug, huh?" Bobby asked sympathetically. "But why are you outside? It's really not safe…"

Sammy looked at Bobby wide eyed as he responded, "I thought you said there was so many wards up that a witch's tit…"

Bobby interrupted quickly, "Well, still. It's late… a little early to be out running around. So, why are you?" He asked as he tightened his hold on Sammy's shoulder while he moved his hand up from his back.

"I didn't want you to hear me be sick and… um… I thought the cool air might make me feel better." Sammy said as he looked at the ground not wanting to look Bobby in the eye while he lied to him.

"Well, let's head back in and you can try to get more sleep." Bobby said as he pushed him along ahead of himself as he headed towards the porch.

"What about you Uncle Bobby?" Sammy asked curiously.

"Not sleepy anymore. You scared me awake." Bobby told him seriously.

Sammy stopped and turned to look over his shoulder at Bobby before he laughed then told Bobby flatly, "You're not afraid of anything, not even Dad."

"Well, you can check later in the morning for the new grey hair you gave me." Bobby replied with a grin.

Sammy laughed at Bobby as he turned and headed back to the house. He missed the frown mixed with concern aimed at the back of his head.

He started up the stairs only to stop halfway up to look back at Bobby, "Thank you for caring."

Bobby stopped and turned to face Sammy who he'd been walking away from when he said it. "Um…" He cleared his throat and tried again, "It's not that hard… you boys are becoming like my own."

Sammy smiled down at Bobby then turned and went back upstairs. He thought it was nice of Bobby to say but Dean was the one that was worth caring about. Dean was always there as he tried to fix, save and help everyone. Unless of course they were messing with Sammy then he was there to fuck them up. Sammy looked around as if he was afraid someone heard him cuss in his head. He shook his head because that was silly. As he tromped to his room he shared with Dean he decided maybe if he read for a little while he might get sleepy.

He grabbed his bag that he kept his books in… he would probably leave them here if he finished reading them. Bobby told him he could leave anything he wanted in the room and it would be there when he came back. So far he had kept his word.

He just wished he'd started doing it before Dean lost his yearbook. He'd actually started collecting things Dean left behind after that had happened and Dean had been so sad about leaving it behind. It was after that that Dean stopped caring about too many things, he said you eventually had to leave them behind anyways.

He stopped as a sudden thought hit him, _What if he was one of things that Dean would learn to except as a okay thing to give up? _He shook his head as he wondered was dad trying to get Dean to forget him? He rushed into the room and grabbed his bag. As he dumped it on the bed he was shocked to find all kinds of candy and stuff as it fell out along with his books and the picture in the bottom he was looking for. There was a folded piece of notebook paper taped to it. He pulled it carefully off the picture and as looked at it he recognized Dean's handwriting immediately. Just his name was on the front.

As he opened it he glanced at the candy, he reached for a Hershey's bar that seemed to be calling to him. He ripped it open and started chewing as he read,

_Little brother,_

_I know you and Dad want me to let you grow up. I am trying but this is my job. I picked it. No one forced me to become Sammy's watchdog. I'm not chained to you._

_But I am bound to you. We have a brother bond and that Sammy is unbreakable. From the first time mom laid you in my arms and you grabbed my finger in your fist and smiled at me… that was the time that bond was forged and I don't want to break it. So, I choose not to._

_By the way, I "obtained" this candy for you because I felt bad that you were sick and knew when you got to feeling better you would pull out one of your books and read. Then you would be ready for candy. So enjoy. But save me a bag of M&M's bitch._

_Bros,_

_Dean_

Looking down he was shocked to see he's eaten three candy bars and a bag of M&M's.

He grabbed all the candy and shove it back in the bag and zipped it up he rushed over and shove it in the closet. He slammed the door shut and as he leaned against it, he tried to catch his breath. He started to feel sick. _No wonder he was fat_. He ate automatically. He didn't even think about what he shoved in there. That had to change! He needed to be aware of what was going on around him.

He jumped when he heard Bobby yell up the stairs, "Boy, You okay?"

"Yeah, Uncle Bobby… I… I tripped… sorry." Sammy stuttered as he pushed away from the door to the closet and started across the room.

He stumbled to a stop as his stomach cramped up and he groaned out load. He lurched to the bathroom as he tried to hold back the vomit he felt rising hotly up to make an appearance. He slammed the door shut behind him as he threw up in the toilet. When he was finally done he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and went to brush his teeth.

**TBC**

**Tiny Note: **Migraine and family drama... tried to find all mistakes... if something glares at you let me know and I will take care of it... LOves and HUggs...


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine... (frown) I don't care I will still be sandbox raiding!

**NOTE#1**: Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs and alerts! I know and before you say anything... I am apologizing now for the short chapter! But, the scene is just done... It won't let me add more... So I hope you enjoy anyway! Air Kisses and Huggs!

Chapter 17

He was in the middle of brushing his teeth when he heard Bobby knock.

"Yeah?" Sammy asked through the froth he'd made. Spitting it out he called out, "Uncle Bobby?"

"Boy was you puking again?" Bobby asked the concern evident in his voice.

Sammy imagined he could see Bobby frown while he asked the question but he didn't stop Sammy from feeling his face grow hot from embarrassment. He was going to have to be more careful. Uncle Bobby might think he needed to take him to the doctor and he really didn't want a stranger to look at him; to see what he or dad saw when he looked at him… he shivered at the awfulness of that concept.

All he wanted was to be left alone! He sighed as he told Bobby, "You don't have to ya know."

"I don't have to what?" Bobby asked from the other side of the door.

"Care." Sammy said softly.

"Boy don't talk stupid." Bobby demanded with a frustrated sigh. _How long was it going to take him to convince the boy there was nothing wrong with him and that his dad was just an ass sometimes_.

"Why would you care when the ones that are supposed to don't?" Sammy asked because it just seemed backwards to him.

"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked loudly.

"Dad. He only sees the hunt now not us… or at least not me. I want him to see _me as his son_. I want him to be _proud_ of me for the things I can do, not hate me for the things i suck at... like hunting. And Dean…" He said as he turned away from the bathroom door in embarressment at having opened himself up so much and spilt his guts all over the bathroom floor.

Bobby interrupted as he told Sammy, "Dean has made it more than plain where he stands, boy."

"But he _has_ to. It's been pounded into his head forever. I want him to _want _to be around me cause I'm his brother not his job…" At the silence Sammy said sadly, "Never mind… it's stupid."

Bobby heard Sammy's sigh before he asked quietly, "Is that how you feel?"

He thought about it a few seconds before he said softly as he turned back to the door, "Yeah."

"Then it's not stupid." Bobby declared firmly.

"Feels stupid." Sammy muttered when he opened the bathroom door.

Bobby smiled as he messed up Sammy's hair as he agreed with Sammy, "I reckon it does."

Sammy automatically reached up to smooth down his hair.

Halfway down the stairs Bobby said softly, "Just remember it's only for a couple of weeks."

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer**: Sandboxing Raiding! Wuuuu-whoooo! I know all right… stop pushing! Not mine… (Looks behind her and sticks out her tongue)

**NOTE#1**: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews despite such a short chapter! Ziggymia123 brought to my attention a couple of things and I changed them in chap 17. Just a little twick and add of a couple of sentences. Thanks, Ziggymia123 I like the chap better now.

**NOTE#2**: Bear with me before you get out the lighter fluid and the lighter… please read the note at the end of the chapter before you send out the hit men! **But** it can wait until you read the chapter first… Smiles hesitantly before hiding behind Sammy and Dean, Bobby's in the library loading the shotgun incase of murderous fallout…

Chapter 18

Bobby heard the vehicle long before he saw it. He stormed out the front door to the porch as soon as he recognized the growl of the impala's engine with shotgun in hand. He was going to kill John Winchester and maybe Dean if he didn't have a damn good reason for this betrayal of their youngest.

Bobby laid his shotgun across his folded arms; no pretense of friendliness was evident. It had disappeared when the Winchesters had neglected the young boy they had sworn to love and protect. They had been gone over seven weeks with not one word from them for six and a half weeks. It was bullshit and Bobby was beyond pissed.

John got out of the car with a smile on his face as he closed his car door. When he turned towards the house he spotted the shotgun and his smile was replaced with a frown. "What's going on Bobby?" John asked as he walked to the front of the car and then leaned back against the grill.

"You tell me… and it better be damn good or you can turn that piece of shit around and go back the way you came." Bobby took a couple of steps closer to the edge of the porch.

Bobby noticed movement from the inside of the car and noted Dean's concerned expression but unfortunately he was too pissed to give a shit at the moment.

"We're back." John stated the obvious with a shrug.

Bobby growled something under his breath as he leveled his shotgun at John's chest. Finally after a quick clamp down on his temper he stated in a clear voice, "I'm going to need a little more information than that, John Winchester." He said John's name like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

"I'll think we'll get the boy and leave." John stated as he himself got pissed.

"You step on this porch and I'll fill you so full of buckshot…" Bobby was growling at John when Dean chose that moment to intervene.

He slammed his door shut as he said loudly, "Uncle Bobby." He waited until Bobby was focused on him before he asked, "Where's my brother?" He couldn't help the icy hands of dread that had followed him around since he'd found out how long he'd been out of commission and that Sam still wasn't with them.

Bobby looked down and sighed sadly before he looked back to John, "I tried to call. I have men out looking for you right now. Neither Jim nor Caleb are home to answer their phones."

Dean's sharp intake of breath was audible for all to hear while he scrambled toward Bobby as he repeated, "Where is he?" Panic was now in blasting forward mode to ricochet wildly as it grew exponentially to clasp Dean tightly in its web of fear.

Bobby turned from John to focus on Dean before he asked softly, "Where were you Dean? He needed you to be there. _I defended you_; I _swore_ to him that you wouldn't abandon him. I never expected to lie to him about something like that."

Dean grabbed Bobby with both hands as he chose to ignore the pain that shot through his left hand and up his arm under his cast. "Uncle Bobby, please."

Both looked at Dean as Bobby propped his rifle against the house. The boy looked rough he noticed for the first time. Pale and stitches over his right eye along with a hell of a bruise that surrounded the cut and down the right side of his face. "You got one minute, boy. Make it count. Because if I don't like what you have to say you both will leave."

Dean nodded his understanding as he dropped his hands he rubbed his cast free hand nervously on his jeans as he told Bobby, "I've been in the hospital… Hell, Bobby I didn't know who, what or where until 4 days ago. I tried to check out then. They wouldn't release me and dad wouldn't let me leave until the tests came back clear. Then I checked out AMA… I tried to call a couple of times on the way. You didn't answer."

"And you John?" Bobby snapped as he glared at John.

John looked ashamed but said nothing as he glanced away.

"U…huh." Bobby said disapprovingly before he focused on Dean once again.

"Please," Dean begged desperately, "Just tell me he's okay."

Bobby looked away towards the stacks of cars. Bobby's eyes focused back on Dean when Dean grabbed his shirt front again. Bobby laid a hand over Dean's as he told him quietly, "He's upstairs."

"Oh… he's pouting then?" John guessed, relieved. John blinked and the gun was yanked up and swung past Dean to fire at John's feet. "What the fuck, Bobby?" John snapped as he landed on the hood of the impala feet in the air.

"Shut the fuck up Winchester before I shoot you in the head you dumb shit." Bobby snarled as he shook his head.

Dean shook Bobby hard as he yelled, "What's wrong with Sammy?"

"The doctors don't know Dean. They can't fix it." Bobby said bluntly.

Dean's face blanked as he froze in shock. He stood there blinking as he tried to hard to figure out what the hell could have happened. He shook his head as if to clear it and then asked, "What? He had the flu… what…" Dean couldn't comprehend what Bobby was saying to him. It just didn't make sense. He gave up trying to process the new information as he pushed at Bobby to try to get passed him.

Bobby grabbed him by one arm and held on, "You need to know a few things first."

Dean stiffened but went still instantly as he looked up and whispered, the fear evident on his face, "What?"

"He keeps loosing weight." Bobby told him quietly.

John smiled as relief flooded through him, "Well, he needed to loose a few…"

"Quit talking John your stupidity is showing." Bobby snarled not bothering to look at John as he stayed focused on Dean.

John's mouth slammed shut as he stood glaring at Bobby.

"How much?" Dean paled considerably as he whispered.

"He weighs less than 100 pounds." Bobby snapped with another glare at John.

"What?" Dean gasped as he did some quick calculations in his head, "That means he's lost over 35 pounds. How the hell is that possible? Isn't he eating?" Dean asked as his voice rose in panic.

John interrupted because he didn't understand what the big deal was and voiced that confusion, "What's the big deal with a few pounds? Dean weighed around that at his age."

"You dumb ass _Dean_ was underweight at his age. Sammy was the weight he should have been for his age. He was healthy." Bobby looked back at Dean as he said, "But it's more than that. He can't keep anything down. So yeah he eats but nothing stays down. His balance is shot, he can't seem to get warm, stomachaches, headaches and his fingernails are tinged blue as he keeps getting weaker." Bobby told them frankly. Maybe then they would understand how serious this really was.

Dean blinked back tears as he asked hoarsely, "But we can fix this, _right_?" At the silence, Dean barely made a sound as he tried to say, "Uncle Bobby." He wanted someone to tell him this was all some sort of sick joke... but no one was laughing.

Bobby shook his head to the negative, "I'm sorry, boy. They said there's nothing they can do. They ran all the tests…"

Dean staggered back as he looked around frantically as if to find a reason for what was happening while he thought wildly, _I should have stayed_. He ran a hand through his hair as his focus landed on John. He pointed an accusing finger at John, "This is all your fault." and then he raced past Bobby into the house. He stumbled as he tried to see past his tears that ran freely down his cheeks while he raced up the stairs.

He didn't stop until he was in their room. Leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath he stared into the room searching his little brother out. He was surprised to find Sammy's bed empty. The figure in his bed seemed too small to be his Sammy. He wasn't curled up in his normal ball position either but on his side facing his own bed. He looked too pale with the dark circles predominant on his face. His hair hid one eye as Dean stepped quietly into the room.

He barely moved the bed as he eased himself onto it beside his little brother. A few minutes later he finally reached out and pushed back Sammy's hair to get a better look at him.

**TBC**

**TinyNOTE**: I know it's a several week jump, but as I wrote the end of chapter 17 I saw this scene like a movie and…

I wanted to focus more on all of them together getting Sammy better… more than him and Bobby alone as he worsened. **How about this?** Read the entire story and then tell me if this fits okay the way it's done. It's just done to me this way… besides if I had included everything it would have been some crazy 200+ chapters…

My loves and huggs

~iamtrryN~Crissi-currently sitting quietly in the corner chewing fingernails down to the quick and if you take too long deciding if you hate me or not I might move onto to my fingers and that would just be gross… Smiles…


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer**: Not mine… sneak attack on the sandbox!

**NOTE#1**: THANK YOU SO MUCH! The reviews are amazingly awesome! As well as favs and alerts… I did want to mention… I did not use the BMI Calculators. I did base the weight thing on my own experience. My childhood doc didn't approve of that system and… basically Bobby is taking on my doc's personality and opinion on children & weight. My doc's opinion was the charts themselves would cause eating problems for children trying to reach those weights the charts listed. Sorry for the confusion… smiles!

Chapter 19

Dean sat beside Sammy his tears having dried as he wondered how they could have gotten to this point.

Sammy groaned in his sleep and moved into Dean's touch on his face. Dean whispered gently, "Little brother, what is going on with you?"

Sammy opened his eyes in response to Dean's voice; dull unfocused eyes looked at him and then slowly started to close again.

"No, you don't little brother." Dean said as he rubbed his knuckles across Sammy's cheekbone.

Sammy's eyelids fluttered but remained closed.

"Come on, Sammy. _I'm sorry_. As soon as I could I got back here to you." Dean said as new unshed tears made it hard to see.

"Not real." Sammy mumbled as he tried to turn away.

"I swear to you on mom… I'm really here." Dean said something he never said, _ever_.

Sammy's eyes popped open as he questioned, "Dean?" His eyes finally focused on his older brother.

"Yeah?" Dean responded immediately as he continued watch his little brother closely.

"Why are you here?" Sammy asked dully.

"What? Where else would I be?" Dean asked surprised, as he wondered once again what the hell was going on.

Sammy closed his eyes as a tear slid free.

"Hey… _hey now_… you need to talk to me." Dean said softly.

Sammy opened his eyes once again to look at Dean with such sadness Dean's breath caught as he said, "Where else would I be except with my pain in the ass little brother?" as he tried to lighten the oppressive fear he was feeling.

"Too fun…" Sammy mumbled as he struggled to turn away from Dean.

Dean rubbed circles on Sammy's arm as he held him place, leaning in he asked, "Who told you that getting my ass handed to me was too much fun that I couldn't be here with you?" He tried really hard to control the anger he felt at whoever had hurt his brother.

Sammy opened his eyes to stare at Dean, "Sandra?"

"My nurse?" Dean asked as his thought flashed back to Bobby's statement '_haven't heard from you in weeks_.'

"_Sammy_. The only Sandra I know was jabbing me with needles at the hospital." Dean said as he watched Sammy closely.

"_Hospital_?" Sammy looked startled as he reached for Dean, "You, K?" he asked before he let his hand drop away without actually touching him at all. "I'm sorry." Sammy mumbled as he let his eyes fall closed again.

"For what?" Dean asked and when he received no response he gave Sam a slight shake by the arm, "Sammy? For what?" He repeated.

"I tried to be good." Sammy whispered as he tried to turn into the pillow since Dean wouldn't let him turn away from him.

Dean sat stunned and more than a little confused a moment before he asked, "What _Sammy_?" He gave him another small shake as he told him, "You're the best person I know."

Sammy didn't move, twitch… anything.

Dean shook him again.

Still nothing.

He gently rolled him over with no resistance. He appeared to be asleep. Dean gently ran a finger from Sam's forehead down his temple and across his cheek to feather-light touch his nose just once. Nothing… _yep, he was asleep_.

He slowly rose so he wouldn't wake Sammy as he stood. Leaning over he tucked the blanket in around Sammy. Satisfied he was truly out he made his ways downstairs. He was in need of some answers and his dad was in need of giving them to him.

When he reached the doorway he turned and looked back at his little brother as he whispered, "I love you, Sammy." Then he turned and went downstairs with a determination that he would get answers as he marched angrily out the front door in search of his father.

He was quick to spot his father with Bobby almost immediately when he stepped out of the house onto the porch. They were sitting quietly together with John sporting an eye swollen shut and a broken nose and with a cut above the other eye. Bobby looked like he fared the best out of the two with only a scraped up chin. They both were holding beers as they turned to stare at Dean.

Dean stared at his father with his fists clenched at his sides. "So… just when were you planning on telling me that you _did_ talked to Sammy." He waited only a fraction of a second before he continued, "And I'll bet you the impala that it was after I got hurt. _Because_… Sandra. _Dad really_? Come on, _my nurse_… You couldn't be honest with him and tell him that we fucked up and underestimated the son of a bitch and got my ass handed to me. _So instead_…" His voice rising in his anger, "You tell him I'm too busy to fuck with my little brother with some made up piece of ass to have time to waste on him…"

John stood up as he threw his beer against the house while he roared, "Don't you dare fucking talk…"

"_Dare what, Dad_?" Dean stormed as he lunged over to stand toe to toe with his dad. He was right on this one and he wasn't backing down. "Stand up to you when you've fucked up royally and _you even know it_?"

"Dean." John snarled warningly as he clenched his own fists in an attempt to control his own rising anger.

Bobby sat down his beer and stood up as he prepared to step in if necessary.

"I think you should go." Dean snapped as he stared his dad in the eye as he finished what he had to say, "Come back when you give a damn." and then he turned and stormed back into the house.

"Now you wait a fucking minute," John growled as he started to follow his oldest.

Bobby laid a hand on John's arm.

About twenty minutes later Dean heard the impala start and peel out of the driveway.

He told himself he didn't give a shit. He'd taken care of Sammy lots of time when their dad had been busy; this would be no different. He didn't care… He could kid himself all he wanted. _Damn it, he did care_…and it pissed him off.

Dean sighed as he sat quietly on Sammy's bed watching him sleep on his bed when Bobby walked in and sat down beside him.

Bobby clasped his hands together as he braced them on his legs as he waited for Dean to collect his thoughts and work through what he needed to in his head.

After several minutes Dean sighed again as he rubbed his uninjured hand through his hair as he finally asked, "How can Dad have turned into such a bastard?" he let his anger seep into his voice.

Bobby didn't say anything because he knew Dean wasn't finished with what he had to say.

"_I mean when did we_…" another sigh escaped before he continued, "When did it happen that the hunt became more important than us? It wasn't always like that… not like this." Dean looked at Bobby as unshed tears glistening in his eyes, "I remember when it was different Bobby." Dean mumbled. He bit his lip before he asked softly, "So he left, huh?" He'd been silently hoping he would stay and try to make it right.

Bobby reached up and clasped his shoulder, "Boy, he's getting a room in town."

At Dean's expression he added, "He didn't want to. He wanted to stay. But I made him go. Thought you needed time to work out some things."

Dean nodded as he gave Bobby a slight smile, "Yeah, I thought about borrowing some buckshot myself there for a few, Uncle Bobby."

Bobby gave Dean's shoulder another squeeze as he changed the subject in hopes of calming Dean's racing thoughts, "I called the guys and told them they could go home. I'd found you." He told him with a small smile and pat on the back.

"How long?" Dean asked as he stole a glance at Bobby before his eyes riveted back to Sammy.

"Two weeks." Bobby said quietly.

"And they hadn't found us? They aren't very good. Who'd you use?" Dean questioned suddenly becoming curious.

"I know… they sucked. But the best was here." Bobby smiled and then added with a shrug, "and with you. Caleb and Jim, you and your dad. I had to go second rate."

"Yeah, well. They need to find a new line of work." Dean commented dryly as he focused on Bobby.

"I basically told them that three days after they started looking." Bobby said with a slight grin.

"Why two weeks ago? Why not sooner?" Dean asked as he looked over at Sammy.

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer**: Rubbing one eye with my fist as I whine loudly while stomping my foot, I don't care I want to play in the sandbox! NO, wailing not that one as I point at the Winchester Sandbox, I want that one!

**NOTE#1**: Have I said lately that I love you guys and that you guys are freakin' awesome! Well, I am now! Thanks to all for reading, reviewing, faving and alerts! Thanks to my friends that have noticed oopsies and let me know so I could fix them.

Chapter 20

Bobby looked down a second or two before he turned his gaze back to Dean as he told him his voice saturated with guilt, "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't catch it sooner."

"What?" Dean asked his jaw flinched as he thought frantically, _I will not panic_.

Bobby stared at Dean a few seconds before he told him, "Two weeks ago, Sammy passed out in the yard playing with the puppies." He gave a deep sigh, he had been dreading the telling of this since it happened, "I couldn't wake him up. I rushed him to the hospital."

Dean rubbed at his temple as he tried desperately not to freak.

"Dean he spent a week there." Bobby told him bluntly because he knew he needed to be upfront with Dean; he deserved that much so he added, "He said he felt like a lab rat they ran so many tests."

"And?" Dean asked even though he felt like a bomb was about to drop on him.

"They found no reason for him collapsing like that." Bobby said softly.

"Their doctors… they have to know…" Dean stopped took a deep breath and started again, "How can they say that there's no reason…"

"That's when they told me about his weight." Bobby interrupted as he tried to get everything out in the open as quick as possible.

"And you tried to call?" Dean asked for clarification.

"Dean, I've been trying!" Bobby growled frustrated as he stood and turned to face Dean, "That's when I called in favors and set the boys out to find you." Bobby grabbed his cap and yanked it off and ran a hand through his hair before he continued, "I had Sharnel, Tompkins, Deeks, Milo and Tremke all looking for your asses. Gave them all known alias and I got nothing." With that said he slammed the cap back on his head.

Dean chewed his lip before he stated he told Bobby, "Yeah, the town we had the case in didn't have a hospital, the nearest hospital was 175 miles away. Dad used a new alias on this job." Dean tried for a small grin before he added, "Hayes Olathe Sr. and Jr. Do I look like a Haze to you? Or a junior? I told him it was a stupid name." Dean dropped his head in his hands as he mumbled, "I knew he was sick and I still left. What kind of brother does that make me?"

Bobby rubbed a couple of circles on Dean's back before he dropped his hand and moved it back to his own lap. "Boy, you didn't abandon him. You had a job to do. You were coming back in two weeks. You didn't plan to leave him alone that long." Bobby told Dean as he tried to comfort him.

"He depends on me. _ME_, Bobby. _I don't _let him down. I never have… and then when he needs me the most." He stopped and then started again. "If anything happens… I just." He stopped again as he clamped his lips shut and jumped up. He stumbled away from the bed only to turn to walk backward as he told Bobby in a desperately angry voice, "He better make it or you'll be the only survivor." With that said Dean turned away and ran blindly from the room.

If Sammy didn't survive this dad was a dead man… _I'm so going to hell for that_. Dean thought wildly as he ran down the stairs. As he made it to the front door and slammed through it his thoughts became even more scrambled as his brain kept going; _he'd be twice damned_, once for killing dad and once for doing himself in. He didn't even hear Bobby yell his name from the front porch he was so distraught.

He ran for several minutes before he collapsed against a stack of rusty cars. He drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them as he laid his head down and cried. _He'd always had Sammy around and he wasn't ready to say goodbye_.

After a while of being all cried out he finally raised his head and leaned back against the old rusted out bed of the ford he was propped up against. He banged the back of his head slowly as he sat staring off into space.

Several more minutes later he stood and dusted off. _Down to business_. He had to get back to Sammy. He had to fix this. He had no other choices. He wasn't giving up… not on Sammy. _Never going to happen_, he thought stubbornly.

He headed back to his little brother and the house he was currently sleeping in. When he walked onto the porch he had to smile when Bobby met him at the door and silently held the screen door open for him to walk through.

"He awake?" Dean asked simply.

Bobby shook his head no.

Dean gave him an embarrassed grin as he told him, "Sorry about earlier it won't happen again."

Bobby replied softly, "It's okay, boy. Emotions happen."

"Not to a Winchester." Dean stated firmly with a frown, "Well, except Sammy." Dean amended with another grin.

"It's okay to show you're human, Dean." Bobby told Dean flatly.

Dean replied, "That wasn't showing I'm human, Uncle Bobby. _That _was showing sissy-hood." Dean stated as he walked past and towards the stairs.

"Sissy-hood? What the hell?" Bobby started but Dean interrupted him.

"Chick flick moment from hell." Dean shrugged as he walked up the stairs while he looked back at Bobby. "Dad hates them."

Bobby muttered under his breath, "Yeah, well maybe that's part of the problem."

"What?" Dean asked as he stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down at Bobby.

"Nothing boy. You hungry?" Bobby asked aloud in his normal voice.

"When am I not?" Dean asked heading the rest of the way to their room; as he wandered down the hall and into the room he stopped once again to stare across the room at his sleeping baby brother. "Sammy…" He whispered as he slowly made his way over to him. As he looked down at him he again wondered why he was so sick.

Dean wished his mom was around, she would know how to fix this._ Hell_, it would never have happened in the first place. She would have made sure… Their lives would have been so different if she had only lived. He sat down on the floor next to Sammy's bed and leaned back against it as he watched his brother. He sighed tiredly as he rubbed at his eyes as he thought if mom had lived… he rubbed at his eyes again… dad would have kept his half of the garage… they'd still be in the house in Lawrence. He'd help dad after school and on the weekends when he wasn't busy playing baseball.

Sammy would still be a geek. The brain of the family, probably involved in every after school activity known to man. Mom would be there when they got home from school with a hug and a smile.

_CRAP! _Dean rubbed at his face_. He needed to stop the freakin' what ifs. This… _this was their reality. Their lives. No bed of roses… not even a sleeping bag of dandelions for them. No they got the crap road… Dean stumbled to his feet. He realized he was dog dead tired. He always let his mind wander down useless paths when he was bone weary. He yawned as he rubbed at his face again and then up to his hair as he made it stick up everywhere.

_What was wrong with Sammy_? Maybe he'd caught something in the woods that night. He thought as he paced to keep himself awake. Maybe he could research that area for unexplained illness; he'd ask Bobby what he thought. Sammy would be okay right now if he hadn't stayed and played video games… _who the hell was he kidding_, he'd been flirting with some girl. A girl whose name he didn't even remember.

And now he was going to loose his baby brother? "Sammy…" He murmured out loud, "You can't do this to me…" He whispered while he walked over to the bed. "I can't loose you, too. _I can't_…" His breath hitched as he stopped and walked over to the bedroom closet and slammed his uninjured fist into it. As he shook his hand he hissed in pain while he turned to look around the room as if it held the answers he craved. He rubbed at his eyes once again before he walked back to the bed and his sleeping Sammy.

He barely brushed at the hair that covered Sammy's forehead and fell down to cover his eyes; Sammy startled him when he opened his eyes and blinked up at him. "Sammy." Dean said happily.

**TBC**

**PS: **The site is doing something funky with my chapter. I think I have everything fixed, but let me know if something doesn't make sense. Thx! ~iamtryN


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **In protest for the big wigs being mean and trying not to share… I am sandbox raiding… **Oh, right**… who am I kidding? I been raiding from the beginning I didn't need a reason… _It was all me_… and I'm a big girl I can admit it… smiles!

**NOTE#1**: Thanks for all the wonderful comments and to Kittle for the 'past'! I feel like maybe I've forgotten a thank you for a fix but I'm scatter brained and I can't think at the moment…So, thanks to whomever I haven't mentioned. Migraines make me foggy on the details sometimes… Yes, I am blaming the migraines and I'm sticking to it! LOL Also thanks for favs and alerts! Okay, when I uploaded this time, it underlined everything and bolded in weird spots, huh? What's up with that? But at least this time it left my sentences intact. Looking up! Ha, enjoy!

Chapter 21

"Sammy." Dean repeated as he sat down beside Sammy on the bed a huge grin on his face, "'bout time you woke up. I was about to drop from boredom!"

Sammy frowned in confusion as he asked, "You back?" He gave a quick glance around the room and felt relieved not to find his father there.

"Yeah, little brother. I'm back." Dean stated firmly as he pushed the hair out of Sammy's eyes.

Sammy blinked and his frown deepened as he asked, "Why?"

Dean returned the frown as he asked; his voice acquiring a hint of frustration, "Why the hell wouldn't I be?"

"Busy." Sammy muttered, "It's okay. Don't need me to be a hunter." Sammy gave him a small smile before he again closed his eyes.

Dean snapped quickly, "Quit doing that." _How was he supposed to talk with Sammy if he kept falling back to sleep_? He thought silently as his frustration levels increased.

Sammy's body jerked as he startled at Dean's tone his eyes popping back open to stare wide-eyed at Dean.

Dean took a deep breath before he told Sammy in a quieter voice, "Quit saying shit like that and then passing out before I can respond."

"Sorry." Sammy stated automatically.

"Don't be sorry. _Just stop_… I need my pain in the ass little brother, _okay_? What's the point of being here if you're not?" Dean asked and at the expression on Sammy's face he said with a slight grin, "I'm kinda used to you now, bitch."

Sammy smiled back as he said tiredly, "jerk."

Dean mussed up Sammy's hair as he told him, "Uncle Bobby's making us food. I don't know about you but I'm starving."

"When aren't you?" Sammy commented with a slight grin.

Dean chuckled as he told him, "We'll have… well it's after lunch and before dinner… he's bringing us lunner."

"Lunner?" Sammy questioned with a look of almost disbelief on his face.

"A meal between breakfast and lunch is called Brunch. So it only makes sense that a meal between lunch and dinner is Lunner." Dean explained with a shrug.

"Weirdo." Sammy muttered as his grin broadened the longer he stared at his brother.

"Smartass." Dean retorted with a return smile.

"jerk." Sammy shot back with a full Sammy smile, which always included dimples.

"bitch." Dean replied with a laugh, he was enjoying the bantering back and forth with Sammy. He realized at that moment how he just enjoyed_ being with his brother_.

"Boys… Lunner is served." Bobby announced when he walked into the room.

"See…" Dean said smugly complete with a smirk for Sammy and then he grinned at Bobby for playing along to lighten the mood.

"Thanks, Uncle Bobby. You made him worse." Sammy snarked sarcastically glancing from Dean to Bobby and back.

"I had nothing to do with that. Found him that way." Bobby replied flippantly.

"What way?" Sammy asked enjoying the tension free moment as his look landed on Bobby once again.

"Yeah, what way?" Dean echoed as he watched Sammy's expression.

"Little shit." Bobby commented when he handed Dean a sandwich and then he placed the tray on the end of the bed while he helped Sammy sit up.

Dean laid his sandwich on the nightstand as he fluffed up a pillow for Sammy and then shoved it behind his head.

After he picked his sandwich back up and took a huge bite he asked, "If I'm a little shit, what does that make Sammy?" with a nod towards Sammy.

Sammy was occupied with Dean's mouthful talking at that moment.

"Ewh." he muttered at the same time Bobby replied, "Him? A littler shit."

He handed Sammy a cup of broth.

Sammy looked at it with a grimace before he took it and started to sit it down.

"Nuh… uh, Sammy." Dean admonished Sammy as he put his hand under the cup and steered it back towards Sammy.

"But, D…" Sammy started to argue the whine evident in his voice.

"Don't but D me. You need to at least try." Dean said sternly and then at Sammy's expression Dean added, "Please, Sammy." he waited a couple of seconds before he threw in the two words that always got him his way, "for me."

At Sammy's nod Dean smiled and took another bite this time he kept his mouth shut to Sammy's relief. He thought he might puke just looking at all that food being mauled, mangled and then inhaled by his big brother.

Sammy felt the now familiar discomfort he'd come to recognize right before he'd throw up. _NO, no_… he thought silently, _can't be sick in front of Dean_. He'd given up the concept of not doing it in front of Bobby long ago.

He guessed he trained his body too well… if he had to eat… you eat and then puke. So now he didn't even have to make himself. _Dean would be so pissed if he knew the truth_. But he was finally smaller. Dad would be happy and Dad would see nothing wrong with the way he looked now. Maybe Dean would be okay with it if he built up some muscle? He was just so tired all the time…_ maybe_…

"Run with me?" Sammy asked Dean before it even registered to him he'd asked a question.

"What?" Dean asked shocked his mouth full of his second sandwich.

Bobby had slipped out of the room to get chips and another Pepsi for Dean so he missed the exchange between the brothers.

"Did you just say?" Dean started to ask after he swallowed his mouthful of food.

Sammy gagged and tried to sit his cup of broth down abrubtly ending Dean's questioning.

Dean dropped his sandwich and grabbed the cup from Sammy, even as he cursed only having one hand, he sat it on the side table.

Sammy swallowed convulsively as he tried desperately not to puke; it was apparently now a foreign concept to his body.

Dean quickly sat a bowl in his lap that he'd grabbed from the floor and then grabbed Sammy to pull him up as he rubbed circles on his back. "Jeez, Sammy it was only one sip." Dean bit his lip before he added, "_You gotta eat_."

Sammy fell back on Dean's arm resting his head against it as he closed his eyes. He thought silently, _Dean came back_. This time Dean was back. He smiled as he murmured, "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. _Just keep trying_. You did good. You kept it down." Dean said encouragingly. But inside Dean's own stomach turned as he worried about his Sammy.

Half a cup of broth down and Dean felt victorious. Sammy hadn't thrown up; _at least not yet_, he amended in his head.

Sammy pushed the cup away as he moaned, "No more, D." he held his arms across his stomach to try to ease the cramps.

He'd refused to drink anymore after a couple of tries so Dean had taken over. He'd held the cup to Sammy's lips as he forced him to take little sips or let it dribble down his chin. _Yuk_, he hated how that felt.

Dean looked at him as he held the cup and he bargained, "One more."

"Please, D… I can't." Sammy pleaded as he inacted the puppy dog look.

Dean studied him a few seconds before he gave a quick nod in agreement as he sat the cup down. "I'll make you a deal. You don't throw up what you've already drank and I won't make you drink anymore for a couple of hours." At the frown that appeared from Sammy he added quickly, "Deal?"

Sammy sighed as he tried to slide further down on the bed before he finally whispered, "Deal."

"Good." Dean said when his foot scooted forward he leaned back a little as he tried to stretch, he felt something squishy. "_Shit_." He mumbled as he leaned down to investigate. He picked up his sandwich with two fingers as he murmured, "what a waste."

"Yuk." Sammy commented as he closed his eyes.

"Yep," Dean agreed as he tossed it into the bowl still next to Sammy and then set it on the floor beside the bed.

"Love ya, D." Sammy added sleepily.

Dean grinned as he replied, "Sissy."

"I know you are." Sammy said with a grin as his eyes remained closed.

"bitch." Dean said as he messed up Sammy's hair again. Smiling at the hair when it stood on end he commented, "that's a good look for you."

"Girl." Sammy slurred out tiredly.

"Oh, hell… shut up, _I love you too_." Dean felt the tension slowly leave his body as he joked with his little brother now finally back where he belonged, under his care.

Sammy snickered as he retorted, "sissy."

Dean laughed as he told Sammy, "Just wait until you get better. I'm so kicking your ass." Dean sat watching Sammy as he fell asleep. He knew as Sammy's features relaxed that he was actually going to sleep and not faking it to get out of eating.

**TBC**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer**: I am told I have to say: I do not own anything related to Winchesters, anything Supernatural… except what I make in my own sandbox… _okay, pushy suits_… rolls eyes as says _scratch the last part about the sandbox_. (Satisfied they walk away.) Smirking I lean in to whisper: _Sandbox Raid at Midnight_… Of course on the Winchester sandbox… then tries to look innocent as walks away whistling…

**NOTE#1**: One of my wonderful new FFF mentioned the over 200 reviews and I gotta say, it is very Awesomely cool! I also want to say it is really cool how many new FFF I now how since starting this story. Thanks for the smiles! This has been as awesome experience for me and I want to thank everyone that has made me feel so welcome! As always favs and alerts, cool 2!

Chapter 22

A few minutes went by before Bobby came back in and said, "Head's up." as he tossed a bag of chips at Dean.

Dean caught it one handed as he grinned at Bobby.

"Shit Dean. Sorry boy… I forgot." Bobby said as he walked the Pepsi over and handed it to Dean.

"I forgive you. I know it probably is getting hard to remember things... old man." Dean said and then ruined it with a grin.

"Brat." Bobby commented as he smiled back.

Dean laid his chips down and held out the Pepsi towards Bobby, "How about a beer? I could really…"

"Hell no boy. Are you…" Bobby started with a stern frown.

Sammy interrupted Bobby to say quietly, "Dad lets him. Says if he can do the job of a man; he should be allowed to drink…"

Dean looked at him surprised; he'd really thought Sammy was asleep. Maybe the noise of the chips being caught had woke him up?

Bobby scoffed as he stated, "Well, your dad is…" and then Bobby clamped his mouth shut before he muttered, "Drink your damn Pepsi."

Sammy smiled even though he'd never opened his eyes during the whole conversation.

Dean watched Sammy before he said gently, "Just sleep… I'll be here when you wake."

Sammy slurred out his question, "Promise?"

"Yeah bitch, I promise." Dean said quietly.

"Thanks jerk." Sammy murmured.

Dean sat still several seconds before he moved; now certain Sammy was asleep he turned to Bobby.

He studied Bobby before he asked, "How much has he been eating?"

Bobby sighed as he told Dean, "The broth you gave him is the most he's eaten in awhile. Well eaten and kept down anyways."

Dean ran a hand through his hair as he said, "But that's insane. _And the doctors_?"

"Dean." Bobby said his name in a way that let him know he didn't want to talk about it.

"_And the doctors_?" Dean repeated in an '_I may be 15 but don't fuck with me on this_' voice.

"Dean… later." Bobby said but at Dean's glare he was quick to add, "I promise, boy."

Dean crinkled his nose in frustration as he nodded. He didn't have to like it to understand it. Sammy could overhear what they said and depending on what the doctors had told Bobby it could be bad.

Bobby could tell by the expressions that flickered across Dean's face that he was working through it and coming up with what Bobby needed him to.

They sat a few minutes in silence before Dean spoke up as he held up the Pepsi, "I wish it was a beer."

"Yeah, well, your dad's an idgit." Bobby growled while he shook his head in disgust.

Dean laughed as he said, "Yeah, that might be true but he did supply the beer."

"Not in this house until you're older." Bobby snapped as he added a glare to let him know he meant business.

Dean smiled as he looked over his Pepsi can at Bobby while he asked, "Did he leave my stuff?"

Bobby reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills as he handed them to Dean he said, "John said to make sure you take those. Your bag is outside in the hallway."

Dean frowned angrily as he himself growled, "Did he even ask?"

Bobby knew what Dean was asking, _had John asked about Sammy_. Bobby bit his lip. He wouldn't lie to Dean so he looked away.

"Dammit." Dean snarled as he stood and threw the Pepsi and then the pills at the wall. "Tell him to stay the fuck away. We don't need him. I'll do this on my own."

"Dean." Bobby said quietly.

"What?" He snapped still pissed at his dad.

Bobby sighed as he stood. "You want to talk… I'll be downstairs."

Dean grabbed his arm to stop him and when Bobby looked at him he told him, "Thank you."

Bobby nodded and turned back again to leave the room.

He had talked big to Bobby but he really had no idea how to fix this. Sammy was so sick and he had no idea why.

He stood looking at Sammy asleep and then turned quickly towards the door. He would talk to Bobby and then come back up before Sammy woke.

He found Bobby in the library pouring himself a shot of the 'good' stuff. Dean cleared his throat as he came through the doorway.

Bobby startled and then said smugly, "I'm _old_. I can do what ever the hell I want."

Dean laughed but sobered quickly as he asked, "The doctors they sent him home not knowing what was wrong… why would they do that?"

Bobby swallowed the shot and poured another and threw it back as well.

"Get hammered… I'm not going away." Dean stated as he crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam.

"Dean… doctors don't know everything." Bobby informed him as he took another shot.

"Yeah, but it was enough to panic you and send five hunters out looking for us." Dean commented. As he watched Bobby he knew he didn't want to hear it but he also knew he had to.

"Dean, please just… Sammy seems better now that you're here. Can't we leave it at that?" Bobby begged not quite looking Dean in the eye.

"Uncle Bobby. I can drive to the hospital and steal the records myself. Hold a gun on someone until they talk to me… I can…" Dean ticked off his list but was interrupted by Bobby.

"They told me to notify family and get them here…" Bobby snapped and threw back another shot.

Dean shook his head blinking before he stuttered, "But… I thought you… I… you said…"

"Dean… " Bobby said as he looked at Dean.

"No, " Dean snapped as he straightened up and away from the frame he was leaning on as he let his hands drop, "He's eleven years old."

Bobby stood up as he sat his shot glass down and came around the desk.

"If they don't know what's wrong… how can they just decide he's going to die?" Dean asked desperately as he begged answers from Bobby.

"Dean." Bobby said again as he walked slowly towards him.

"Bobby. Stop. I just… I need you to not touch me right now." Dean stated when he held his hands up as if to ward off Bobby.

Bobby instantly stopped as he held up his own hands up to show Dean he wasn't reaching for him.

Dean started chewing a nail as he thought about what was happening before he dropped his hand and said, "Tell me… did he…" Dean ran a hand through his hair then continued, "Was he worried about us?"

"Yeah, of course." Bobby said as he stared at Dean.

"He read books?" Dean asked.

Bobby's eyebrows shot up as he watched Dean before he finally asked Dean, "What are you thinking?"

"Did he read books while he was waiting for us?" Dean repeated.

"What has that got to do with…?" Bobby started.

"I think… _just did he_?" Dean asked.

Bobby tried to recall Sammy reading during the first couple weeks. "He was reading a book the first week but after…"

Dean nodded as he looked around the room, "Where is the book he was reading?"

Bobby blinked a couple of times as he chewed his lip before he turned and headed for the kitchen. Grabbing a book off the table he handed it to Dean, "What do you think you're going to find?"

"He doodles." Dean commented with a shrug.

"What?" Bobby asked clearly confused.

"When he's upset, he doodles on a paper and then he ends up using it for a bookmark. I used to find out all kinds of shit that way. He just thinks I'm a mind reader."

"When actually you're a doodle reader?" Bobby asked.

"Yep." Dean said absentmindedly as he looked over the paper Sammy had put in the book as his place marker.

**TBC**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer**: Ha, this is not a Declaration of Anything… I own nothing… _**what**_? Midnight? So? I know its midnight… I have no idea what you are talking about… chews lip as watches over suits shoulders as the other Sandbox Raiders sneak past to attack the Winchester Sandbox. It's called diversionary tactics, boys! Grins happily! Cheers! To the Midnight Sandbox Raids!

**NOTE#1**: Here's my thanks to you, my FFF for all the wonderful reviews! A midnight Chapter! Love them (reviews)! Find them very uplifting!

Chapter 23

"Well?" Bobby asked impatiently as he tapped his foot while he waited.

"Umm." Dean murmured as he concentrated on the paper he held in his hand. The page was so full of scribbles that things were run together. This was the most upset he'd ever seen Sammy in his doodles. There was a letter 'D.' (_himself_) with a 'J' (_dad_) getting into a car (_impala_) and leaving 'S' (_Sammy_) and a huge house with a 'B' (_Bobby_) on the porch.

But the 'J' holding a knife and slashing at the 'S' with _blood_? _Was that blood_? Squirting out? _What the hell did that mean_? Dad had never attacked Sammy with a knife that he would remember. Another 'J' in the woods maybe? The thing he wouldn't talk about? He chewed his lower lip as he looked at the rest of the page.

He'd drawn the letter 'D' throwing little m's at the letter 'S'. The night he'd thrown M&M's at Sammy. Ok, that one was easy enough to figure out.

He also wondered about the 'S' that resembled a puffed up marshmallow. _What the hell did that one mean_? Then a needle or something sharp was being poked at the puffy 'S' until it became a small barely visible 's'.

"Dean?" Bobby was waving a hand in front of his face as he tried to get Dean's attention.

"What?" Dean asked still distracted as he tried to figure out what it all meant.

"Why don't you just ask Sammy?" Bobby asked as he led Dean back into the library and into a seat.

"No… no… "Dean mumbled focused solely on the doodles as he studied the page.

Dean finally after another five minutes folded the paper and put it in his pocket then he stood and started with a determined stride towards the door to the hallway.

"Dean." Bobby called out to him.

Dean looked back at Bobby as he stopped to hear what Bobby had to say.

"What do you think about it?" Bobby asked with a nod of his head at Dean's pocket.

"Don't know yet." Dean said as he turned and walked back to the stairway.

Bobby followed him only to stop in the doorway.

"What did they say they thought it was?" Dean asked while he purposely avoided looking at Bobby.

"Dean." He was hoping he had forgotten. Or at least he was distracted and had forgotten for the moment.

"Bobby." Dean used the _I'm tired and please give me a straight answer_ tone.

"Cancer, Dean." Bobby shook his head as he waited for Dean's reaction, it was the last thing Bobby wanted to tell him.

Dean swallowed visibly but said nothing as he turned and walked up the stairs. _Cancer? _Dean stumbled up the stairs as he tried to comprehend what this meant for them. _He was going to loose Sammy to something he had no idea how to fight_? How could you fight something you could not see? This was not a monster he knew how to kill.

But Bobby had said they'd run all the tests and hadn't found anything. _So where had a diagnosis of cancer come from_? It didn't make sense. He couldn't help but think he was missing something important. A big piece of the puzzle of what was wrong with his brother. Dean sighed as he walked aimlessly down the hallway while thinking, _This is fucked up_. He ran a hand through his hair as he wondered _how_ exactly he was going to fix this mess. _Could he_?

Dean went into the bathroom and as he closed the door behind him he stood there with his good hand pressed against the door. Leaning into the door he closed his eyes and bowed his head as he let a tear slid down his cheek. _Who gave a shit if dad thought it was weak_. He was here dealing with it all… so who was _really_ the weak one?

God, _he was so tired_. His head, hand and heart felt like they were on fire. He didn't even notice when he started shaking. All he could see was his little brother the first time he'd ever smiled at him, when he thought Dean was mamma and when he got his first scraped knee. He rested his head against the door as he tried to control his emotions. This was not helping his little brother. Standing in the bathroom feeling sorry for himself.

He pushed himself away from the door and took the paper back out of his pocket. He slowly unfolded it as he opened his eyes and traced an index finger over the doodles Sammy had made. He knew Sammy was trying to talk through this to people who hadn't been listening. He'd been an ass and let his feelings get hurt as he had willingly walked away from someone he'd sworn to protect no matter what.

Sammy wasn't like them. He was like mom. He needed watched and protected. He knew logically that he'd been too young to save their mother but that didn't help the hole get any smaller that had been left behind by her death. Sammy was the good in their fucked up world. The only innocence left in his life. Lord knew his had died long ago.

He looked again at the paper a deflated Sammy to the point of disappearing kept drawing his eye. He frowned as he lifted the paper closer to his face. So, _Sammy felt small_? He was small he was the baby of the family. Nothing new there.

He remembered the night before they came to Bobby's house when Sammy had told him, "I'm nothing like you… it's nice of you to say though." He bit his lip.

He jumped as a knock sounded on the door. "Shit." He mumbled as he folded the paper and carefully pocketed it once again.

A second knock sounded and a jiggle of the door handle.

He backed away from the door and leaned against the sink as the door slowly swung open. Sammy tilted his head to the side and asked, "Why didn't you answer?"

"Busy." Dean commented with a smirk.

"Ewh…" Sammy responded exactly as Dean expected.

"Gutter boy." Dean said with a smile as he tried for a chuckle.

"Bobby's looking for you." Sammy commented.

"So, he sent you to hunt me down? Shouldn't you be in bed?" Dean asked worriedly.

"I have to pee, D. Can you leave now?" Sammy asked as he hopped from one foot to the other.

"I don't know if…" Dean started worriedly.

Sammy pointed at the door and said with a smile, "Get out… jerk."

"Look like a strong breeze would knock you over." Dean stated not bothering to move.

"I will go straight back to bed." Sammy bargained.

"Holler if you need me." Dean said with a frown as he walked out the door.

"Jerk." Sammy replied as he slammed the door in Dean's face.

"bitch." Dean commented.

"I heard that." Sammy said with a giggle.

"girl." Dean muttered as he went to the top of the stairs and hollered down at Bobby, "You looking for me, Uncle B?"

"Yeah," Bobby yelled back from the kitchen there was a slight pause before he added, "Come here a minute."

"Give me a sec. I'll be down in a minute." Dean responded before he turned and went back to the bedroom and made sure Sammy was back in the room. He was lying down with his eyes closed.

He took a couple steps away from the door and further into the room as he told Sammy, "Heading downstairs for a few, yell louder if you need anything."

He heard Sammy sigh before replied, "K, D."

**TBC**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer**: Still alluding capture… they are annoyingly like fairies… shhh don't tell Dean I said that… Hum… They are big strong men and aren't even in the same realm as 'those' things! Basically still don't own, not mine or they'd be stuffed in the Mason jar with those darn fairies! LOL (Kripke is King)

**NOTE#1**: Love all the reviews! Adore them! This is my most reviewed storied yet! (Jumping up and down!) Adore ya all! (Blows air kisses)Thanks for all the compliments and I'm pretty sure that soon my feet will be back on solid ground! Smile! Thanks as well for the favs and alerts… HuGGs 2 all!

Chapter 24

A few minutes later Dean trampled down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen but before Dean could say anything Bobby handed him an apple.

As Dean munched on the apple he asked Bobby what he was doing.

"I'm squeezing oranges what does it look like?" Bobby said sarcastically.

"Why?" Dean asked curiously.

"I'm hoping Sammy will drink it. It will be good for him." Bobby told him absentmindedly as he continued to cut up and squeeze the oranges.

"Then he will drink it." Dean stated firmly.

"Dean… Your dad called a little bit ago." Bobby said with a quick glance before he looked away.

"Why?" Dean asked instantly feeling little surges of anger.

"He wants to talk to you." Bobby replied as he chanced another glance at Dean.

Dean let out a breath as he bit his lip and then silently counted to ten before he snapped, "Me, huh? Not his sick kid… _but me_? Well, tell him to go fu…"

"_Dean_." Bobby chided and then said softly, "I told him he couldn't talk to Sammy without clearing it with you. If you let him then he can see Sammy."

Several different expressions crossed his face before he whispered, "He really wanted to see him?" almost afraid to hope for a positive answer.

"He said he spent all night thinking and then he went to the hospital and talked to the doctors. I think he really feels like shit." Bobby told him quietly.

Dean's lips thinned into a flat line and then he snapped, "Good."

"Dean… will you talk to him? At least hear what he has to say and then if you're still pissed tell him to walk." Bobby said with a shrug as he purposely looked away to give him time to digest everything.

"And then what? We go into foster care and they separate us?" Dean growled pissed he was being put into the situation to even have to consider the option. "_Not fucking happening_." He shook his head to the negative.

"Of course not, you idgit. I have papers saying you two are my nephews. You'd stay with me." Bobby said with finality.

Dean stared at Bobby before he asked softly afraid to hope the answer could be that easy, "You'd do that?"

"Hell ya idgit, I'm doing it now." Bobby said laying down the knife as he looked Dean in the eye.

Dean grinned at Bobby before he clarified, "So if I say no go…"

"Then he will leave." Bobby said firmly.

"He agreed to that?" Dean asked surprised.

"He heard it… and if it becomes necessary he will comply." Bobby said flatly.

"I guess you need to call him?" Dean muttered finally conceding to the terms.

"Naw, he'll be here in about 30 minutes. I told him to wait on the porch we'd meet him out there." Bobby raised an eyebrow as he waited for Dean's response.

"How'd you know I'd agree?" Dean wondered aloud.

"Dean." Bobby said his name like Dean should know the answer to that question.

Dean shook his head and smiled as he threw the apple core in the trash.

"When do you plan on sleeping or taking your medicine for that matter?" Bobby asked when he decided it would be beneficial to change the subject.

"I'm fine." Dean said quickly as he looked away.

"Sure you are kid." Bobby retorted as he shook his head.

Dean grinned at him but his eyes were sad as he looked at Bobby before he turned and went silently in the living room to watch out the window for his dad. He was kind of leery about the meeting with his father.

Did he really want to work it out or was he coming to exert his authority? Show him who the boss was? He really wanted it to be about Sammy; not a pissing contest between them. Twenty five minutes later had Dean pacing back and forth in front of the window and by forty minutes later he threw his hands in the air and headed back to the kitchen.

"He here?" Bobby asked, looking up from the table where he was currently looking at a book.

"Have you heard the 'pala?" Dean asked crankily.

"No." Bobby acknowledged.

Dean shrugged as he took out a Pepsi from the fridge. "I'm going upstairs. He bothers to show up tell him he had his chance. He fucked it up." He said as he took a swig out of the can.

"Aren't you going to hear him out? He might have a good reason for being late." Bobby suggested softly.

"Tell you what. You hear him out." Dean shot back as he stormed out of the kitchen and hurried back upstairs.

It was just like that Christmas when Sammy was eight… and even before he finished his thought his hand absentmindly searched out and clasped his amulet to his chest as he ignored the fact he was doing it with his casted hand. He hadn't shown then either. _But at least this time Sammy didn't know_.

He walked in the room to hear Sammy light snore. He smiled as he walked over and looked down. Sammy was pressed as close to the edge of the bed as he could get. He crawled in between Sammy and the wall and lay down. He was just going to lay there and listen to Sammy and make sure he didn't fall off the bed.

By the time Bobby came up to get him to talk to John he was asleep. He smiled as he turned to leave the room only to find John standing in the doorway.

He stood there a moment before he pushed John backwards into the hallway and closed the door softly behind him.

John snapped angrily, "You can't keep them from me."

"John… if you don't want to lose both those boys you'll calm your ass down and get back downstairs and outside where I left you." Bobby growled low not wanting to wake the boys.

"I need…" John started but Bobby interrupted him with another shove away from the door.

"Yeah, well. Maybe you should have thought a little more before you opened your mouth and spouted the shit you did and _you'd be in there_ with them instead of out here with me." Bobby declared as he motioned for John to head down the hallway.

"If I could just talk to Dean for a minute?" John asked as he stood his ground.

"I'm not waking him… it's the first time he's really slept since he got here." Bobby braced his legs as he folded his arms across his chest. John would have to go through him to get in that room. After a few seconds of staring at each other Bobby sighed as he told John, "John he waited. You were late." Bobby commented as he once again pushed John along on the way down the stairs.

"I bought the boys some gifts." John admitted while going down the stairs.

"They don't need things. They need their dad." Bobby said in a normal voice now that they were close to the bottom of the stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs John turned around and looked up at Bobby, "Bobby I fucked up. I admit that. But I need to fix this, I can't lose those boys." John turned away quickly and walked over and out the front door.

Bobby followed him out as he said, "Well, you did it up royal. But Dean will eventually forgive you."

"And Sammy?" John asked softly.

"Sammy is the easy one." Bobby commented with a half smile.

John frowned at Bobby as he leaned back against the porch rail and faced Bobby as he sat down in one of the chairs.

"So John why are you radiating guilt?" Bobby asked casually after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't know…" John started to deny.

"Don't give me that shit John. I've known you too damn long." Bobby stated tiredly.

"They tell me my son is dying and there isn't a damn thing I can do about. Hell yeah." He commented after he ran a hand through his hair, "I feel guilty."

"But it's more than that." Bobby commented as he stared John down.

John felt as if Bobby was pursuing him like a dog with a bone. "Get the fuck out of my head Bobby." John snapped.

"Tell me I'm wrong John." Bobby demanded once again folded his arms across his chest.

John looked away before he whispered, "I should have been paying attention."

"Well, probably." Bobby added quickly, "but you're here now. It's a step in the right direction."

John ran his hand again through his hair before he commented sadly, "I'm afraid…" John sighed before he added in barely a whisper, "It's too little, too late."

"No. John, it's not." Bobby told him as he moved into a more casual position.

"Why does it feel like it is? Dammit Bobby. He's eleven." John rubbed a hand across his mouth and then his eyes.

"John… those boys need you strong and they need you here. Knowing that you give a damn." Bobby said flatly.

"I'm doing this for them." John was quick to reply.

"Them… are you sure? I thought it was for revenge." Bobby paused briefly when he received a glare from John before he admitted, "It's why I became a hunter. The helping people came later… after the thirst for revenge died away." He pointed his finger at John. "You still have a strangle hold on the anger."

"I have to keep them safe." John retorted with a passion filled tone.

"By taking them in the middle of it?" Bobby questioned; he had never understood this about John.

"By getting them before they get us." John responded quietly as he looked Bobby in the eye.

"Uh… huh. Have you tried to explain that to the boys?" Bobby finally asked.

"Why?" John asked. A soldier did as a soldier was ordered, period._ If you didn't you died._

**TBC**

**TinyNOte**: I feel I must say I'm sorry… it is longer than one chapter for knowledge to arrive to Dean… but hopefully it will be worth the wait… HuGGs? ~Crissi


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer**: I wish I may, I wish I might… have the Winchesters all in a row… huh? That just doesn't sound right… (Shrugs shoulders) Oh, well. They may not be mine… **BUT** I have GPS and I know where their sandbox is… woowho… going raidin'… later first a nap… then their all mine… uh hum… ours! (Smiles sweetly and waves)

**NOTE#1**: My printer is evil, so is family tree maker… hostage taking tree nabbers… sorry I got distracted… LOVE all the Fabulous Reviewers and their wonderful reviews! And of course favs and alerts! Amazing! Rambling! Okay, maybe I need to sleep and try this again later in the am… migraines suck!They are getting old quick... the migraines not the Winchesters! LOL, Enjoy!

Chapter 25

Bobby shook his head as he stared at John before he stated sarcastically, "Well that explains why you're sitting out here. John, Dean's 15 going on 25. You've been treating him like an adult."

John started to protest but Bobby held up his hand as he continued his train of thought, "I'm not saying that's wrong. Just if you're going to treat him as your equal you're going to have to go all the way. You'll have to tell him why you've been such a hard ass with them."

"I don't know if I can." John admitted quietly.

"Why?" Bobby asked curiously.

"I just… I." John shook his head before he muttered, "If they know I'm weak how can they trust me to keep them safe?" John looked at Bobby as a tear slid down his cheek.

The screen door opened as Dean stood in the doorway he told his father, "We've never thought you weak Dad."

John looked startled to see Dean in the doorway.

Dean gave him a sad smile before he told him, "Maybe a bit of a drill sergeant instead of our Dad sometimes. But that's never stopped us from loving you."

"Son." John started and then stopped as he looked away biting his lower lip.

Bobby stood and stretched before he looked at an imaginary watch on his wrist as he said, "Well would you look at that; Time for me to check on Sammy. I'm going to try to get him to drink that juice." and then he slid past Dean into the house; He made eye contact for a second with Dean and patted him on the arm when he slid past.

Dean sighed as he told John, "I regret…"

John jerked back to stare at Dean as he told him, "I was wrong, son. And I feel guilty as hell for the things I've said. Especially now that he's so sick that I can't make it right. I tried to apologize but he…"

Dean interrupted as he held up his hand to silence his father, "What are you talking about?" he asked as he stepped out onto the porch.

"He didn't tell you?" John asked confused, normally Dean was the first one Sammy told everything to. He'd kinda thought that might be one reason Dean was so mad at him.

"Dad." Dean said in a warning voice.

"I said he needed to lose some weight and now… I think God is punishing me for not being happy with just the fact that you guys were healthy." John rushed out before he could think better of it and lie.

Dean rubbed at his temple, his eyes closed as he counted to twenty. Then he dropped his hand as he glared at his dad before he asked in a barely controlled angry tone, "What the hell did you say to my brother?"

"I told you." John replied mulishly.

Dean shook his head before he demanded, "And what did you say to him the night he was lost in the woods?" He was afraid that the pieces that were clicking together were not something he was going to be happy with.

"Nothing before. I was talking to Bobby about keeping him but Sammy wasn't there. He was with you. It was after I got back from the bar… when you were asleep." John admitted honestly but dreading Dean's reaction all the same.

Dean took a step back and placed his hand on the screen door as he asked his dad, "You told him he was too fat to go with us?"

"NO!" John snapped as he thought silently, _he'd told Bobby that_.

"But you did tell him he needed to lose weight. And in the woods you said you'd made the right decision about sending him to Bobby." Dean's jaw was flinching as he tried to sort through what everything meant.

"Dean." John started but Dean once again stopped him.

"Dad… you can't be an ass to Sammy and expect it to roll of his shoulders like it does mine. He's not like us. He's like mom." Dean stated quietly.

"What do you…?" John started only to have Dean interrupt him.

"Dad… he's the good that we have left of mom and if you break him…" Dean stopped and then started again, "If you keep it up w_e will_ lose him."

"Dean… I have to tell you what the..." John tried to tell Dean.

"No. You don't. I'm not losing him. He's not going to die." Dean stated hugging his stomach with his casted arm.

"Dean." John said his name in the _listen to me now_ tone.

"Go back to the motel, Dad." Dean ordered as he pulled the screen door open and stepped back through it.

"Dean. I came to see you." John said in a semi pleading voice.

"You saw me." Dean stated flatly.

"I have to see Sammy." John added desperately.

Dean shook his head no as he closed the screen putting that barrier firmly between them.

"I bought you both some things." John tried again as he stalled for time.

"I just need time to think… can you give us that?" Dean asked in his own slightly desperate tone.

John opened his mouth and then closed it again without speaking.

Dean stared at him unmoving.

"Dean they said we only have…" John said, not ready to stop trying yet.

"Shut up!" Dean yelled as he backed away from the door.

"Dean. Please don't." John held up his hand as he pleaded.

Dean shook his head as he turned and ran down the hall to the stairs. He didn't stop until he got to the bedroom where he stopped in the doorway to catch his breath.

Sammy was sitting on the bed holding a glass of juice and staring at him.

"D, you okay?" Sammy asked as he started to set the glass aside.

"Don't Sammy. You need to try to drink that." Dean said as he shook his head.

Sammy sighed but took a drink so Dean could see him.

Dean smiled and motioned for Bobby to come with him as he backed out the door he told Sammy, "Be right back."

Sammy nodded but he was worried as he watched Dean. Something was bothering his big brother and he'd bet the impala it had to do with their dad.

"What's the hell is wrong with you Dean?" Bobby asked as he pulled the door shut behind him.

"Dad… he said something to Sammy…" Dean said quietly as he asked, "What did Dad say to you?"

"When?" Bobby asked as he stalled for time.

"When he called you about keeping Sammy?" Dean demanded with a frown.

Bobby sighed as he thought silently _he knew this day would come_, aloud he told Dean, "He felt that Sammy would be safer with me."

"Really? He seems to have an awful lot of guilt for saying nothing wrong." Dean said as he walked back over to the door.

"Dean, I think this can wait for another time." Bobby said as he nodded towards the bedroom.

"Yeah, okay get rid of Dad for me would you?" Dean agreed wearily.

"And tell him what?" Bobby questioned.

"_I'll call when I give a damn_." Dean stated dryly.

"Boy. You don't mean that." Bobby said.

Dean's chin jutted out in stubbornness as he turned and walked into the bedroom.

_That's where Sammy learned that_. Bobby thought silently.

**TBC**

**TinyNote: **I know this probably sounds like an excuse but here it is anyways: I woke up again this morning with a migraine that several doses of medicine has not fazed. I've tried to fix any mistakes, but if anything ends up slapping you in the face, let me know, I'll fix it! ;) BTW~ Thx Kittle 4 the Oops findin'!~ iamtryN


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the boys just all the random thoughts bouncing around in my head… I'll trade! _Well, fine then_… no need to be nasty about it… (Folds arms across chest and glares while simultaneously pouting)

**NOTE#1**: Thanks so much for all my FFFs that helped with my 'lots of oops' yesterday… I think I fixed everything! I have discovered it is really hard to proof read with a 4 yr old talking non-stop… LOL! Anywho, thanks for all the wonderful reviews and favs/alerts! Hopefully you enjoy and this chap distracts you for a few minutes from the countdown to the Winchester boys 'Frontierland'. Smiles, loves and HugGS my FFFs.

Chapter 26

Dean walked back into the bedroom as Bobby went back downstairs to talk to John.

"Hey, jerk. That juice gone yet?" Dean asked as he sat down beside Sammy on the bed.

"You're the jerk… not me." Sammy muttered as he lifted the glass to his lips to prove to Dean he was drinking it.

"Just checking to see if you were paying attention." Dean said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He watched Sammy as he thought about the best way to begin their talk and then he bit his lip before he finally asked, "If I ask you something will you tell me the truth?"

Sammy frowned as his eyebrows scrunched up before he managed to stutter out, "I… _what_?"

"Did you hear Bobby and Dad talking the night I found you in the woods?" Dean asked as he watched his brother's facial expressions.

Sammy looked down at his glass before he nodded once.

"Why didn't you come back to me?" Dean asked sounding hurt but not taking his eyes off his little brother.

"D…" He said in a whine as he looked down in shame.

"No, Sammy I need to know." Dean demanded with the hurt remaining in his eyes.

"I never knew Dad felt that way about me." He whispered as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"What? What way?" Dean asked surprised at the tear that ran down Sammy's cheek.

His brother didn't say anything and didn't look up.

"Sammy? Why'd you run?" Dean questioned as he reached out to touch his arm.

He shook his head no.

"Sammy?" Dean said in a stern tone as he grasped his arm causing him to try to turn away from his big brother.

Dean held him in place as he asked, "Why didn't you come back to me?"

Sammy sighed as he spoke so quietly that Dean had to lean in to hear him, "I was… I." He sighed again before he started over, "If Dad felt that way and never told me… I was… I didn't." He finally stopped again as he bit his lip until he tasted blood.

"You were afraid I felt that way too?" Dean guessed as he loosened his grip on his brother's arm.

Sammy nodded as more tears fell.

Dean took his good hand and swiped at his tears as he asked, "Have I ever lied to you?"

"No." Sammy said automatically as he looked Dean in the eye.

"Then trust me when I say I never… _You're the best little brother anybody could have_. I lucked out when I got you." Dean stared intently into his little brother's eyes as he spoke again, "I always thought you were in fine shape and now I'm worried that you're too thin." Sammy couldn't help it, he couldn't keep looking at Dean knowing what he'd done, "I…" A strange look came over Dean's face as he stopped talking and stared at his little brother.

At the prolonged silence Sammy looked up to see Dean staring at him with an unfocused, slightly dazed look in his eyes.

Sammy blinked at Dean as he watched his brother. After a few seconds he reached out and touched Dean's cheek, "D? You okay?"

Dean shook himself as he told Sammy abruptly, "Drink your juice."

"But…" Sammy sounded confused as he tried to figure out what was going on with Dean's sudden change in tone.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Dean suddenly asked, "_Why Sammy_?" as his face took on an almost pained expression.

"What?" Sammy asked as he frowned at his big brother.

"_Why did you do this_?" Dean asked in a voice that sounded close to breaking.

"Huh? I don't…" He tried to say but stopped and stared at Dean's odd behavior.

Dean had jerked away and stood up as he backed up a couple of steps before he said again, "You…" He pointed at Sammy as he demanded, "_tell me you didn't make yourself sick_…" Dean felt a whole body shiver as he closed his eyes. _God_, he begged silently, _please let me be wrong. _

After taking a deep breath Dean looked at him again. He was surprised at how pale Sammy had become.

"I…" He sat the glass down on the side table.

"Sammy… don't even think of lying to me." Dean ordered in a low voice.

His little brother ran a hand over his mouth as he told Dean, in a defeated voice, "I just wanted to be a part of the family."

"Sammy, you are the most important part." Dean stated firmly.

Sammy smiled sadly as he told his hero, "Maybe to you. But I doubt it. You and Dad are a team. Partners. _You don't need me_."

Dean bolted across the room and grabbed him by the shirt front as he growled, "I need you." He gave Sammy one slight jerk forward, "_You stupid... I need you_." he repeated as he let go and once more backed up a step. Dean flexed his fist open and closed as he tried to calm his breathing.

"I'm in the way." Sammy stated as he pulled at a thread on his blanket, "I was too fat to keep up with you guys." He rushed out before he added softly, "That makes me a liability."

Dean took a deep breath. He really wanted to hit something. "Shit." He muttered "And you decided to fix it how?" Dean snarled as he felt the anger rise like an angry tidal wave of fury before he snapped, "By taking yourself out of the equation?"

"No." Sammy looked down as he sighed and then told his brother, "I wanted to make myself… _I wanted to be what you guys needed_ so you'd want me around." He rushed out the last sentence and then bit his lip as he waited for Dean's reply.

"_God. Sammy_." Dean tried to hold back all the emotions that had surged forward. _He hadn't helped that_. He had chosen to stay with some random girl instead of his brother. He'd told Sammy he'd have more fun with Bobby than with them. Everything he'd said to his little brother only cemented his belief that he was unwanted.

"I always want you around." Dean said as he ran a hand through his already messed up hair, "Don't you get it… if you aren't here…" Dean shook his head as his lower lip trembled.

"I'm sorry… once it started I couldn't stop." Sammy said and as he glanced at Dean he told him sincerely, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"_Me_? What about you? Did you mean to hurt you?" Dean asked before he rushed on, "Cause dude… I gotta tell you. Bang up job on that one." amd then threw his hand up in the air in frustration.

"I'm sorry." Sammy said while he swung his legs over the side of the bed he stared intently at the floor feeling the sting of unshed tears.

"You've earned a new shadow." Dean stated firmly with a determined glint in his eye.

"What?" Sammy asked as he chanced a startled glance at Dean.

"You won't be able to make a move without me being there." Dean clarified for him.

"Why?" Sammy whispered softly.

"Bitch… can you honestly ask me that?" Dean asked tilting his head slightly as he watched his brother.

"But you didn't even… It was suppose to be… I was supposed to be fixed before you got back." Sammy stuttered out.

"Dude, there was nothing wrong with you to begin with." Dean stated tiredly.

"I read too much." Sammy said with a slight smile.

"Awh, well there is that." Dean said with a tiny grin of his own.

"You say I snore." His baby brother added.

"You do." Dean agreed as he walked over and made Sammy get back in bed and handed him his juice.

"Dean… I don't want to…" He begun only to be cut off by Dean.

"Ask me if I give a shit." Dean growled gently,"Bobby hand squeezed that orange juice. Do you want to hurt his feelings?" He asked his eyes stormy.

"No." Sammy said looking down again.

Dean sighed as he told him, "I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm going to say this once… _are you listening_?"

Sammy nodded.

"If you ever do anything this stupid again I won't be held responsible for my actions." Dean told him frankly.

Sammy bit his lower lip as he listened to his older brother.

"And I'm sorry for my part in you feeling like you weren't good enough." Dean said sadly.

"D… it wasn't." Sammy started to say because he didn't want his brother to think any of what had happened was his fault.

"Did I say I was done?" Dean asked in a clipped tone.

Sammy shook his head no.

"I should never have left you. I let my feelings get hurt so I left. I tried to call and apologize _instead_ I should have come back." Dean told him his voice full of remorse.

"No… this isn't your fault." Sammy rushed out; afraid he wouldn't get to say it.

"Not done, bro." He waited for him to quit wiggling.

"Sorry." Sammy whispered softly.

"Anything… and I mean anything happens to you and I don't want to be here." Dean said and stared intently at his brother.

"D, you can't." Sammy said with a gasp of the thought of something happening to his big brother.

"Then you can't either." Dean said firmly.

"I don't know if I can fix this." Sammy admitted tiredly.

"I will." Dean declared firmly.

"Dean." He said gently.

"Sammy." Dean countered.

Sammy looked at Dean and then lay back tiredly.

"You rest and then you can drink the juice when you wake up." Dean told him after looking him over to make sure he was okay.

"K…" Sammy said softly with a smile for his brother before he slowly closed his eyes.

Dean watched as Sammy fell asleep and then reached out and ran a hand through his little brother's hair; He didn't bother to hide the tears as they ran silently down his cheeks. They had almost lost him and that was not acceptable. He'd be damned if it would ever happen again!

**TBC**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer**: If they were mine… would I spend so much of my time writing about them? probably not… Who I am kidding? I wouldn't be writing at all… But I am writing… therefore alas they are NOT mine… boowho... Rubs an eye with fist as lower lip trembles…

**NOTE#1**: Thank you so much my FFFs! I enjoy the smiles, giggles, sandbox raids, huGGs, chocolate and time everyone has given me! The encouragement and the oops fixes… even the razeberries are fine! LOL! Love the reviews, favs and alerts!

Chapter 27

John pushed away from the wall and tried desperately not to sob out loud as he hurried down the hall and raced down the stairs. He didn't stop until he made out the front door and out to the impala. He stopped in front of his car and placed both hands on the hood, leaning against the car with his head down, braced up by his hands. His chest heaved he tried to hold back the tears. He realized he failed when a tear hit the hood and rolled down to meet his hand. He felt someone place their hand on his back and he stiffened.

"You talk to them?" Bobby asked quietly. _Dean must have been more brutally honest than ever before_, he thought silently.

John shook his head no.

"Then you overheard them talking?" Bobby guessed aloud.

He nodded yes and then took in a quivering breath before he stood.

"What…" Bobby started to ask but stopped as John turned his way.

John shoulders slumped down in defeat as he told Bobby, "He's sick because I'm a fucking bastard."

"I've known you for years and knowing you're a dumbass has never made me sick." Bobby stated frankly.

John frowned furiously at Bobby as he snapped, "I'm serious… they said he was dying."

Bobby nodded as his smile disappeared.

"It's my fault. He just told Dean that he heard us talking that night and then I made it worse by attacking him later that same night." John looked up at the window to the boys room before he continued softly, "Dean is who he is because I raised him to be that way and then I go and try to take that away from both of them." John ran a hand through his hair before he said in a voice that indicated he was close to losing control of his tightly held emotions. "_God_, maybe the best thing I can do would be walk away now. Let them both have a chance at normal… _awh_… you ass." John snapped at Bobby while he rubbed at his arm where Bobby had just slugged him.

"_Idjit_!" Bobby growled right back. "If you were going to leave them you should have done it when they were babies. You try that now and Dean would just hunt you down… and I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of him finding you. You've raised a powder keg of woop ass and then you want to walk out on him? _Really_? What are you thinking? Sammy already thinks you hate him leave now and that confirms it."

John looked at Bobby as he whispered, "What am I suppose to do?"

"Man up to the fact that you fucked up…" Bobby said bluntly and then added, "And fix this shit with your boys."

John said softly, "Where do I start? Dean's not even talking to me and I haven't even had a chance to talk to Sammy. Hell, what can I even say to fix this?"

"You know what you heard… use it to fix this." Bobby stated as he turned and walked back onto the porch and then held out a beer to John.

Later that evening both boys were asleep when John came in and sat down in a chair he'd pulled over next to the bed from the corner. He sat watching them as he thought back to how Dean was at eleven to Sammy now. Sammy was bigger but he'd looked healthy. Now he just looked bad.

Bobby had told him that he didn't notice anything at first because he'd been throwing up when he'd arrived. He also had appeared to be eating ok until sometime during the third week then he'd just quit eating. Bobby had thought it was because they hadn't called or come back. But John counted back that was about the time he'd called and talked to Sammy. Sammy had asked to talk to Dean and John had lied and told him he was on a date and when Dean was ready to leave town they'd head back. So he'd made Sammy feel like Dean hadn't wanted to be here… _to be with Sammy_. He thought it would build independence for the boys to not be so close to each other.

Anyway he looked at it. _This was his fault_. Instincts told him to be a coward and to run like hell. _This was so much harder without Mary_. Hell, everything was. But Mary would not want that for her boys. He bowed his head as he thought about what he would say to them. _To Sammy_. To make it right.

He was startled out of his musings when a small voice said in a strangled whisper, "Daddy?"

He jerked his head up to stare at Sammy who was staring wide-eyed back at him; he almost looked afraid.

Sammy was scooting closer to his sleeping brother the longer he stared at his dad.

John sighed; he deserved Sammy not trusting him but it still hurt even though he knew it was his fault. I _deserve it, _he reminded himself silently even as he said softly, "Son."

Sammy had paled considerably as he looked quickly at Dean then back to John.

John looked at Sammy as he rubbed at his lips and let his hand run down over his chin as he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Sammy blinked rapidly at him before asking softly, "For what?"

"It seems like when I open my mouth where your concerned I mess up and for that I'm sorry." He stated wearily as he watched his youngest.

"It's not your fault that I'm a fuck up." Sammy replied sadly.

"Samuel… watch your mouth." John reprimanded before he added, "It is my fault that I made you feel like you were a fuck up. Being made different doesn't mean wrong boy." John tried to smile at Sammy before he added, "I think you are more like your mother than me."

Sammy looked down at his hands as he thought, maybe that was why dad hated him he reminded him of her. Aloud he said softly, "I'm sorry."

Dean said without opening his eyes, "Stop apologizing, Sammy."

"I'm sorry, D." Sammy said automatically, glancing quickly at his brother.

Dean chuckled as he opened his eyes to look at his little brother, "I guess we'll have to work on that." he told him with a pat to his arm.

Sammy shrugged as he chanced a look at John.

John watched his boys as he told them, "I bought you guys some stuff to keep you entertained until Sammy is back on his feet. It's on the other bed."

Both heads swiveled to look at the other bed. Their Dad didn't even buy stuff for Christmas; but this looked like unwrapped Christmas. _What the hell_? Dean thought silently, _Just what was Dad up to_? His thoughts headed down suspicious roads.

"Why?" Sammy asked looking at John.

"Why what?" John asked confused by Sammy's why.

"Why all the stuff?" Sammy asked, nodding his head in the direction of the other bed.

"Aren't you bored?" John asked in response.

"Yeah, when has that…" Sammy stopped in the middle of his sentence and turned red as he looked quickly at Dean.

"Normally you don't think about that kind of stuff Dad." Dean jumped in and said.

Sammy gave him a small smile of thanks as he laid back down.

"Well, maybe I should have been." John said embarrassed because he knew it was the truth. He normally thought about the next case, the next town and the next people he needed to save. _Maybe he should have been more worried about saving his own kids_. He thought he had been by doing the job. Now he wasn't so sure.

**TBC**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer**: Not mine… I know… _damn_! Don't rub it in! Jeez!

**NOTE#1**: I _really_ want to go to a Supernatural convention this summer, in July… but darn it… may not be able to because I am moving. When you ask… June/July. See the problem? Ugh! Enough of the sobby whiny poor me… **I love all the FAB reviews and pm's from my FFFs**. Thanks to hotshow and Supernaturalrenegade for all the chatting about... well everything! Also I am Sam is the most faved and alerted story I have with the most reviews, that's SO COOL! My hubby says I'm easily amused… so. The point is? I love everything to do with Supernatural and FF and my new FFFs... ok done with the gush and onto the new chap. Enjoy!

Chapter 28

"Boys." John sighed as he stood and started pacing; he needed to let them know how he felt, but it was so hard to admit weakness in front of his boys.

The boys looked at each other as Sammy turned to stare at John he blurted out, "Please don't take Dean away again… _I'll be good_… I swear!"

John swiveled around to stare at Sammy; it wasn't hard to see Sammy was in full panic mode.

Dean muttered softly as he gave Sammy's arm a squeeze, "Ain't gonna happen, bro."

Sammy smiled gratefully at Dean before he looked back at their Dad.

"Why would you think that?" John blurted out not really understanding where the taking Dean away was coming from.

"You bought all that…" Sammy said with a nod towards the bed.

"Sammy I bought you guys those things to keep you from being bored." John sighed again as he looked sadly at them.

He guessed he deserved Sammy's wariness; he _had_ taken the boys away from each other and _he had Left Sammy. He had even went so far as to make him think he was alone... unwanted... shit_.

"I…" John cleared his throat before he said, "I'm just going to go make you boys something to eat." And he turned and practically ran from the room.

Sammy was staring down at his hands as he mumbled, "I'm sorry, D."

"What'd I say about that?" Dean asked as he propped himself up against the wall to watch his little brother.

"Sor… Ow…" Sammy mumbled as he grabbed his arm where Dean had lightly punched him.

"We are going to make you better… then I'm kicking your ass for scaring the shit out of me." Dean said as he climbed out of the bed at the end and went over to the other bed to look in the bags of stuff. "You sure made Dad feel guilty… looks like he bought out the store."

"I wasn't trying to." Sammy said looking like he was about to apologize again.

"I know… _hey, checkers_." Dean commented distracted, grabbing the box of checkers to look it over.

"Later? I'm kinda tired." Sammy said softly.

"But you just woke up…" Dean argued as he dropped the box of checkers on the bed and then as he noticed how pale Sammy was turning he asked, "Hey, you're not going to puke are you?" he dropped the magazine he had picked up back in a bag as he took a step back towards his little brother.

Sammy shivered as he told Dean, "I'm just can't seem to stay warm."

"Why didn't you say something?" Dean asked as he walked over to the closet and yanked the door open, "I left your quilt here last time we were here so it wouldn't get left behind somewhere else. How bout that one?"

"It's here?" Sammy asked surprised before he said, "Cool… thanks… uh, D?"

"Yeah?" Dean asked as he pulled Sammy's quilt out of the pile of blankets in the closet.

"Dad." Sammy sighed before he continued, "Why do you think he hates me?"

"What?" Dean stopped what he was doing to turn and stare at Sammy. "Where did you get a dumbass idea like that?" Dean snapped flipping the quilt open and shaking it out before he covered Sammy with it. He tucked the quilt in around Sammy as he waited for him to answer.

Sammy looked down to stare at his hands as he said quietly, "Forget it. I didn't mean to say that."

"Well apparently you've been thinking it or it wouldn't have popped out, huh?" Dean asked as he sat down beside Sammy.

Sammy nodded as he lay back against the pillow, "Can I sleep for a little while?"

"No, I'm going to make you stay up and check out this stuff with me…" Dean replied sarcastically but at Sammy's wide eyed look he sighed as he told him, "Of course you can, jerk." He mussed up Sammy's hair but ruined the affect by pushing Sammy's bangs out of his eyes.

"You're the jerk." Sammy retorted with a yawn.

"Gotta keep you on your toes, bitch." Dean commented back with a grin. "I'm going to go down grab a sandwich, soda and chips and be right back, k?"

"You don't have to be in here when I sleep, D." Sammy said even though he really wanted him to be.

"Yeah well, when is there any other time I can draw shit on you that you don't notice?" Dean grinned even wider as he added, "Besides I want to be the first one to play checkers with you when you wake up so I gotta be first in line."

Sammy smiled at Dean as his eyes drifted closed; now that he was finally warm he might actually sleep for a longer amount of time. It seemed like he'd just get to sleep and he'd be awake again. He felt like he was never going to get enough sleep.

Dean waited until Sammy's breathing evened out before he headed downstairs. He needed food; he felt like he was starving.

Meanwhile John had made it to the kitchen to find Bobby reading a medical book. "Bobby."

"John." Bobby echoed in the same tone John had used without looking up from his book.

"They were wrong, weren't they?" John asked in an almost pleading voice.

Bobby looked up to study John before saying in a low voice. "I believe that it's not adding up right."

John sighed before he told Bobby, "Sammy was afraid I was taking Dean."

"Why would he think that?" Bobby asked still distracted by the book.

"I don't know. Maybe cause that's what I did last time?" John snapped angry at himself for not being able to make a quick escape out of the mess he had created.

"Don't get bitchy with me, John." Bobby growled back.

"Hey guys." Dean said as he walked in pretending like he hadn't been listening to them.

"Dean." John said softly as he watched Dean for any signs about what he might be thinking.

"Dad?" Dean said with a half shrug and a _what do you want_ expression.

"He asleep?" Bobby asked with a glance up from his book to stare at Dean.

"Would I be down here if he wasn't?" Dean asked with a _duh_ tone of voice.

Bobby rolled his eyes as he said dryly, "What was I thinking? Plate of sandwiches in the frig, soda beside it…"

Dean grinned and started to ask where his chips were when Bobby interrupted him, "Chips are already on the table."

Dean pulled open the door to the frig and grabbed the plate and set the soda on the plate so he could carry every thing one handed and kicked the door closed with his foot. Sitting everything down he plopped into the nearest chair. Taking a huge bite of his sandwich he said, "What?" when he kept being stared at by his father.

John asked Dean, "How do we fix this?"

"You really want me to tell you what I think?" Dean asked as his eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes, Dean." John said with a sigh.

"Well… first you." Dean swallowed and sat the rest of his food down as he continued, "You need to remember Sammy is his own person."

"Dean…" John sighed again.

"Dad…" Dean frowned at John before continuing, "He's not a carbon copy of me and you and I wouldn't want him to be."

"I don't treat him like I." John started but Bobby interrupted him, "Do you want him to tell you what he thinks or not?"

John closed his mouth and leaned back as he waited for Dean to continue.

"You got to let him know you love him just the way he is." Dean stated and then added, "Quirks and all."

"I do… just because I don't do all that touchy feely crap doesn't mean." John said as he tried to defend himself.

"Dude, he's eleven." Dean butted in to say as he rolled his eyes.

"So?" John said his confusion evident in his expression and his tone.

"He's a really good kid. But you're always telling him what he's doing wrong. I know he's clumsy and a little slow, but he will outgrow it… _I did_. But you can't ride his ass until he does. It's only going to make all of us miserable." Dean said gathering up his plate, drink and bag of chips.

"Where are you going?" John asked feeling a truck load of frustration welling up, "You're just going to slam me and run?"

Dean gave a small smile as he replied, "You asked dad."

**TBC**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer**: I know I don't own; but I do love the sandboxes… smiles! and did I mention I love the boys?

**NOTE#1**: **Thank you all! 300+ Reviews is freakin' totally awesome! Thank you all, it is truly amazing! LUV, KISSuz and HUGGS! **

Chapter 29

When Dean made it upstairs he was surprised to find Sammy not in bed. He quickly sat everything on the nightstand and went looking for his AWOL little brother. Dean searched the entire upstairs and attic. He wasn't anywhere upstairs.

He came rushing downstairs as he hollered, "Dad. Bobby?"

They met him at the kitchen door mirroring concerned expressions.

"Have you seen Sammy? He's not upstairs." Dean rushed out not able to hide the panic he felt as it started to bleed through into his voice.

"Well he couldn't have gotten far; he's weak as a newborn kitten." Bobby commented as he tried to reassure Dean.

"Well that make me feel so much better, Bobby." Dean retorted back as he searched the downstairs.

"I'll look in the basement." John said as he started for the basement door.

"No. He won't go down there without me; besides did you see him pass you?" Dean stated as he headed for the front door.

"I'll check the back part of the yard then." John said as he changed direction to head towards the back door.

"I'll check the outbuildings and the stacks." Bobby added as he followed John out the back.

"Sammy!" Dean called from the porch. He could feel his heart speed up and his breathing become rapid as his panic level increased. He looked around as he tried to think where Sammy would go. _Why the hell had he even left the house_? Dean wondered frantically.

The impala sat gleaming in the light. She seemed to beckon him to her and before Dean really thought about it he was beside the car and looking in the back window. Sammy's quilt was there on the back seat but Sammy wasn't. He was about to call out to his dad when he heard a retching sound near the side of the stack of flattened trucks. He raced over and found Sammy on his knees as he threw up.

He fell to his knees beside Sammy and grabbed him around the shoulder with his arms, not thinking about his casted arm as he held onto his baby brother.

Sammy sagged against Dean as he told him. "I can't…" and Sammy was throwing up again.

"Sammy what the hell?" Dean asked as he turned his head and yelled behind him, "Dad, Bobby over here!"

Sammy was crying and throwing up at the same time as he tried to talk, "Can't stop." He gasped out before he was throwing up again.

"Dude, you don't have anymore in your stomach… how can you still be puking?" Dean asked worriedly.

John and Bobby raced over and came to a stumbling stop beside them.

"That's it…" Bobby snapped as he looked down at the boys, "A friend called and told me something to try but he'd quit vomiting, so I didn't make any."

"Friend?" John asked as he looked up from where he was knelt beside the boys.

"Kitty… she said her daughter had almost the same symptoms and this stopped her from puking."

"And you're just now telling me this?" John snapped pissed off that he seemed be the only one out of the loop on this thing with Sammy.

"Actually, I was reading about it when you came down stairs. I was going to discuss it with you after I had all the facts." Bobby snarled as he told them, "Let's get him back inside."

"His quilt's in the car, will you get it?" Dean asked Bobby as John took a dry heaving Sammy away from him.

Dean followed John closely as Bobby followed up the rear.

John sat Sammy down on the couch.

Sammy fell back exhausted as the dry heaves finally stopped.

John and Dean flanked either side of Sammy as Dean asked Bobby, "What's the cure?"

Bobby smiled as he said, "Fresh onion juice and peppermint tea. It's an old family recipe. She swears it will work."

"You're telling me onion juice and peppermint will stop puking… I would think it would make it worse." Dean commented as he curled his nose.

"Dean the recipe is on the table on how to do it. Go read it." Bobby told him shaking his head as he added, "You can help me make it while your dad entertains Sammy."

Dean frowned as he started to protest, but looking over he saw Sammy was asleep. "Okay. But that's going to stink." Dean commented as he headed for the kitchen to get a look at the recipe himself.

He found a piece of paper on the table where Bobby said it would be in Bobby's unmistakable handwriting, _Onion Juice Recipe: _

_1. Prepare peppermint tea and allow to cool._

_2. Grate an onion and squeeze the pulp through a cheese cloth (if desperate, just use a paper towel). Make __**1 Tablespoon of Fresh Onion Juice**__._

_3. Hold your nose and swallow the onion juice. _

_4. Follow with just 1 Tablespoon of peppermint tea. Wait ten minutes. Take another Tablespoon of peppermint tea. Wait 15 minutes. This remedy should stop vomiting within 15 minutes, according to Kitty. The peppermint tea helps to re-hydrate you._

When Dean finished reading, he laughed as he looked up at Bobby while Bobby put on a kettle of water for tea on and grab the grater out of the cabinet. "Grab me an onion out of the onion bin."

"You have an onion bin?" Dean asked, looking around curiously.

"Yeah, right next to the potato bin, idgit." Bobby said with a grin as he got a cheese cloth out of the drawer, grabbed a bowl and the grater and came over to the table.

"You really going to make Sammy drink this?" Dean asked, curling his nose once again.

"Yep." Bobby replied as he glanced at Dean.

"You said Kitty's daughter had similar symptoms? Did she… is she." Dean stopped talking as he looked at his hands, before he laid the onion on the table.

"She's fine. She has an eating disorder. I think Sammy may too." Bobby told him bluntly.

Dean tilted his head to the side as he asked, "What? Sammy doesn't…" He stopped and bit his lip.

"What Dean?" Bobby asked as he looked up from the onion he was grating.

"Boys don't have those kinds of problems. Girls worry about that kind of thing." Dean stated as he tried to work things out in his head.

"What? The _'I got left behind because I'm too fat to keep up' _kind of thing?" Bobby asked harshly.

"I never said…" Dean snapped instantly pissed off.

"No." Bobby agreed before he continued, "But if Sammy overheard your dad then he knew what your dad thought."

Dean sat down hard as he thought about what he and Sammy had talked about, "He did say he heard dad that night… he just told me… he was afraid I felt the same way." Dean said softly as he looked up at Bobby. "How do we make him better?"

"Kitty says it's a long process. But first we stop the throwing up and then we get healthy things in him. Then we work on his feeling worthless." Bobby told him as plainly as he could without getting into everything at the moment.

"Hey." Dean jumped up.

"Hold your purse strings there cowboy, I said _his feelings_… as in he feels this way and we need to change that." Bobby said, not pausing in what he was doing.

Dean smiled wanly as he sat back down. After a few seconds Dean commented, "Cowboys don't have purse strings. They have saddlebags."

Bobby threw back his head and laughed as he got the last of the onion ready and went over to make the tea.

Dean asked as he followed Bobby around, "And this won't make him sick?"

"No, Dean. It will stop it." Bobby sighed as he thought silently, _if he asks just one more time…_

**TBC**

**TinyNote: I actually got this recipe from the internet on a home remedy blog, it was an old family recipe of the girl that posted it. I wrote down who and where so I could post it with the story but I can't find it now… ugh! I didn't think you'd want me to wait until I located the info so…**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer**: Sandboxes are awesome! Especially the Winchesters! Yep, I might have already mentioned that… once or twice or 23 times! But whose counting! LOL… and no they are still not mine. (pout)

**NOTE#1**: **YOU GUYS ARE AWE**SOME! Or to borrow from my new FFF from GB, You **are BLOODY BRILLIANT**! Thanks so much for the reviews, favs and alerts!

Chapter 30

Bobby handed Dean the tablespoon while he carried the small bowls of onion juice and peppermint tea into the living room. After sitting everything down he told John, "We need to wake him up, have him hold his nose and down the tablespoon of onion juice. Then we got to follow that by a tablespoon of peppermint tea and then we wait ten minutes. After that one more tablespoon of peppermint tea. Within fifteen minutes there should be no more throwing up."

"How long does it last?" John asked as he looked doubtful.

"I don't know." Bobby snapped peevishly as he glared at John, "When he starts to puke again we'll give him more."

John nodded and woke up Sammy. "Son you need to take this… um medicine so that you won't throw up."

"Not throwing up… sleeping." Sammy mumbled as he tried to turn away from John and go back to sleep.

"Sammy come on, dude." Dean added as he reached over and patted Sammy on the arm.

Sammy immediately tried to sit up.

John raised his eyebrows as he looked at Dean.

Dean shrugged as he smiled, "Got the touch." He mouthed at his dad.

"Open up." Bobby said as he aimed a tablespoon of onion juice at Sammy. Dean reached over and pinched Sammy's nose shut as Bobby shoved the tablespoon in.

Sammy struggled slightly before John ordered, "Swallow that Sammy and Dean will let go. It'll taste a whole lot better this way."

Sammy swallowed as he muttered sullenly, "How would you know?"

Bobby quickly filled the measuring spoon up with peppermint tea and headed back towards Sammy's mouth as he told him for a second time, "Open up."

Sammy snapped, "Hell, no." And clamped his lips shut.

Which caused Dean to howl with laughter. At John disapproving look Dean stopped laughing and asked, "What? It was funny."

Sammy smiled at Dean before John ordered once again, "Sammy now."

Sammy obediently opened his mouth and swallowed the tea. "Yuk… what the heck? Is that onions?" he asked as he gagged slightly.

"Better you than me buddy." Dean said with a smirk and a wink.

"Keep it up, boy. There's a dose here for you too." Bobby said with a smile as he glanced at Dean.

"You don't have to threaten me." Dean muttered sullenly.

John looked at his watch. "Ten minutes." Dean nodded as he quickly glanced at the living room clock.

"Wait… What ten minutes?" Sammy asked as he leaned back on the couch.

"Want to go back upstairs?" Dean asked as he tried to distract his little brother.

"I'm tired of upstairs." Sammy replied crabbily.

"Well we could see what dad bought us…" Dean suggested with a smile.

"Okay." Sammy agreed because he knew Dean really wanted to see what was up there.

He started to stand only to sway on his feet.

John swept him up and took a step.

"Dad I'm a big kid now. I can walk." Sammy told him followed by a yawn.

John chuckled as he told Sammy, "I already have one kid with a broken arm, I don't need another when you fall back down the stairs because you're balance is off."

Sammy sagged against his dad as he admitted, "I am kinda tired."

Dean looked at John worriedly as he told Sammy, "I'll be right behind you. I'm just going to grab your quilt."

Sammy smiled as he told Dean, "K, don't be too long or I'm claiming it all for myself."

"bitch." Dean murmered as he smiled at Sammy.

"jerk.' He muttered back as John headed out of the room.

A few minutes later Dean trampled up the stairs and as he stomped into the room John put a finger to his lips as he murmured, "Shh, he's asleep."

"Again?" Dean asked as his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Yeah, but I have to wake him in five minutes. You can wait that long, right?" John asked with a small grin.

Dean shifted from one foot to the other as he said softly, "Yeah… but can I ask you something?"

"What?" John replied watching Dean, curious to know what he wanted to ask.

"Why did you buy all this… it's not your style." Dean glanced quickly at him before looking away to watch Sammy.

"I separated you because I was being an ass. I spoke with the doctors, Dean. They don't…" John stopped talking and swallowed hard.

Dean shook his head in denial as he told his father, "_Bobby_…" his voice broke causing him to stop and start over, "Bobby's been researching… he's think he's got a lead."

"Dean." John said sternly.

"Dad… I'm not discussing it. We need to wake him up to take his other tablespoon." Dean stated as he walked over and gave Sammy a slight shake.

John glared disapprovingly at Dean but plastered on a smile when Sammy moaned and muttered, "Tired… lemme alone." as he swatted at Dean.

Dean watched as Sammy shivered involuntarily to which he leaned over to grab the quilt from the end of the bed and pull it up over his little brother.

Sammy snuggled into the blankets smiling at the sudden added warmth.

"Samuel." John said as he moved closer he readied the tablespoon. "Wake up long enough to take this."

Sammy opened his eyes and groaned as he stated emphatically, "No more onions…"

"It's peppermint tea so open up." John stated firmly.

"Dad." Sammy whined.

"Samuel." John said firmly to which Sammy immediately sat up and opened his mouth.

Sammy swallowed and verbalized a yuk.

"I made you a special shake, I'll just run down and get it for you." John said as he stood to walk away.

"You didn't put onions in it did you?" Sammy asked with a shudder.

John grinned at Sammy before turning and leaving the room, leaving his question unanswered.

Dean lifted him forward and shoved a pillow behind him and then turned to grab a bag off the bed and sat down in the chair their dad had just left.

Looking in the bag he said, "What do you want first? Fun or brain food?"

"How 'bout fun brain food?" Sammy asked as he leaned back into the pillows.

"No such thing, dude." Dean commented as he reached in and grabbed something and placed it on Sammy's lap, "This has got to be yours it's too boring a book for me."

"What? _The Stand_? Boring? You're kidding right? I read this when it first came out and it scared the shit out of me." Sammy told his brother excitedly.

"Dude, it came out what? A couple years ago… I don't remember you lugging a book that big around." Dean stated as he frowned at Sammy.

"I didn't. I read it in the library. I spent like 2 weeks of lunches in there." He commented with a slight grin.

"Stephen King… aren't his books suppose to be from dreams he has? That would be one creepy ass mind to have to…" Dean commented as he rummaged through the bag.

"Dean… his books are really popular." Sammy cut in to say as he set the book down beside him.

"Yeah well I live it, why the hell would I want to read about it too?" Dean stated bluntly as he continued to look in the bag and said in a delighted tone, "_Hey, slinky's_." Dean said tossing one at Sammy and opening the other. "Love the sound of these." Dean commented as he let it slink from one hand to the other.

Dean paused long enough to point at the checkers game. "And checkers."

"Ya know we can't take this with us… if we do they'll just get left behind somewhere." Sammy said quietly with a hint of sadness.

Dean nodded as he commented, "I know, but at least here we have them when we come back to visit."

Sammy nodded in agreement.

**TBC**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer**: They thought they could hide the sandbox from me… Suits. They will never understand us. I was helping them move the sandbox and almost gave myself away by giggling… hehe. I helped them move it… right next to mine. Convenient, huh?

**NOTE#1**: 300+ Reviews… I am stunned! WOW! Thank you all my FFF! Thanks as well for all the favs and alerts! Heard Season 7 is a go!

Chapter 31

Dean stared at Sammy for a few seconds before he asked, "Since you already read the book, you want me to have dad take it back?" Dean smiled as he waited for the reply he knew was coming from his little brother.

"No… and don't tell him I already read it. I can read it again… Besides it's my own copy." He replied as he watched Dean waiting for him to say what was really on his mind.

Dean smiled as he thought, _there he is_, Sammy is back!

"So, are you too old for comics?" Dean asked seriously as he looked down into the bag.

"Are you?" Sammy countered.

"No. It's research. It's different." Dean said smugly as he tossed a handful of comics at Sammy.

"You're full of shit you know that, right?" Sammy asked with a grin.

"Samuel Winchester. Where the hell did you pick up that mouth you been using lately?" John asked as he walked in with a glass and a sandwich. He handed the sandwich to Dean and the glass to Sammy.

"Gee dad I have no clue. _We _sure as _hell_ don't talk like that _do we_?" Dean said with a smirk.

"Smartass." John said with a grin of his own and then he added, "Bobby's making fried chicken for dinner. That's to tide you over until then." John nodded at the sandwich in Dean's hand.

"Cool." Dean replied with a mouthful of his first bite.

"Yuk. D." Sammy commented as he tried to stall the having to drink whatever it was that Dad had made.

Dean opened his mouth and showed Sammy and then added, "Don't look then dude."

"Dean close your mouth and eat." John admonished and then he turned his attention to Sammy. "Drink that."

Sammy curled up his nose as he sniffed at the odd colored concoction, looking up he told his dad, "It smells funny."

"Hold your nose then but you're going to drink it." He told Sammy firmly.

Sammy sighed like he was dreading what was coming next, held his nose and took a small sip. He let go of his nose too soon and gagged.

Dean surged to his feet but John waved him back.

John sat down on the bed beside Sammy, rubbing Sam's arm as he told him, "It's loaded with vitamins that you need. I need you to try to drink it k, son?"

Sammy looked up at John and bit his lip as he nodded. Then still very reluctant he held his nose and took another sip.

John nodded approvingly.

Dean finished off his sandwich as he asked, "What's in that anyway?"

John looked at Dean and shook his head slightly signally Dean to stop asking. Dean made a silent 'O' and turned to the stuff on the bed. He rummaged through a couple of bags while he waited on Sammy to finish his drink. After about half the glass Dean called out, "Hey Dad."

"What?" John asked from the window he had been staring out of for at least five minutes.

"Sammy's turning green. You might want to tell him he can stop now." Dean suggested hovering over Sam as he waited for his dad's answer.

John studied Sammy for a couple of seconds before he nodded yes that Dean could take the glass.

Dean held out his hand and Sammy smiled gratefully up at him as he lay back against the pillows feeling exhausted.

John was staring out the window as he turned to stare thoughtfully at the boys.

Finally Dean asked, "What?"

"Want to play poker?" John asked in a low tone as if he was almost afraid they would say no.

"For real?" Dean asked excitedly.

Again John nodded.

Dean headed towards the door, "I'll go ask Bobby if he has a deck…"

"No." John said and at Dean's look he told him, "Look in the red bag."

Dean flashed one of his grins that girls adored and grabbed the bag looking in he said excitedly, "Two packs and poker chips… cool. Right, Sammy?" He asked glancing over at Sammy. "Shit." he muttered, "He's asleep again. When is that going to stop? It weirds me out."

John sighed as he too looked at Sammy, "I know but… we just have to be patient and take care of him."

Dean rolled his eyes as he laid the bag back down and told his father. "I'll go ask Bobby for a card table and another chair."

"You want to see if he wants to play?" John asked as he walked over and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Yeah, sure." Dean said with a shrug as he hurried from the room. To tell the truth all the staying in one place was starting to make him antsy. He figured that would go away as soon as Sammy was mobile again. As he turned the corner into the kitchen he found Bobby cutting up the chicken to fry.

"Hey Bobby, want to play poker with me and dad?" Dean hollered across the room.

Bobby gave a muttered curse and Dean snickered as he waited for Bobby's answer.

Bobby turned to look at him as he replied, "Naw, I'm cooking… Sammy asleep again?"

Dean frowned as he told Bobby, "Yeah, he falls asleep so easy it… worries me."

Bobby sighed as he said wearily, "I know, boy. I tell you what. I'll play that game of poker with you and Sammy. We can team up… play partners."

Dean grinned as he retorted, "Me and Sammy against you and Dad."

"Of course." Bobby said as he grinned back at him.

"We will stomp you guys." Dean bragged as he stated, "The Winchester brothers are unstoppable." Then he frowned before he changed the subject. "Do you have a card table and extra chairs?"

"There in the spare bedroom that your dad uses. In the closet." Bobby turned back to the sink but said, "Take a beer for your dad and a soda for you."

"Thanks, Uncle Bobby." Dean said grinning as he grabbed the drinks from the refrigerator.

"By the way, tell your dad I just off the phone with Jamie Norton. He'll be here in the morning." Bobby said without looking at Dean.

"Who's that?" Dean asked curious as usual.

"A doc we saved about 4 or 5 years ago from his reanimated patient." Bobby replied as he pulled the flour and bowls out of the cabinet.

"Wow, a zombie…" Dean whistled as he leaned against the doorframe and continued, "Was it voo doo? Or something else?"

"Voo doo priestess that didn't like being ignored by the good doc so she killed one of his patients and…" Bobby replied with a shrug and a grin over his shoulder at Dean.

"Is he good? Can he help fix Sammy?" Dean questioned.

"Yeah, he's one of the best." Bobby replied.

"Why wasn't he here before then?" Dean questioned as he felt like maybe he was missing something important.

"He was out of the country. When I finally tracked him down, he headed back this way. I have to go pick him up at the airport." Bobby answered quietly.

"Your town has an airport?" Dean asked, joking with his surrogate uncle.

"Dean… your dad is waiting." Bobby reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going." Dean pushed himself off the frame and turned to go back upstairs.

**TBC**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Still… no matter how hard I try… but it's okay… the sandbox moved next door. And of course Z... I will share... Sandbox Party! Remember you r member #2 of the Sandbox Raiders! LOL

**NOTE#1**: This is my Thank you for the boat load of reviews! LOve them! Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs and alerts! I really appreciate all the encouragement, laughs, smiles and funny shit that you guys tell me and of course new FFFs! Thank you for the awesomeness of **you all**! So here you go 2 chaps in 1 day! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 32

Dean brought in the chair one handed causing John to stand up and reprimand him as he told him, "I thought you were asking. _Not carrying_. Tell me where the table is and I will go get it."

"In the closet in your bedroom." Dean said as he opened the chair and sat in it.

"Be right…" John started but Dean interrupted to tell him.

"Hey, dad… Bobby said to tell you Doc Norton is going to get here tomorrow, he has to go get him from the airport." Dean told him as he opened up the chair.

John stopped and stared at Dean before finally snapping, "Jamie… fucking Norton?"

Dean snorted before he snarked, "Sorry Dad, didn't catch the middle name." He shrugged as he told his dad, "I…"

John growled, "I'm going to go talk to Bobby." and he stalked off.

A few minutes later Dean was surprised to hear yelling from downstairs between John and Bobby. When it didn't quiet down after a couple of seconds he headed down. He stormed into the kitchen and straight in between John and Bobby.

"Knock it the hell off! You're going to wake up Sammy and scare him over what? A pissing contest over who can yell louder than the other. I don't care. Settle it quiet!" Dean snapped as he turned and left the room.

Both men were staring after Dean, stunned into silence.

"Fine. But if he does something quacky I'm going to kill him." John stated firmly.

"John, he's working on a radical new program study that's having fantastic results. He wants to try it with Sammy." Bobby said tiredly.

"No." He replied firmly.

"John, we have nothing to lose." Bobby told John gently.

"We have Sammy." John replied with a touch of anxiety.

"And if we do nothing _we will _lose him. This way he has a chance." Bobby said with a hint of regret for having to be so blunt with his friend.

"What is he doing and where?" John demanded.

"It's an intravenous system for two weeks and then if he improves significantly we switch to injections three times a day." Bobby informed him.

"What kind and where he is conducting this study?" John questioned.

"It's got vitamins A and C and he said he would explain the rest in the morning. He's working in Germany at a University over there." Bobby told him.

"And you trust him with Sammy?" John asked suspiciously.

"What happened with Contessa was not his fault. By the time we got her to him… _you know_, John. That's why he no longer works here in the US." Bobby replied.

"He lost his license?" He guessed.

"No. He chose to leave." Bobby told him.

"If he makes him worse… I will kill him." John stated and walked out of the room.

Bobby let out an explosion of bent up air; "Shit…" he muttered… _that was one tough sale_.

Bobby finished up on the dinner while he wondered if bringing Jamie in on this was such a great idea after all. John was pissed… but he thought _I gotta do what I gotta do for the boys_.

John stalked into the bedroom. He quickly set up the table and then he sat down at it.

Sammy and Dean had been talking quietly as they waited for John to return and when he sat there staring at them; they sat in silence and stared right back.

"Well, Sammy you feel up to dealing?" John finally asked.

Sammy grinned _he never got to deal_, as he said softly, "yeah, cool."

John stood up and scooted the table as close to the boys as he could then sat back down.

Dean picked up the poker chips and handed it to John. Then he handed the unopened deck of cards to Sammy. After Sammy opened them and started shuffling the cards Dean asked John cautiously, "Who is Doc Norton? You don't seem to like him much."

John jerked his head up to stare at Dean. After a minute or two he sighed then said softly, "When I met Bobby he was working with a couple of woman."

Dean whistled…

John glared as he snapped, "Do you want to hear this or not?"

Dean clamped his lips shut and stared.

John started again. "Kitty and Contessa. Sisters. So for a number of years the four of us worked cases together. Until Contess got hurt. Doc Norton… I felt he was responsible for her not making it. Well, after Kitty retired to just researching Bobby and I… well we don't work well with others now."

Sammy was staring wide eyed at John while he shuffled the cards.

"Are you going to deal those cards, boy?" John asked with a grin that didn't reach his eyes.

They had been playing for about half an hour when Sammy kept nodding off; jerking himself awake to stare wide eyed around the room. After about the tenth time, John said, "I'm calling it for now boys. Why don't you both rest until dinner's done. I'm going to go see if Bobby needs any help finishing up."

"But dad… "Sammy whined.

"But dad…" Dean mirrored at almost the same time.

John laughed and then he turned serious, "That's an order."

Both boys echoed, "Yes, sir."

"Good. I'll be back when dinner's done." He said as he grabbed the drink he'd made earlier for Sammy to throw the rest out.

Sammy lay down and watched Dean as he pushed all the stuff on the other bed to the end of it and lay down.

"What, Sammy?" Dean asked curious.

Sammy replied, "Nothing."

"Sammy, why did…" Dean stopped and then started over, "How you feeling?" He asked as he laid his head down on his pillow and stared at Sammy.

"Tired… why?" Sammy asked.

"No… I mean how do you feel? About me… Dad…" Dean bit his lip as he waited for an answer.

Sammy frowned as he looked towards the door to make sure no one was there.

"I won't say nothing. I just need to know…" Dean looked down at his arm and then back to Sammy, "for me."

Sammy sighed, he hated when Dean used the _for me _card cause he always spilled his guts.

**TBC**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, only in my dreams do I borrow them to help me write! Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

**NOTE#1**: I love how friendly everyone is on this site! Thanks for all the reviews, favs and alerts! It is such fun to read them! TO P: You asked me to keep u informed when a new chap is added, but you have a disabled PM… sorry but I can't reach u!

Chapter 33

"I'm not going away…" Dean said softly as he laid back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Well, dad's been nice…" Sammy whispered as he chewed his lip before he glanced at Dean and continued, "I just know its not going to last, ya know?"

Dean glanced over at Sammy as he nodded his understanding.

"You're my best friend." Sammy stated simply.

"Sucking up isn't helping you to get out of telling me how you feel." Dean retorted as he studied Sammy as he talked.

"I told you the truth." Sammy said his feelings obviously hurt.

"Your mine too, bitch." Dean said as he looked away to stare once again at the ceiling.

Sammy grinned at his brother.

Dean was looking out of the corner of his eye and grinned at the fact that his brother was smiling. The whole watching when no one thinks you're looking, _Damn_ he thought smugly, _I am good._

"So… okay… I'll be honest with you about something and then you tell me something. An honest for an honest… Deal?" Dean asked still watching the ceiling.

"You'd really do that?" He asked surprised.

"You're the only one." Dean stated as he turned to stare at Sammy.

"That's really cool." He murmured softly as he watched his big brother.

Dean snorted and then he frowned as he looked at Sammy, "When I got here and you weren't outside… I… um…" Dean raked his upper teeth over his lower lip before he said softly, "I freaked."

Sammy tilted his head to the side as he asked, "Why?"

"_Dude, seriously_… you even have to ask? You got your one honest… I want mine." Dean demanded as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

Sammy sighed as he thought about what to tell Dean and what to keep to himself. He needed to tell Dean why this happened, if anyone deserved the truth it was his brother. But it was not something he was sure he could explain or even if he did tell him if Dean _could _understand. Dean had never been fat or a disappointment to Dad. Dean did not seem to cause dad to remember bad things.

"Sammy?" Dean asked as he leaned forward to give Sammy his undivided attention.

"I just wanted you guys to want me around…" Sammy paused and gulped in air before rushing out the next words, "to take me with you instead of putting me aside and forgetting about me." Sammy looked down at his hands that were currently picking at a loose string on the quilt.

"Sammy… I will never forget about you." Dean stated firmly.

Sammy smiled sadly as he said softly, "But I thought you did."

"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean said honestly.

Sammy shook his head as he replied, "I'm always causing problems for you. Getting you in trouble and making you worry… for that I'm sorry."

"Sammy… you are the reason…" Dean stopped and then started again, "Ya know… Dad could go on without either one of us…" Dean held up his hand to silence Sammy, "Dude… he could. He'd be pissed and bent on revenge. But in the end he'd be a bigger, badder opponent for his enemy." Dean shrugged as he continued, "But I need you around little brother."

Sammy started to shake his head in denial as he said, "I'm just a burden you've got your orders to pro…"

Dean jumped up and lunged at Sammy, "I have never said that!"

Sammy said in a small voice, "But Dad has."

"Yeah well, Dad can be an ass sometimes." Dean snapped in frustration before he asked, "Do you think I take everything he says seriously?"

Sammy nodded his head yes.

Dean snorted.

Bobby and John were in the hallway listening to the boys and when John heard Dean's last comment he was ready to storm the room.

Bobby shook his head no as he whispered, "Just listen to them… you might learn something." He had grabbed John's arm in an effort to stop him.

John jerked away but remained where he was.

Dean continued unaware of the activity outside the room. "If I did that… I'd be a basket case."

Bobby snorted and John glared.

"Huh?" Sammy asked confused.

John nodded silently in agreement with Sammy, _Huh?_

"Dad is like a coconut Sammy." Dean said as he sat on the bed beside Sammy.

"I don't understand." Sammy muttered.

_Me neither_, John thought silently.

"Well, he has the tough as nails exterior. Remember the hairy coconut we got last summer? You hit it with the hammer and it bounced away. It took a long time to break it." Dean looked at Sammy with a slight grin.

"I remember. So, dad's hard and hairy?" Sammy asked with an _I'm so confused_ expression.

Bobby was trying hard not to bust a gut… much to John's annoyance.

John was trying desperately to understand where Dean was going with his thought process.

"Well yeah, but listen. He's got that really hard outer shell. Then he's got that good solid layer where he gets the job done and tries to save everyone."

Sammy looked doubtfully and wasn't really sure where Dean was going with the whole coconut thing.

"Then there's the milky part. That's what he keeps buried under the shell and meat. It's all his feelings, emotions and shit he can't deal with." Dean again grinned at his little brother.

"So when he gets mad at me?" Sammy asked curiously.

"Normally when he gets a crack in his hard outer shell, some of the milky crap he tries to keep in all the time gets away from him and makes him say stupid shit… stuff he really doesn't mean but it's too late for him to take back… and manly men don't say sorry." Dean grinned that he was able to explain what he was thinking so well and in terms he was sure Sammy would understand.

"So what you're saying is: he's hard and hairy, yet solid, dependable and generally good. But when he cracks he spews bullshit?" Sammy asked hoping he was getting what Dean was trying to say.

Dean gave his signature dazzler of a smile as he patted Sammy on the leg, "Exactly."

Sammy grinned back at him, "Oh, and manly men don't apologize… so what does that make you?"

Dean muttered, "Smartass… I am the exception to the rule."

Bobby tried once again to stop John from walking in the room but John shrugged him off and came in anyway.

"I got something to say." John said as he sat the tray down he was carrying on the card table that had been moved to the end of the beds.

Both boys wore identical '_oh shit_' faces as they turned to stare at John.

"I'm sorry." John said firmly as he looked at his boys.

The boys stared dumbfounded at John as he continued. "I screwed this job up. For that I'm sorry."

"Dad we just needed more Intel, anyone can mess…" Dean started to comfort his father.

"Dean, I'm talking about my most important job. Taking care of you boys. I let you both down. I let my guard down and almost lost you both." John looked ashamed as he watched them.

Once again he had both boys staring at him.

**TBC**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer**: Ok, right off the bat I'll say I don't own them... but I do like my playage and Sandbox time! Yeah, buddy!

**NOTE#1**: Thanks for all the amazing reviews! I am also getting reviews for other stories while people wait between chaps! Awesome! Favs and alerts are cool 2! My gbaby is having an obsessive day for spiders... Does anyone have any idea how many fake spiders I will take out for the _princess of shudders at spiders_? Let's just say there are alot of dead imaginary spiders in my house at this moment! On a side note: phyllis16, I love your reviews and I have tried to respond and would be glad to let u know when a new chap comes up but your pm is disabled sweetie...

Chapter 34

Both boys were warily watching their father as he sat down on the end of the bed.

"Sometimes I do get carried away and think of only killing another bad thing so some other man won't lose his wife or his kids won't grow up without a mother that I sometimes go to extremes and I'm sorry that you guys have been getting hurt in the crossfire." John said seriously as he fought the urge to look away. The boys deserved to be looked in the eye for his apology.

"Um…mum." Bobby cleared his throat from the door way.

"Yeah?" John asked still staring at the boys.

"Norton just called. He apparently felt it was important not to wait for me to come get him. He just called from town. He's rented a car at the airport. He'll be here in a few minutes. I thought I'd give you a heads up." Bobby said out loud.

"Thanks Bobby." John replied while still focusing his gaze on the boys.

"I'm going to go wait downstairs for him. I'll let you know when he gets here." Bobby responded before he turned and left the room.

John waited until he couldn't hear Bobby's footsteps before he told the boys, "Bobby trusts this guy… so I'll give him a chance. But if he hurts you, I will kill him."

Sammy's mouth dropped open as he stuttered, "But… I just get in the way."

Dean glared at John but said nothing.

John looked guilty before he said softly, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

Sammy just stared. He couldn't quite believe his dad after everything, _maybe Dean had made him_…

John broke into Sammy's thoughts as he said, "I want you boys to listen close cause I'm only going to say this once."

Sammy thought silently, _Now that sounded more like dad_.

"I love both you boys as much as I love your mom. _Both of you_. Dean, he's my first child." He looked proudly at Dean before he continued, "He's turning into one hell of a man."

Dean grinned but then swung his eyes from his dad to Sammy and back.

Sammy was used to seeing that kind of pride from his father when it came to Dean. Sammy laid back further sinking into the pillow as he closed his eyes. He didn't need to see anymore.

John motioned for Dean to move as he scooted forward to sit next to Sammy. "You Sammy are my youngest."

Sammy nodded eyes closed tight.

"Sammy look at me." John ordered but tried to gentle his voice.

Sammy obediently opened his eyes.

"You… were precious enough that your mother protected you till the end." John told him quietly.

Sammy turned away and hid his face.

John laid a hand on Sammy's shoulder, "I gotta keep you safe for her and for Dean."

Sammy started to cry softly.

"Sammy, I'm an ass sometimes but I need you too." John finally admitted.

"Hey John… Norton's pulling up the drive." Bobby yelled up the stairs.

"Coming." He yelled back and then he stood up before saying, "I do love you both." He then turned and silently left the room.

Dean looked at Sammy before he asked him, "Did you hear Dad say he loves _us_?"

Sammy turned over and looked at Dean tear stained face red and puffy as he nodded.

Dean grinned as he tried to lighten the mood, "bitch, don't get used to it… that was probably a one time deal."

Sammy grinned back as he responded with his normal reply, "jerk."

"Hey, why don't you try to rest while we wait on Dad." Dean suggested.

Sammy smiled gratefully at Dean as he closed his eyes. He turned back onto his side.

Dean sat down beside him as he started a one handed circle rub on Sammy's back.

It seemed a long time to Dean that there was only silence from downstairs.

Dad seemed to not like the guy that was coming. But could he help Sammy? That was the only question Dean cared about.

Sammy was so tired but at the moment he was pretending to sleep. He was floored by all that his dad had said, but he still felt he didn't measure up to his dad standards. He was confused by all this.

His dad's obvious pride in Dean… that was familiar to him. That was a solid to him...

_This_... the way his dad was talking now, he was not familar with and he wasn't sure how to take everything that had been said.

He felt exhausted all the time and he was actually surprised that dad was hanging around.

But then again Dean was.

So Dad probably had to in order to keep Dean. He reasoned with himself. It was what made the most sense.

One thing was certain he couldn't get fat again; that much he knew. He needed to stay thin.

But maybe he should just let everyone off the hook and let them move on with their lives and then if he got the way he needed to be he could call them to come get him. Maybe that way dad would send that Norton guy away.

He felt Dean move and then he heard talking down the hall. Dean had great hearing; he had heard them coming before Sammy realized there was even any noise.

He continued to pretend to be asleep.

"Dean…" He heard Dad say.

He felt Dean stand up.

"Dean this is Dr. Norton. He's here to help Sammy." John informed his oldest.

Dean made some kind of weird noise before he said out loud, "Just so you know, you hurt my brother. My dad will kill you."

"DEAN!" Dad snapped.

"What? Did I lie?" Dean asked and Sammy could imagine the shrug.

He heard a chuckle as a deep voice stated, "Wouldn't expect it any other way."

"Course if you hurt him, Dad will have to beat me to get to you first. And just so you know, I'm fast and I'm damn good at my job." Dean told the stranger, Dr. Norton.

"Really? And what job is that?" Dr. Norton asked the curiosity evident in his voice.

"Killing anything that hurts my brother." Dean stated bluntly.

Again Sammy could see Dean standing all defiant with his arms crossed over his chest, daring someone to fuck with him. He didn't need to see him to know if he was to open his eyes that is exactly what _he would see_.

"Dean would you like to leave the room?" John asked aggravated.

"No sir." Dean said and he felt the bed sag as Dean sat back down.

Dr. Norton cleared his throat as he told Dean. "_I am here _to help him. I really believe I can."

"You…" Dean started to say.

"Dean Winchester." John snapped.

Dean sighed as he said softly, "I'm sorry."

"No big deal kid." Dr. Norton said quickly.

"Can you tell me how you plan to…" Dean stopped.

"Well, I plan on giving him an intravenous cocktail until he's strong enough for shots, then I will give him a series of shots until he's up and running again." Dr. Norton replied cheerfully.

"And you've fixed cases like his before?" Dean asked cautiously.

The silence worried Sammy as to what Dean would do.

"Sort of." Dr. Norton answered honestly.

Dean jumped up as he snapped, "What the hell does that mean?"

**TBC**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer**: I love the Winchester boys even though they will only ever be mine in my dreams. Boo-who... who whines? Babies (hehe)

**NOTE#1**: Sorry Guys! Most of the day I spent medicated and hiding in the dark trying to escape the migraine monster! It's 10:28 pm and I will post this chap tonight! Can't guarantee mistake free but… Love you guys for all the support and smiles! Hope you enjoy the Chap… and hey, what the Hades is up with Cas?

Chapter 35

"Dean, go see Bobby." John snapped and when Dean remained stationary he growled, "Now."

"It's alright, John. It's obvious the kid's worried about his brother." Dr. Norton said calmly as he addressed John and then he turned to look at Dean once again. "I've had similar cases before and this treatment was successful."

"Well…" Dean scrunched up his nose as he asked, "Why is he different?"

"Because _he's not a she_…" Dr. Norton said bluntly.

Dean got frustrated as he snapped, "What the hell has that got to do with anything?"

"Dean… downstairs. Now." John growled as he grabbed Dean and pulled him towards the door.

Dean resisted for a second or two before he jerked his arm away and stormed from the room.

John sighed as he stared after Dean wishing he had even a portion of the patience Mary had seemed to have had with so little effort.

Dr. Norton chuckled as he told John, "He's a lot like you were when I first met you. Hell, _like you still are_."

John grinned… _yeah, Dean was like him _then he frowned as he wished Sam was even a _little _like him.

"We need to wake your boy up and explain what we are going to do." Norton said finally as he started to take his things out to get everything ready.

Sammy felt the bed sag a lot more than when Dean would sit beside him and knew his dad had sat down next to him.

He did not want to hear what dad had to say. He didn't want an IV. He had them before and they sucked. _Big time_. He felt his dad place his hand on his arm and give him a slight shake.

Sammy moaned and tried to turn slightly as he pretended to still be asleep.

"Son, you need to wake up now." John said softly.

Sammy slowly opened his eyes and blinked rapidly a few times before his eyes widened owlishly when he spotted Norton behind John.

John glanced behind him and then looked back at Sam. "This is Doc Norton. He's an old friend."

Sammy wanted to roll his eyes; had his dad already forgotten the talk earlier with Dean, "I thought you said…" he started to say.

"Sam." John said warningly.

Norton chuckled as he said warmly, "Dean already explained everything to me."

Sammy smiled _the guy seemed nice_. But then Dad could too when he needed to.

"Now, what I plan on doing is feeding you nutrients to help you get better." Norton began. "First I will need to…"

"No needles." Sammy said firmly.

"You don't get a choice boy." John snapped tired of the boys' attitude all the way around.

"They always have a choice, John. Whether you want them to or not. That is why I'm here now, _isn't it_? Because of choices that have been made?" Norton asked knowing he was hitting a nerve.

"Don't be a bastard, Norton. Not now." John snarled softly.

Norton nodded as he focused on Sammy again; he began to explain to him what was about to happen. "So Sammy, this will be your food for at least the next two weeks and if that goes well then we will switch to shots for a couple of weeks. Then hopefully you will be well on the road to recovery."

"Will it make me fat?" Sammy asked as he tried to keep the fear out of his voice.

Norton smiled as he studied Sammy; he really believed he had an eating disorder and this was only cementing that decision. He was a rare case, but Norton really felt it was something that was on the rise. This was something that used to be only seen in the female gender but in the last year he was seeing a rise in the male population. Unfortunately his theory was not widely accepted in the medical community. At least in the states. So, that was one reason he chose to study this phenomenon outside the states.

Looking at the boy again he realized he had paled considerably as he waited on his answer. "You will become healthy."

John was staring at Sammy with a funny look on his face.

Sammy sank back further into the pillows, _Crap_ he thought in a panic, he'd pissed Dad off again. It seemed he didn't even have to try. _Open mouth… piss off dad_.

_Where the hell was Dean_? So out loud he asked as he stared at his father, "Where's Dean?"

"I sent him for a walk." John stated coolly with a _that's all you need to know _look.

"Ok, everything's ready." Norton said quietly from behind John.

Sammy said in a panic, "I gotta pee." as he struggled to sit up.

"Sammy, quit stalling." John said sternly as he added a look of displeasure for good measure.

"But, Dad…" Sammy whined.

"Fine. Hurry your ass up." John snapped.

Sammy sighed in relief as he tried to sit up.

John lifted him into a sitting position and helped him stand.

When it became apparent to Sammy that his dad planned on taking him to the bathroom he tried to move away as he whined once again, "Dad, I can go to the bathroom by myself. Remember _you_ told D that."

John dropped his hand and nodded. He even took a step back.

"Wow, John. They're both are just like you." Norton stated as he shook his head.

"No," John argued after Sammy left the room, "Dean is like me and Sammy…"

Norton's hands stilled as he stared at John. His brow furrowed as he said, "You really _don't _see it do you?"

John looked confused as he asked, "See what?"

"Those two boys are so close, they… "He shook his head as he continued, "They both are just like you. Dean may be the soldier that follows you, but Sammy is the soldier that could be just as great as his brother… John…" Norton stopped and looked at the door to make sure no one was there then continued, "Don't break him before you give him that chance."

Nether noticed Dean leaning against the wall outside the door as he listened to them.

John got instantly pissed.

But before he could say anything, Norton continued, "John I believe the boy was… _is_ starving himself to fit in."

"What the hell are you talking about?" John growled as he took a step toward Norton.

"Well, he is obviously worried about his weight. It is a rising trend among teenagers." Dr. Norton said softly as he watched John's face.

"Not him." John stated emphatically.

"And why not him John?" Norton asked curious for the answer as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Sammy's only eleven." was John's reply.

"And what? An eleven year old isn't worried about approval and fitting in?" Norton asked with a slightly sarcastic undertone.

"You said teenagers." John said as he grasped onto anything that meant that the doctor was wrong.

"He is one of the youngest. But, I recently worked with a nine year old girl whose mother was always telling her how fat she was and left her at home during family vacations and outings to." At which time he air quoted his next sentence, "save everyone the embarrassment." Then stated, "_The mother's words not mine_."

"What the hell does that have to do with Sam?" John growled impatient for the doctor to get to his point.

"I think he may be feeling something along the same lines." Dr. Norton finally said as he waited for the famous Winchester temper to make an appearance.

"I don't do that." John snapped.

"Well, it may seem that way to him. I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, John. Bobby told me why Sammy was left here." Dr. Norton announced.

"He had no fucking right." John snarled.

"Yes, he did. He was taking care of Sammy and he's trying to help him. Telling the doctor everything _will help him_. And if that bruises your ego, _too damn bad_." Dean had walked in and said what he felt; he would deal with the fall out later and he was pretty certain there would be major fallout.

"Dean." John growled, turning to stare at Dean in the doorway.

**TBC**

**Note#2**: Research on IV vitamins was in the early stages in the 1990's. One study was on the benefits of IV vitamins to people with weight problems. The awareness was on the rise about eating disorders as well in the 1990's. That is when it was noticed that it wasn't just a problems that females struggled with; it was a rising problem with teens of BOTH sexes. I just tweaked it to work for my needs. I am obviously not a medical student or anything of the sort.


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine… but I made a tunnel from my sandbox to theirs! (evil laugh) Ya know it was a lot easier after they moved next door! Sandbox Raiders unite! HA

**NOTE#1**: Thank you ALL! The reviews, favs and alerts are amazingly cool! I am floored that they have almost doubled the last story! How totally awesome is that? **Way awesome!** Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chap… I am avoiding that little migraine monster! It tripped me like 3 times yesterday… evil little…. Blanket-y, blank-blank! (my older sis and mine's version of cussing growing up) HA… Our dad's version of cussing included gosh and darn 2, boy would I not be sitting down for awhile if he could read some of the things I type now… Hum… anyways… enjoy! LUvS and HuGGs! PS to my FFF from GB-M, extra squeezy HuGGS! Smile!

Chapter 36

"Dad. We need to worry about Sammy right now." Dean quietly before he turned and went to find out what was keeping Sammy. He heard his dad snap something at the doctor but chose to ignore it.

The bathroom door was still closed so he knocked.

Silence.

"Sammy. Open up. Hiding in the bathroom is not going to stop anything. But I will be hanging out with you the whole time." Dean told his little brother.

A very small voice asked, "You will?"

"Well duh, bitch." Dean said with a grin that couldn't be seen through the door.

"jerk." Sammy replied as the door swung open. "Wish you'd been there when dad woke me up."

"Sorry Sammy. I lost my temper and got kicked out of the room. But I'm back now." He said with a forced smile as he swung his good arm over Sammy's shoulders and gave a quick squeeze as he headed Sammy towards the room.

The closer they got to the room the slower Sammy became.

"Dude." Dean scolded as he added, "Stalling only delays it, not stops it. Besides I know you can handle this."

Sammy looked up at Dean surprised as he asked. "You really think so?"

"Wouldn't say it if I didn't." He replied as he gave Sammy another shoulder squeeze.

"Thanks, D." Sammy responded as he leaned into the squeeze for a second.

"Anytime, bro… anytime." He repeated as he looked at his little brother with pride. Others thought him and Sammy were just alike. _Now if only Dad_… a voice inside his head scoffed, _dream on_. He smiled down at Sammy as he shook his head.

When they walked in the room their Dad muttered, "About damn time."

"Yeah, well. I had to tackle him at the border… he was making a run for it." Dean said jokingly as he gave Sammy a gentle nudge towards the bed.

"What?" John snapped ready to jump into a full blown rant.

"Damn, Dad I was just kidding. He was in the bathroom… jeez. Calm down before you have a stroke." Dean said in a steady voice as he tried to keep an even tone.

"Dean… he needs this." John said simply.

"I know, that's why he's back. He's going to co-operate and I will stay with him to… " Dean looked around the room before nodding towards the pile of stuff as he continued, "Play that game of checkers he owes me. He's been avoiding it because he knows I'm going to stomp his ass."

"But Dean last time we played I won." Sammy protested as he hung back towards his big brother.

"But who the hell taught you to play that well? ME." Dean said proudly. "Just shows how damn good I am. I taught you how to beat anyone. Cause if you can beat the best…"

Sammy interrupted with a grin as he looked up at his idolized brother, "You?"

"Yep. Then anyone else is a piece of cake." Dean finished smugly.

"I don't know boys. I'm pretty good. I bet I could take you." Norton said as he moved everything over to the side table by the bed.

Dean snickered as he herded Sammy forward a few steps before he dropped his hands and stepped back a few of his own.

John threw up his hands and stormed out of the room as he bellowed down to Bobby, "Where's the good stuff Bobby?"

Just what Bobby's reply was could not be understood, but John's was clear as he snapped, "Well I told you to have it ready." Then he could be heard stomping down the stairs.

Sammy was backing up until Dean stopped him. Sammy looked over his shoulder at Dean.

Dean gave Sammy's shoulder as squeeze. "I'm here." Dean stated simply.

Sammy stared a few seconds; then nodded as he walked slowly over to the bed and climbed in. Finally after settling in he covered up his legs as he smiled at Dean and then told Norton, "I'm ready."

Norton cleaned and swabbed the back of Sammy's hand as he asked, "So, Dean's your big brother?"

Sammy gave him a _well, duh _look as he said with pride, "Yeah." He stared apprehensively at the needle now laying on the end table.

"So. He seems to like you." Norton said as he tore of strips of tape and lined them up on the edge of the table. Then he stood and brought over the IV pole and wedged it between the bed and side table. Placing the bag on the pole he looked down as he asked, "So you wouldn't trade him for… say even a boat load of money? Say yacht size?"

Dean knew he was trying to distract Sammy but he really thought the current line of questions was going to irritate Sammy sooner rather than later. But he was curious for the answer.

"Hell, no. For nothing, I'm keeping him." Sammy stated firmly.

Dean laughed, _that was the answer he wanted to hear_.

Norton got the bag ready as he asked Dean, "What about you?"

Dean looked at Sammy and winked before he said with a shrug, "Hell, I'd trade Dad."

Sammy giggled as he said, "Yeah, after he got the money. He'd just go steal him back and then he'd have both."

"Really? Interesting." Norton said as he looked at Dean. Giving him a slight nod to let him know he was ready he commented, "I never would have thought of that."

He looked down at Sammy as he smiled, "That's one smart brother you got there."

"Yep." Sammy agreed as Dean slid in next to him.

Dean said softly, "I want you to hold my hand and look at me. No where else, K?"

Sammy blinked as he asked, "Shit. It's going to hurt worse than last time, isn't it?"

"Why would you say that?" Dean asked surprised.

"Cause if you're offering to be girly for me… it's going to freakin' hurt like hell." Sammy stated as he started to feel tears well up.

"No, dude. This guy has been doing this way a lot longer than that nurse had. It was her first day on the job, remember?" Dean said as he tried to comfort his little brother.

"No. I just remember it hurt like hell." Sammy repeated.

Dean laughed as he said, "I promise. It won't be as bad, K."

Sammy frowned a couple of seconds before he sighed, "Okay, D. I trust you."

Dean messed up Sammy's hair as he ran a hand through it, then placed his hand over Sammys. He looked at Sammy as he waited until he received a smile and a nod, " We're ready, doc." Dean told him.

Norton smiled back at them as he said in what he hoped was a soothing voice, "Yeah been doing this for years. No big deal. Easy as pie."

"That doesn't make any sense because when Uncle Bobby makes pie… it doesn't look easy." Sammy stated as he pulled his arm away from Dr. Norton.

Norton laughed as he stated with a grin, "That's cause Bobby's like a bull in a china shop. Woman can make pie easy and quick."

"Really?" Sammy asked but he looked at Dean for the answer.

"Yep." Dean agreed.

"But you're not a woman." Sammy said suspiciously.

"I promise I was trained by the best. You just have to know the right way to do it and then it becomes easy. It's a good rule of thumb to go by on a lot of things." Dr. Norton stated as he held out his hand.

Sammy silently placed his arm into Norton's grasp.

**TBC**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer**: Don't own… not mine… how about Sandbox Raiding with me… now!

**NOTE#1**: This chap is to my FFF whose has become my friend and is considering leaving the fold; I would miss greatly if she does, Marian! Thanks to all the reviews, favs and alerts!

Chapter 37

"Just relax your muscles." Norton told Sammy who had a death grip on his brother and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Sammy immediately went limp.

"Sammy?" Dean asked worriedly thinking his brother had passed out.

"Yeah?" He asked with his eyes still closed.

"Which one of Bobby's puppies do you like best?" Dean asked even though he already knew the answer.

Sammy smiled as he started talking, "The white one with the black ink blotch looking spot coming from his nose down his mussel."

"The one that looks like he has a huge nasty booger coming out his nose?" Dean questioned.

Sammy giggled then sucked in his breath as the needled sunk into his hand. Norton quickly started taping it to secure it in place.

"Hey… Hey Sammy… you okay, bitch?" Dean questioned.

"Yeah… jerk… it didn't hurt that bad." His little brother said as he opened his eyes to smile at Dean.

"A lot less than a knife wound." Dean commented.

"Or the rock to my forehead." Sammy added.

"Snakebite." Dean said in a challenging voice.

"Horse stomping on my foot." Sammy countered.

"The shove down the flight of stairs." Dean fired back.

"Or me landing on you after that shove." Sammy said with a giggle.

"Yeah, that hurt." Dean agreed.

"Not really you cushioned my fall." Sammy said with a smile.

"bitch." Dean said grinning back.

"All done. See it wasn't that bad." Norton said as he thought about how much Dean changed the boy. When Dean was in the room with Sammy he seemed to shine, like a light came on. But when he was with just his father he was a lot more reserved, like he hid himself, who he really was while with him. He felt he needed to study this situation more to better help Sammy.

'jerk." Sammy muttered under his breath.

Norton hooked up the bag, adjusting the drip and then he went over to a small board and came back to sit it on the table again tearing off more strips of tape but longer this time.

"What's that for?" Dean asked curiously.

"So, he doesn't move his arm." Norton stated.

Sammy looked in a panic to Dean.

"How about I promise he will keep it straight." Dean offered quickly, anything to get the look of fear off his little brother's face.

"You can't do that 24/7." Dr. Norton stated gently.

"Look, doc… you don't know me so I'll explain this once. I don't take breaks when Sammy needs me… If I need a bathroom break I wait until someone else is here." Dean declared firmly.

"And sleep?" Norton asked unbothered by Dean's attitude.

Dean looked away.

"And sleep?" Norton repeated as he remained undeterred.

"Only when I force him to." Sammy said glad he could finally say something to someone.

"And has anyone taken a look at that arm since it was casted?" Norton asked.

"Well, no. It's in a cast." Dean replied with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well, when I am done getting Sammy settled I'll take a look." Norton stated.

"You're here for Sam, not me." Dean declared mulishly.

"Taking care of you is taking care of Sammy. Just like me taking care of him is taking care of you." Dr. Norton retorted with a smug grin at Dean's look.

"You're one weird dude." Dean said wearily.

"Yep. Sammy." Norton said as he held up a needle. "I'm going to put this is the IV port. It will prevent nausea and it has a little something to make you sleepy."

Sammy nodded; relieved it wasn't going to end up being stabbed into his arm as well.

Dean smiled as he told Sammy, "Well you get the good stuff at least. You need to get sleep that lasts more than ten minutes."

"So do you… can you give him…" Sammy started only to be interrupted by Dean.

"Uh… no. I don't need a damn shot. I'll be here when you wake up." Dean said firmly.

Sammy yawned as he replied, "If you're asleep too… You're still here with me."

"It's not the same." Dean returned with the same mulish tone he so recently used on the doctor.

"I'll remember that when you are the one in this bed." Sammy stated firmly.

"Smartass." Dean said with a grin.

"Yep, that's me… Sammy the smartass." Sammy said with another yawn as his eyes drifted shut.

"Well that worked quickly," Dean muttered.

"Yep, like you said. It's the good stuff." Norton smiled as he held out his hand, "now that your brother is out; how about you tell me the truth about that arm."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dean snapped peevishly. Dad hadn't noticed and he'd blown Bobby off when he'd asked and Sammy was always sleeping.

"Dean… I see how you pale when a pain hits. The beads of sweat on your forehead… You are in pain. Now, we can do this the hard way or the easy way." Doc Norton told him flatly.

"Doc, I got pain pills. I'll just take one…" Dean started but was interrupted by Norton.

"Don't tell me people actually fall for that?" Norton said with a snort of disbelief.

Dean grinned _the doc was alright_. As long as he treated Sammy right, that is.

"Just take the one shot and if you don't feel 100% better when you wake…" Norton tried to compromise only to have Dean interrupt him.

"No. Not while Sammy's out. I need to watch his six." Dean stated.

"Dean there's your father and Bobby and I plan on staying right here." Norton tried to reason.

"Oh yeah, like that's not creepy." Dean growled.

"Dean. I am a professional and I know how you feel about your brother." Norton said softly.

"You can stop talking now." Dean said as he held out his arm. To tell the truth he was damn tired and his arm had been hurting for days.

Norton prepared another needle with the pain med that also had a sleep agent in it. "Why don't you lie down?" He turned around to find Dean already sitting on the bed next to Sammy.

He smiled, "Ok then." he commented as he sat down and took Dean's uncasted arm and quickly injected the liquid before Dean could change his mind.

"If Sammy needs me and I'm not able to help me, this won't happen again."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Dean." Norton said with a smile and a pat as he started to clean up. He waited until Dean was asleep before he looked at Dean's casted arm.

**TBC**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own even though I keep borrowing them… Sandboxes… such fun! I have grown to really appreciate them... (arches an eyebrow)

**NOTE#1**: This is Chap#2 today! My thanks to you all for the topping off of 400+ Reviews! Hugely Amazing! **Thank you, guys**! Luv and HuGGS! Also want to say welcome back from holidays my Canadian FFF! V! Also… **Mar**ian… think about it… **for me?** (puppy dog eyes) Hey, it works for Dean… and Sammy! Thanks guys! PS- Since I'm fixing some typos: I figured I would also mention Happy Birthday, Sammy! (A 'kittles' told me- hehe)

Chapter 38

Two hours later and both boys were still sound asleep.

John came into the room with Bobby only to stop in the middle of the room as he stared at his sleeping boys.

"What did you do to him to get him to sleep?" John asked as he stared at Dean.

"He didn't want to but I can still talk a good game." Norton said as he watched John.

"Well what's the diagnosis?" Bobby asked as he watched Norton watch John.

"Well I think you hit Sammy's problem right on the head. As far as Dean, he's in a lot of pain and not taking his meds." Norton said as he watched both John and Bobby.

Bobby nodded; he'd figured as much so no surprise there.

John looked confused as he glanced at Dean before he said quietly, "He told me he was fine."

"He basically is. Sammy on the other hand. That boy is going to need a lot of positive feedback." Norton said as he made eye contact with Bobby before he focused once again on John.

"What's wrong with him?" John asked in a worried tone.

"John have you ever been… _now don't get pissed off_." Norton warned before he continued, "overly critical about Sammy… Well, say with his weight?"

John narrowed his eyes as he snapped, "That's none of your damn business."

"But it is if I'm going to help him." Norton disagreed. At John's closed and pissed off expression, Norton shrugged, "Never mind, I'll ask Dean." Norton told John.

"I may have mentioned his weight once or twice." John said quietly.

"In a negative way?" Norton persisted.

"He may have taken it that way, why?" John wanted to know what that had to do with some mystery sickness.

"Because that is why he stopped eating and exercised to the point of exhaustion." Norton snapped quickly getting at the end of his patience with John.

"So this is his fault." John asked as he glanced at his still sleeping youngest.

"No… I'm guessing it's yours." Dr. Norton retorted bluntly.

"How the hell…" John growled as he clenched his fists at his side.

"Because_ you John_ can be a real hard ass and if you made it sound like it was his fault that he was fat; he more than likely decided to fix it the only was he knew how." Norton replied.

"So you are saying it's my…" John began as his face started to stain red with anger.

"John… fuck! I'd quit feeling sorry for myself and figure out how to fix this if I were you." Norton snapped as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration before he added, "So shut the fuck up and let me tell you."

John stared furiously at him but said nothing more.

"If… he was already feeling bad about his weight, he could possibly have overheard you… maybe in a private conversation." Norton paused to let what he had already said sink in a little before he continued, "Maybe saying things about him you'd never say to his face and then couple that with things you did say. It may have cemented it into his head that the only way to fix it was to lose a lot of weight."

"What does that have…" John tried to say.

"John." Bobby said suddenly as everything clicked into place now that he had Norton voicing everything outloud, "You said he told Dean he heard you talking about him when you were trying to get me to take him."

"Shit." John muttered as he stared at Bobby.

"Isn't that the night he got lost in the woods?" Bobby asked as he looked from John to the bed to make sure the boys were still asleep, "You said he'd been out running?" Bobby added.

John nodded as he said, "How did it…"

"John if this kind of thing isn't carefully monitored and it gets too out of hand; the next step if he'd been left untreated… his organs would have eventually shut down. This could kill him." Norton wanted John to fully understand what was at stake here; the life of his son… and if he had to guess… the health of one affected both boys.

John was suddenly even more angry. _How could Sammy put them through this_?

"Your son probably felt this was the only way to make you happy and let him be a part of the family." Norton told John bluntly.

"Don't be a di…" John snarled.

"Tell me I'm wrong John. You want your boys to be lean mean fighting machines." Norton stated sarcastically.

"Yeah, so?" John asked with a shrug.

"Well, the sooner you realize that Sammy is not a carbon copy of Dean the sooner everyone can be happy and healthy in who they are." Norton snapped angrily.

"You sound like a… quack." John growled.

"What because I'm telling you feelings are important?" Norton asked in a challenging voice.

"Feelings get you killed." John stated firmly, "There is no place for them in our world."

"Then what is the point of me being here? If you squash that boy's personality into some predesigned way you think it should be. Well…" He shook his head sadly.

John shrugged his shoulders and held out his hands in a silent _what do you want from me_? gesture.

"You'll kill him either way." Norton finished.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" John snapped as he stepped towards Norton.

Bobby put his hand on John's arm; holding him back, "He's just saying you got to let Sammy be an individual too. Like you let Dean. Dean is his own man to a degree, isn't he? Not afraid to tell you when he thinks your wrong. Even if he knows later he may get in trouble from you for his mouth, attitude… whatever." Bobby told John.

John instantly grinned with pride.

"Dean had that first few years of normalcy and had a chance to form… Sammy didn't have that… security. He's never had his mother's influence." Bobby continued.

"He's had Dean." John snapped defensively.

"Interesting." Norton said.

"What the fuck…" John snarled as he suddenly wanted to pop Doc Norton's head off.

"I'm just thinking if you back off the kid a little you might get a more desired affect." Norton stated.

"You have no…" John began.

"Yes… I do. I'm his doctor. I shouldn't have to sugarcoat shit for you just so I don't hurt your precious ego." Norton retorted.

"I'm going to beat the living…" John snapped as he moved towards Norton.

"What? You don't like the truth?" Norton said moving forward as well to stand toe to toe with John.

Bobby stepped up to them placing a hand on each man's chest and shoved them both backwards as he snapped, "_If_ you are done with your pissing contest maybe we can think about the boys… _because if you wake them up_… I'm throwing both you knuckleheads out of my house and I will take care of them both myself."

**TBC**


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately they are not mine… (rubs eye with fist) no matter how hard I try… lower lip sticking out as tries not wail in misery… LOL

**Note#1**: Thanks to all my FFF that let me rattle! M, V to name a few! Thanks for all the amazing reviews and all the questions 2! Favs and Alerts, thumbs up 2! Thanks to K for the oopsies caught… and to all I may have not mentioned who are just as important! Thank you for your support and compliments alike! You rock!

Chapter 39

They stood staring at each other for several seconds in silence before each turned and took a couple of steps back.

Bobby nodded his approval before he asked softly, "So positive attitudes all the way around, huh?"

Norton nodded as he agreed, "I think that would help both boys and I think Dean would be more comfortable leaving his brother so that he could eat properly himself. He looks a little like he's lost weight…"

"What? Why do you say that?" John asked in a slightly raised voice.

"His clothes seem a little baggy. Does he wear his clothes baggy like that?" Norton questioned.

John shook his head to the negative.

"So if he doesn't start taking care of himself he going to be in the same situation as Sam." Norton replied honestly.

"What?" John asked in instant panic mode.

"Interesting." Norton muttered as he watched John.

"If you say that one more time I'm going to rip your fucking head off." John snarled enraged and not really sure why.

"John if I was scared of you, I wouldn't be here." Norton said flatly.

"Either you two take it outside…" Bobby growled as he continued, "Or knock it the fuck off right now. Those two wake up and you two are still at each other's throats and you won't like _me_."

"Sorry, Bobby. But if his attitude doesn't change then I might as well take my shit and leave because it will be for nothing." Norton said frustrated and pissed off himself.

"What is that suppose to mean?" John snapped although quieter because he was still mindful of Bobby's threat.

"It means that you obviously are very proud of Dean. But it's just as obvious that you don't feel that way about Sammy." Norton retorted with a look that dared John to argue with his statement.

"I love Sammy too." John growled as he turned maroon.

"I never said you don't love either boy._ I said_ you don't feel the same kind of pride with them both. And from what little I've seen they both know it." Norton said as he leaned against the closet wall. "Dean spends a great deal of time trying to make it up to Sammy. That and everything else that's wrong in his kid brother's life. It goes a long way. I can see that it helps Sam for Dean to be here. But what I'm saying is that if you don't try harder to treat him the same way… _you will lose him_."

John stared at him for a few seconds before he told him, "You're wrong. I love them both. I am proud of both of them. Dean is a fine hunter and Sammy has started helping with the research. He is amazing with Latin, if he'd just apply himself on the other things."

"See… _that right there_." Norton said as he pointed at John, before he continued, "That's what I'm talking about. Even when you say good things about him you cut him down in the same breath. That's what he hears and why I'm here now." Norton knew he was hitting multiple nerves, but he wanted desperately to get through to John. "Hunting is your choice not theirs. They aren't hunters you are." Norton stated flatly.

"You been talking to Bobby?" John demanded as he narrowed his eyes at Norton.

"Yes, John I have. But I'm not basing my opinion solely on that. I'm basing it on my own observations as well; things seen and heard from you and the boys in just the short time I've been here. I've been listening to them as well as having watched them react to each other." Norton said.

"So this is my fault?" John snapped out his question.

"Yes." Norton said bluntly.

"Bedside manner…" Bobby muttered under his breath.

"Yeah well." Norton grinned as he told Bobby, "That's why I'm in research now. I don't have to fuck with idio…"

Bobby quickly interrupted, "John why don't you go grab a couple of beers and calm down. Just think about what Norton has said. _See if it makes sense to yo_u."

John stared at Bobby as his jaw ticked in time with his pulse and his rage. He really felt ganged up on and it pissed him off. He finally nodded jerkedly as he turned and stormed from the room.

Bobby smiled as he watched John leave. He waited until he heard John on the stairs before he said in an admiring tone, "You really still know what buttons to push to send him into a rage in 2.3 seconds."

Norton grinned back as he said, "Yeah well lets hope he actually thinks about everything."

"John loves his boys. He just sometimes gets sidetracked by the revenge." Bobby felt compelled to say.

"I know but I wanted to shock him into realizing he could easily lose these boys to something other than monsters." Norton replied frankly, knowing he could be with Bobby.

"He'll think about it… after he quits thinking of ways to kill you." Bobby said with a grin.

"Well he has some time… these two will probably sleep at least three more hours. Hopefully more." Norton said, "Ya know, I could use a drink."

Bobby sighed as he pulled a chair up next to the bed, "Try not to kill each other. Let John know, I'm sitting up here for awhile with the boys."

Norton grinned a little mischievishly, "I won't start anything."

Bobby shook his head as he muttered, "I think you maybe are looking for a chance to hash everything out with John, but I really think that can wait."

"Me too Bobby; it can wait. I was actually going to tell John that." Norton stated with a grin.

"Oh, yeah." Bobby's voice was full of sarcasm, "that will really ease the tension."

"You were right Bobby. Those boys are close." Norton gave a head nod toward the boys.

"So, you really think that your treatment will work?" Bobby asked.

"Your diagnosis was dead on, Bobby. So yeah, I do. I just wish that John would realize he has _two_ great kids, even though they have different strengths they are also a lot alike. Anyone around them for five minutes could see it." Norton stated.

"Well, John can't seem to and that… " Bobby stopped and shook his head.

"Yeah well, he likes to prove me wrong… so maybe that will make a difference."

"He does love the boys." Bobby felt the need once again to say.

"Never a doubt." Norton stated firmly.

**TBC**


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer**: I do not own but I do not care! I still get to borrow and play so hell, yeah!

**Note#1**: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Love them! Adore you! Awesomeness all around! Smiles! Thanks as well 2 favs and alerts! Enjoy!

Chapter 40

Hours had passed and John was back in the room as he waited for the boys to wake up from their drug induced sleep.

John knew things would have to change. He knew that before _Jamie fucking says shit just to piss him off Norton_ butted in. He really believed that Jamie had set out to do exactly that... piss him off. But John already knew he needed things to change in order to keep his kids with him.

What he was struggling with was balancing their happiness with his need for them to stay safe above all else and the main problem with that was that they weren't safe without the skills to protect themselves. He needed to know if anything ever happened to him they could do just that.

Dean was angry with him, he knew this; angry enough to walk away and take Sammy with him. Or well stay with Bobby and leave John to hunt alone. So he needed to fix this... sooner rather than later. He also knew he'd dragged his ass on the whole thing, but that was at an end. He needed to man up now. He ran a hand through his hair.

Dean moaned as he turned over, and then sat straight up as he yelled out, "Sammy!" in a panic; Dean looked frantically around before he spotted Sammy next to him. With a sigh he fell back against the pillow as he tried to slow his breathing back to normal.

"Dean?" John asked softly, "you okay?"

Dean kept his eyes closed as he murmured, "nightmare."

"About Sammy?" He guessed, before he added, "He's just sleeping. His vitals are fine, I've been checking." John hurriedly assured Dean.

Dean nodded to let him know he'd heard as he said softly, "It was pretty real feeling."

John agreed with a nod, "Dreams can be. We just need to make sure they don't become real."

"Is that why you do the things that you do?" Dean asked curiously as he leaned up on his uninjured arm to look at his dad.

John stared at him a few minutes and then nodded yes.

Dean made an '_okay I can relate to that'_ face.

"I'm sorry that sometimes I don't explain why I'm being such a hard ass. I just want you boys to be able to protect yourselves and each other if ever I'm not around." John finally admitted to his oldest.

"Yeah dad I get it. I really do but Sammy's just a kid. He does really good for his age." Dean said with a proud glance at his sleeping baby brother.

"But you were a lot more…" John began.

"Dad, you gotta stop that. You will push him away. He's not me. He's Sammy… brain man in all his glory. I wasn't that smart at that age. I couldn't find the answer to any question you threw at me at his age… hell, I still can't." Dean said ending with a sigh of frustration.

"But you could hit anything you shot at, you could run indefinitely. You…" John continued on with what he wanted to say.

"Are different than Sammy. But Sammy is smart, loyal and dependable. He'd die for us… just like we would for him. So maybe in the parts that count… _we are just alike_." Dean said wisely.

Tears welled up in John's eyes as he asked his oldest, "Looks like he's not the only smart one. When did you grow up to be so smart?"

"Born that way." Dean smirked as he sat completely up and leaned back against the wall.

"Yes. You both take so much after your mom." John stated as he stared at Dean.

After several minutes of silence with John staring unblinkingly at Dean he began to fidget under the scrutiny finally asking John, "How are you planning on fixing this with Sam?"

"I will be as honest as I can with you both, that's the best I can do." John said after several seconds of thinking about what he wanted to say.

Dean nodded as he told his dad, "Dad he's a good kid. We are lucky to have him."

"Dean I'm lucky to have you both. You both are so much more than I deserve." His father admitted as he turned slightly pink with embarrassment.

Jumping in a different direction with the conversation Dean asked, "How long have I been asleep?"

"Uh…" John looked at his watch. "About 8 hours or so."

"What?" Dean asked surprised, "I never sleep that long… not at the same time. What if Sammy had needed me?" Dean started getting aggravated, "Shit." he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sitting right here, Dean." John remarked slightly hurt that Dean had so easily discarded his presence.

"_I'm his brother_." Dean snapped angry that the man who had given Sammy to him when he was four years old and told him to run to keep him safe was now trying to take him back. Well, it was too fucking late for that.

"And I'm his father." John remarked.

"Well, it's my job…" Dean started clearly intent on making a few things clear to his father.

"_It's my job_. I've just been handing the responsibility over to you. For that I'm sorry." John said sadly.

"Don't you ever apologize for Sammy." Dean growled so angry he was shaking with rage.

"Dean I just meant…" John started but stopped when Sammy tried to turn over in his sleep.

John started to stand only to sit back down when Dean immediately sat a hand on Sammy's chest as he leaned in close to whisper, "Shhhh. You need to lay still, bro. You will pull out your IV." Dean said softly as he patted Sammy gently.

Sammy settled back down and stilled as he snaked a hand up to grip the sleeve of Dean's shirt.

John shook his head and stood as he told Dean, "Since you have everything under control, I'll go see if Bobby wants to help me fix some lunch."

Dean chuckled softly as he told John, "You… cook? Bobby's not going to let you anywhere near the stove."

"I'm not that bad." John retorted with a smile.

"After the last time you cooked, Bobby installed smoke detectors in the kitchen, library and his room. He also showed me where he put the fire extinguishers he bought incase you decided to cook while he wasn't here."

"Really?" John asked with a grin.

Dean nodded as he commented, "He showed Sammy as well as told him how to put out different types of fires."

"Hey boy… that was one time." John grinned as he defended himself.

"One time too many." Bobby said from the doorway as he walked in with a tray.

"Hey, no way. I just woke up." Dean snapped as he spotted his pill bottle next to a plate of pancakes and bacon.

"You will boy or I will ban you from taking care of Sam if you won't take care of you in the process." Bobby growled right back, unfazed by Dean's temper flare.

"Dad?" whined Dean.

"What he said." John agreed with Bobby.

"Shit." Dean snapped under his breath.

"The pills take away the pain." Bobby started to say.

"Fine, Bobby point taken." Dean growled.

"Feel better, Dean?" Norton asked as he walked into the room and saw Dean sitting up.

Dean huffed as he said, "Yeah."

"Good." Norton said as he walked over and checked Sammy's pulse. He nodded to himself as he felt Sammy's forehead. "He thrown up at all?"

"What?" Dean looked at Norton with a horrified expression before he jerked his head back around to stare at Sammy.

"I asked if he's thrown up at all." Norton repeated himself.

"Dad! If he… I … what if… I am not going to take anything that makes me sleep." Dean stated as he placed his hand across his stomach to cradle his casted arm.

"I gave him anti nauseous meds in his IV as well. I was just checking, Dean. It was a very slim possibility." Dr. Norton reassured him or at least tried to.

"I won't chance Sammy…" Dean snapped while he anger increased tenfold.

"Dean. Calm down." John stated firmly.

**TBC**

**TinYNoTe: **I had corrected the whole chap and went to save it and my internet connection died, ugh! Had to start all over... I think I have everything fixed... but... here ya go! LuVs and HuGGs~Crissi


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer**: I do not own… (Watches for the suits to leave) With a giggle and a smile, arches eyebrow as whispers _Sandbox to the right of mine… yep that's right… Winchester Sandbox! Yeah, I'm willing to share…_ LOL

**NOTE#1**: I want to say thank you to all my FFF! I love all the reviews and the compliments and just chatting! I am thrilled to be part of such a great community… the Supernatural Fanfiction bunch!

Chapter 41

"You expect me to…" Dean snapped.

"Calm down. Yes I do." John said as he watched Dean.

"I need to make sure…" Dean began heatedly.

"Dean I am sure you can take a break for a few hours everyday. There are three of us men here that can take turns with you so you can rest and not worry." Norton said with a smile.

"Look, Norton. _He's my brother_, not yours and not theirs. _Mine_. My mom put him in _my arms_ and gave _me_ the job of being _his _big brother." he said as he pointed at Sammy. "I won't let _her_ or _him down_."

"Okay." Norton said with his hands up in surrender, "I understand."

"Good. Pass the food. I'm starving." Dean said with a grin as he held out his good hand.

John stared at Dean. He was so little when Mary died; he was surprised that he remembered so much about her. It also explained why Dean was always on the job. Both parents had told him it was his job to watch over Sammy and one of those parents was dead. It was ingrained in Dean. To him it was as simple as breathing. He couldn't help the swelling of pride he felt for his oldest. He knew without a doubt that Dean, even if he died today would be able to take care of his little brother.

After the second stack of pancakes Dean handed the plate to John and reached for the last piece of bacon as he asked, "Was it breakfast time? What time is it?"

"Does it matter?" Bobby asked, "It's one of your favorite meals so you can eat it anytime I fix it right boy?"

Dean grinned as he lay back, "Yeah, thanks Uncle Bobby." Then he turned his attention to Sammy. He watched him a few seconds as his frown deepened he asked, "Shouldn't he be waking up now?"

"Anytime now." Norton said as he looked at Dean, "This is probably the first good sleep he's had in awhile. He's simply catching up."

Dean looked doubtfully at Sam as he said, "Yeah well if he doesn't wake up in the next hour I'm going to pinch him."

John laughed out loud; here he was thinking how mature Dean was and then he says something like that.

Bobby said with a grin, "You do and I'll pinch you."

"Either of you pinch my patients and I will give you both a dose of caster oil." Norton said.

"Like hell you will." Bobby snapped.

"What's castor oil?" Dean asked curious at how quick Bobby was to respond.

Norton started to respond only to have Bobby beat him to it, "Nasty shit, that's what it is! The taste stays with you forever. You will never forget the taste of it. My mom thought it was a cure all, every spring; she'd have all the kids line up and give them a dose. Every fall… same thing. Ugh… I need a beer." Bobby growled as he made an awful face as if he had tasted the stuff at that very moment. He left in a hurry without a backward glance.

Norton laughed as he said, "Well that sure…"

John stood just as quickly as he said, "Be back in ten, going grab a beer with Bobby."

"Well…" Norton laughed as he said, "Now I know how to clear a room."

Dean stared at him.

"Mention bringing out the castor oil and I have them both on the run." Norton said with a smile towards Dean.

Dean continued to stare.

"Well," Norton shrugged as he said, "I thought it was funny."

Dean asked finally, "Sammy's okay, right?"

Norton stopped checking the IV and stared back at Dean, "Yeah Dean. He's okay."

"You got to him in time to fix him?" Dean persisted as the worry shined bright in his eyes.

"What?" Norton asked.

"He won't die…" Dean asked and then bit his lip as he waited for his answer.

"Not today and not because of this." At the look on Dean's face he amended, "He will recover fully. But we will need to teach him how to eat so he can be healthy, not what he's been doing."

Dean studied the doctor before he asked, "So you think Bobby's right?"

Norton nodded as he said softly, "He wants John acceptance and I know how hard that is to get sometimes…" He held up his hand to stop Dean from interrupting, "I'm not saying your dad don't love you both. Just sometimes he has tunnel vision and Sam gets lost in the shuffle."

"He has me." Dean said defensively.

"Good thing, too." Norton agreed with a nod.

Dean narrowed his eyes as he studied Norton as he tried to decide if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Dean, Sam's recovery wouldn't be going so fast if you weren't here supporting him. Honestly, if you weren't here…" Norton stared intently at him before he admitted softly, "He'd probably be dead."

Dean's eyes jerked to Sam, still sleeping next to him not even realizing his hand had already made it to Sam's chest. The rise and fall of Sam's chest instantly calmed him.

"Dean I'm not trying to scare you." Norton said gently.

"Bang up job on that." Dean said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"I just want you to know how important you are to Sam." Norton said bluntly as he picked up things and straightened up his medical supplies.

"You couldn't just say… '_You are important to Sammy_.' You have to tell…" Dean stopped as he felt Sammy once again try to turn over in his sleep.

Sammy moaned in his sleep as he struggled to kick off the covers. He turned his head back and forth…

"Sammy, it's okay. I got ya." Dean said softly in his ear, he instantly calmed down as he moved towards Dean's voice even in sleep.

"That's what I'm talking about." Norton said as he changed the IV bag.

Dean grinned as he said, "Well, he loves his big brother."

"And it's obvious the feelings not mutual." Norton snarked back at Dean.

"He needs to wake up." Dean said getting tired of not talking to Sam.

"He's stirring it won't be long now." Norton replied.

"Well, I think this trying out for the part of sleeping beauty is getting' old." Dean said with a sigh.

**TBC**


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer**: This is so sad! They are not mine… sob… its okay, thanks for the concern… hiccups… I will survive I promise… even though I don't own them…

**NOTE#1**: This is my surprise for all the wonderful friends on FF that have stuck with me through all these chaps! And to all the ones that love this bloody story and have said like it's their favorite ever! Amazing Rush, guys! I adore you all! Thanks for the smiles! Here ya go, V and M, and Zigg my Sandbox Raidin' Bud! Enjoy!

Chapter 42

"D?" Sam murmured finally, much to Dean's relief although he still did not open his eyes.

"Yeah, bro?" Dean responded immediately, leaning in close to give Sammy his full attention.

"Where's mom?" Sammy asked softly.

"What?" Dean asked in a panic. Did he dream she was…

"Where is she?" Sam asked as he opened his eyes to stare at Dean.

"Sammy she died…" He told his little brother in an almost whisper.

"I know that. Where is she?" Sammy replied.

"Why are you asking then… you know." Dean asked confusion clear in his voice and on his face.

"NO." Sammy said angrily, "She's in heaven right?"

Dean struggled to get his breathing under control as he nodded.

"Good…" Sam asked closing his eyes.

"What? Wait… I need you to explain what that was about Sam." He asked giving Sammy a slight shake.

"I dreamed she was trapped in a two story house and couldn't go anywhere. She couldn't come with us and she couldn't leave… I'm glad it's not true." His little brother sighed sadly.

"Yeah it's just a nightmare, Sammy. Maybe they're going around. Had one myself this morning." Dean said as he reached out and mussed up Sammy's hair.

"You hungry?" Dean asked as he hoped that maybe he would be.

"No." Sammy replied back instantly.

"But maybe you can try." Dean tried to talk him into it.

Sammy crinkled up his nose as he said softly, "I don't want…"

"Don't want what, Sammy? I'll make anything you want to eat." Dean tried bribery.

"Really?" Sammy asked.

"Really." Dean grinned as he thought, _Yeah, success with the bribe_.

"Even if I want a milkshake with real strawberry and bananas mixed in it…" Sammy asked and as an after thought added, "and chocolate."

"Yuk… but yeah. Even that." Dean stared at Sammy a few seconds before he asked, "You really want that?"

Sammy chuckled as he said, "No. Just wanted to see if you'd make it for me."

"bitch." Dean said with a grin.

"jerk." Sammy retorted. Then Sammy noticed the IV bag, he lifted his arm, "How long?"

"Until you are better. Maybe gain some weight." Dean said as he tried to engage Sammy in conversation. It had been too long since he'd heard his little brother's voice; he'd slept forever!

"Dean, I'm a good size now, I just need to start running." Sammy said matter of factly.

Dean stared at Sammy shocked as he scrambled off the bed and started to pace in agitation before he stopped and pointed, "If you don't stop this right now, I'm going to kick your ass."

"Stop what?" Sammy asked as genuine confusion rippled across his face.

"This…" Dean started, stopped and took a deep breath before he snapped, "you _are not fat_ nor have you ever been. You were healthy before, Sammy… don't you get it? _You never had a weight problem_. You just thought you did. You swear…" Dean stopped to gulp air once again before he continued, "You swear right now… _to me_." Dean pointed from Sammy to himself. "Me… _you promise _that this is over!" Dean paced to the end of the bed and back. "That you… man you can eat healthy if you want as long as you eat."

Sammy sat up as he looked at Dean worriedly, he had never seen his brother that upset and that was saying alot with a temper like Deans'.

"_Dammit,_ Sammy." Dean looked at Sammy, his eyes turning a deep mossy color as he tried to reign in his emotions, "You scared the hell out of me… _Don't you understand that_? I've resigned myself that I will probably die by monster. But you…" Dean's voice started to shake with emotion, "_by your own hand, _dude_._ I can't deal with that… You get me?" Dean came back to stand next to Sammy.

"D… I'm sorry, I never meant…" Sam started to say only to have Dean interrupt him.

"I don't want your apologies." Dean stated firmly, "_I want your promise… no oath…" _He ran a hand through his hair as he continued_, "swear this is over_. That it won't happen again." he ended his tirade by turning his pleading eyes back to stare at his little brother.

Sammy stared at Dean a few minutes before he finally whispered, "_I swear to you D_."

Dean nodded as he slowed his breathing down before he added gently, "If you feel the need to do this again, tell me. We will fix it together. Deal?"

"Deal." His little brother told him firmly and then with a giggle to try to lighten the mood he added, "jerk."

"bitch I will hold you to this." Dean spit in his hand and held it out for Sammy to shake.

Sammy held his hand close to his chest. "Gross, D."

"Now." Dean frowned as he shook his hand impatiently for Sammy to take.

Sammy sighed as he slowly reached out and grasped his big brother's hand, it would do no good to ignore him. After they shook hands they both let go and wiped their hands on their pants, glancing up at the same time they noticed the identical movements and grinned at each other.

**TBC**


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer**: Not mine … sob… never have been… sob… never will be… sob… But I have come to realize that if they were mine then there would be no need for Sandbox Raids… and What would be the fun in that?

**NOTE#1**: I can't tell you how much I have appreciated everyone's kindness and support with I am Sam! You are truly Amazing! Thank you seems so little to say! I have made some awesome friends on FF, including ones I probably would never have met otherwise… as we live in different countries! So, thank you and I hope the ending was worth the wait! As always thank you for reviews, favs and alerts. Hope I got this out in time, V!

Chapter 43

Two and a half weeks later, Norton was in the process of removing the IV when Dean came running into the room and tossed something into Sammy's lap.

Sammy startled as he looked down and then back to Dean, "What the hell, D?"

"It's a book that Bobby just got for you." Dean said with a smile.

Sammy frowned as he turned the book over and read the title from the front cover. "The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton" he muttered.

Dean grinned as he told him, "A girl wrote it a long time ago. Made a movie of it even. They make you read it in high school."

"Have you read it?" Sammy asked curious.

"Yeah, even saw the movie." He admitted as he plopped onto the bed beside his brother.

"Where was I?" Sammy asked surprised by the tidbits of information that Dean was freely handing out.

"Um… I was with a girl… at her house." Dean said with a grin as he watched Sammy's face change from one of curious interest to a look of disgust causing his grin to widen to a full blown Winchester special. That's what he heard a waitress tell his dad one time about their smiles… she had said all three of them had the same gorgeous smile… _the Winchester special_.

"Ewh… D… too much information." Sammy grinned opening the book to Chapter one, _When I stepped out_…

Dean bounced on the bed as he told Sammy, "I told him he should have bought that two weeks ago. Now you won't have time to read it."

"_I won't_." He agreed with his brother, "Not with you bouncing on the bed. Sit still, Dean." Sammy said with an aggravated sigh, cranky that he had given him a book and then wouldn't let him read it.

"Sammy, it's nice out." Dean said with his own sigh of frustration as he glanced quickly at the window and then back to his little brother.

"So?" Sammy said with a hint of a question in the one word.

"So I'm taking you outside." Dean stated with a grin and a bounce.

Sammy gave a panicked look towards Norton who shrugged and grinned.

Sammy frowned as he asked, "Then why did you give me the book?"

"Bobby asked me to." Dean said with a '_doesn't matter_' shrug.

"But, Dean… I've never seen the movie or read the book." Sammy said with a definite twang of whine to it.

"Well, I'll tell you Ponyboy and Johnny…" Dean began, his huge smile never dimming as he watched his little brother cover his ears as he groaned loudly to drown out Dean.

"Shut up, D. Don't tell me anything… _fine_," Sammy huffed in agitation as he snapped a little peevishly, "I'll go outside with you."

"Good." Dean said as he stopped bouncing the bed.

"He's been pacing like a caged lion for days… take him outside and let him run." Norton said with a grin as he told Sammy. "You… only a short walk. You get tired, right back up here. So no overdoing it."

"Oh, he won't." Dean said emphatically.

Norton smiled at Dean, "I figured as much. Sam when you come back I want you to try a small milkshake before you get your first shot."

"I thought it was going to be pills now." Dean asked as he saw Sammy pale at the mention of shots.

"Just a week or two then pills if all goes well." Norton said in a no argument voice.

"Hurry up Sammy. Jeez you'd think you were as old as dad." Dean snarked as he hunted around for Sammy's shoes. Giving up after a few seconds as he added dismissively, "Just stay on the porch. Walk in circles or something."

"By myself… that's boring…" Sammy said as he glanced at the book, he really wanted to read it now. Not later.

"I'll bring one of the puppies on the porch for you to play with." Dean bargained.

He looked again towards the book.

"Bring it then," Dean sighed, "but you can only read it when I'm not talking to you." Dean said as he shifted impatiently from foot to foot.

Sammy stood and swayed. Dean was quick to grab and steady him, even one handed.

After they made it to the porch, Dean led Sammy over to a chair as he commented, "Old man, you are already tired… park it."

Sammy sank gratefully into a chair as he asked, "Where's Dad and Uncle Bobby?"

"Dad is working on the impala in the garage and Bobby went to town." Dean said as he headed down the steps.

Sammy opened his book and started once again to read only to have something slam into him and then run a slobbery tongue down across his cheek, "Yuk." he mumbled as he sat the book aside and grabbed the puppy to force him to be still. The puppy continued to wiggle his whole body in joy that he was free and with the boys.

Dean leaned against the railing of the porch as he watched Sammy with a smile on his face. When Sammy laughed out loud and hugged the puppy he knew his brother was going to be okay. He felt like for the first time he could relax and just enjoy the company of his brother once again.

Sammy looked over at Dean as he told him, "Thanks for being my big brother."

"Who else would take the job?" Dean asked as he tried for a teasing tone.

Sammy face fell as he disappointedly hid his face in the dog's neck.

"Dude," Dean waited until Sammy glanced up at him and then hid his face again, "I wouldn't let anyone else take my place, bitch. You're stuck with me little shit." Dean said as he tried to see Sammy's face. Taking a step closer he was startled when his dad said from behind him, "You boys need to start cleaning up your language. I'm not going to get called twenty times a day from the school because you've got gutter mouth."

Dean turned to look at his dad surprised. His dad was wiping his hands on a grease rag as he watched Dean.

Sammy muttered under his breath, "Yeah, jerk… watch your language."

John laughed at the incredulous look on Dean's face as he turned to stare at Sammy.

Sammy grinned as he let the puppy go who immediately went on the attack, trampling Dean in his wake to get to John who gave a surprised, "What the hell?"

At both boys laughing John smiled as he rubbed the dog's head. Looking up at them he asked, "What do you think about staying here awhile?"

"Awhile?" Dean asked as he shared a look with Sammy.

"Yeah, I talked to Bobby about maybe staying here while Sammy gets back on his feet." John stated as he watched the kids expressions.

Sammy tried not to cry, but a tear slid down his cheek anyway. He knew it would be coming; he should have been more prepared, he berated himself.

"Sammy?" Dean asked concerned moving to kneel beside him. He laid his good hand on Sam's knee.

"Sammy? What's the matter?" John echoed pushing passed the puppy to come up the stairs.

"My name is Sam. I'm not Sammy anymore." Sammy declared as he lifted his chin and stared John in the eye.

"Ok, son. If that's what you want." John said with a frown.

Sam looked at John a few seconds before he looked past him towards the garage where he could just see the backend of the impala.

Dean shook his knee to get his attention.

When he didn't respond he did it again.

Finally Sam looked down at Dean.

"So, what the hell is wrong? I thought you would enjoy staying the school year here. I told dad it was a good idea." Dean said worried at his brother's response.

Sam paled as he tried to get away from Dean.

Dean grabbed him and held him against his chest; he'd to stand and quickly catch Sam before he rushed off.

Sammy struggled to get away before he went limp and gave up.

Dean fell back landing in the chair as he pulled Sammy with him, "What the hell is wrong, Sammy?"

Sammy felt another tear slide down his cheek as he said, "When you leaving, dad?" After a brief pause he added, "Dean?"

"What?" John asked. He'd been letting Dean handle the situation because he had no idea what was going on with his son.

Dean rested his head against Sam's as he said, "Bro… we're all staying."

Sam jerked around to stare at Dean as Dean added, "We aren't leaving you and taking off."

Sam stared a few seconds before he asked suspiciously, "You aren't going to wait a few months and then bolt?"

"Not without you bitch." Dean said with a grin.

"Jerk." He said as he grinned back and impulsively gave Dean a hug.

He was startled to hear his father say, "Before the school years out, you'll be so bored; you'll be begging me to yank you out."

"I wouldn't count on it." Dean mumbled as Sammy gave a dimpled grin and pulled his dad into a hug. Dean gave a slight shrug before joining the hug.

"Can't breathe." Sammy gasped out a few seconds later; causing his dad and brother to laugh as John backed away while Dean playfully shoved at Sam's back, "Get off me you dork."

Sammy looked back as he stood; saying in a stage whisper, "bitch."

Dean shook his head in a mock _I'm so whooping your ass glare_ as he stood causing Sammy to bolt behind John.

John held up his hand as he said, "Go easy on him, you'll wear him out."

Sam stuck out his tongue at Dean from behind John's back.

Dean lunged, grabbing Sammy and putting him in a headlock. He had his knuckles against Sammy's head when Norton popped through the door, "Unhand my patient. It's time for his shot. That will be punishment enough, don't you think Dean?"

Dean instantly let go as he mouthed, "Sorry." to his Sammy.

"Dad." Sam whined.

"Sam, my man. If you are big enough to be called Sam you are big enough to take your medicine." John declared.

Sammy frowned as he stated, "My name is Sammy."

He had everyone laughing as Bobby pulled up.

Bobby climbed out of the truck pulling a bag with him. When he reached the porch he asked, "What the hell is wrong with you all?"

"That's Sammy." John pointed.

"Yeah?" Bobby gave John a '_how much have you had to fucking drink' _look.

Bobby shook his head.

Dean added, "Formerly Sammy, then Sam and now Sammy." then he laughed at Sammy's glare.

"Idgits." Bobby declared as he reached into the bag and pulled out something to toss at Sammy.

"The Outsiders movie?" Sammy looked at Bobby with a smile.

"Hey," Dean said, "You don't have a player."

"I do now; it's in the truck along with ice cream for milkshakes." Bobby stated going to the front door, then pausing to turn and say, "But we have to wait until Sammy's finishes the book to watch the movie."

"Damn." Dean muttered before he smiled, "I can tell him…"

"No." Bobby and John said at the same time.

"Fine." Dean growled, grabbing Sammy's book and slinging his good arm over Sam's shoulder as he said with a smile to Sam, "I'll read… you get doctored and then fed."

THE END

**TiNyNoTe**: Thank you all! Luv and HuGGs to all my FFF! Thanks for Sandbox Raidin' with me! Hell of a ride, huh? ~Crissi. PS~Normally I answer the reviews for previous chapters b/f posting but time got away from me! So here is your chap and when I get back home, I will be answering everyone. So sorry, luvs! ~iamtryN


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